Tales of a vagrant ant and MORE!

The end, mayhaps?

2005-11-10T18:54:00.000-05:00

The end, mayhaps?
I've grown a lot with Blogger, from like july 2002 when i first started this blog... from the blue blocky site, to the partly self crafted site you see before you. And as slick as blogger is, with it's easy to use interface, i feel like it might be time for me to move onto something a bit more powerful... I've also been realizing that i've been trying to incorporate too much into this place... like tagboards, and comments, and rotating banners, and all that nuttiness... not to mention the pop-up advertising that has infiltrated my site unbeknownst to me (since i use firefox, and it zaps those little mofos really well. I would have liked to get my own hosting, and start coding from scratch, but since i'm poor and unemployed, i'll be blogging from blogsome, at http://vagrantant.blogsome.com/, where they use wordpress, a blogging interface that can do more of what i want to do with my blog... So point your bookmarks thither, and i hope to hear from y'all there!!
It's been a slice!! :D

Intense..

2005-10-31T04:51:00.001-05:00

Intense..

Firstly some halloween scare before I start...
Scary stuff!!

well, it's been an intense past month... So much learning, so much experiencing of things. Coming back from a wonderful visit to Katie in North Carolina, I've been settling back down in Vancouver, at least trying to... There's been a state of civil unrest inside my mind. After living a year out of the watchful eye of my parents, i always feel like a bird in a cage coming back home, at least for the first few weeks.My first feeling when I was coming back home was that I felt inspired to go out in the world and live, and to take the world by its proverbial horns and hang on... Also was the fact that I was so lucky to have such a comfortable home. Everything is clean, fully working, and mostly new.

First I had to try to fit back into this life here though, just as I was trying to fit the past four years of my life into my room. I spent two weeks on-and-off unpacking, and trying to cram everything into something that I don't quite fits anymore. I ended up going through my whole room, and throwing out a large amount of paper that I know I would never miss.. Years of school notes, old clothes and magazines that had been lying forogtten.
It jsut seemed like there was this huge load hanging over me. a childhood's worth of memories and memorabillia, and the clutter was just really overwhelming.

My grandpa also passed away two weeks ago. It's so strange to realize that you won't be able to speak with someone, ever again. It was just hard to see him, such a proud and jolly man suffering like he did, with cancer. Like so many people have said, they seem fine until they start to fade, and then they fade fast. Really fast. I went to visit him at home at the beginnig of november, and it really hit me how hard it must be for him. He was starting to have trouble walking around and even getting up, and basically bed-ridden, . This is the man who a year ago, when he was first diagnosed with cancer, had a pedometer that he would carry around, and one day I looked at it, and it said something like 8000 steps and he said that was like nothing. That's an impressive kilometre and a half every day, for a 77 year old!!

Then two weeks, later, he went into the hospital. His room almost always had our family in there, to feed him, and just to keep him company. I don't think think he's woken up alone in the longest time, and when someone was there to see him in the morning, he told us that's what made his day brighter. He was in the hospital, trying cream of mushroom and minestrone soup, and yoghurt for the first time in his life. "It's pretty good, I've never tried it before" was what he had to say about that. And then over the next day or two, he lost consciousness. As sad as it was for everyone in the family, in a weird way, my grief was tinged with a bit of relief when my dad popped his head into my room that morning to say that he had passed on. Relieved because he was no longer in pain. My sister had a dream that night/morning that she was visiting Grandpa, and he had woken up, and his eyes were bright. My sister went to his bed and told him that everyone had been really worried about him, and he just looked at her and held her hand. Then my sister leaned in to give him a hug at the bed, and then he stood up, smiled at her, and gave her a hug. That was when my dad woke my sister up to tell her the news. My grandma had a similar dream, where he was quiet and bright-eyed, and my sister wonders if he had come to her in dreams to say goodbye. It seems like it.

So the past two week has been a lot of family time. Everyone's been coming together. all 5 of my mom's siblings, and their families. All twenty-two of us, even my uncle who flew in from Thailand. My grandpa's funeral was last week, and it affected me deeply, and opened my eyes a lot, about nature of death, my own beliefs, and who I am and where I come from.

I've never been to a funeral of anyone I've known well until now, much less a traditional chinese funeral. Unlike what I've heard of north american funerals, where you celebrate the life of your loved ones, it seems that what I went to was much more of a preparation, for the journey to the afterlife, and for, well, life in the afterlife. I've remembered trying to believe in reincarnation, and the afterlife, and I've had trouble trying to "convince" myself to believing. I guess it's just that I had no concept of death to grasp in the first place, and it really does seem like it's humanity's way of dealing with such matters, of bringing closure, or understanding the incomprehensible. Now I understand why burial ceremonies are seen as so important in human history, as a marker of our mental evolution. It just seemed appropriate that he needed preparation to leave, that his spirit was still near his body, not quite understanding what had transpired, not believing. Grandpa was decked out in his finest suit, hair slicked back like it usually was, and his face slightly unnatural from the way that his normally drooping ends of his lips were not pulled back tautly. The priest went up to him, and whispered who my grandpa was to his spirit, so that he would know who he was, in his afterlife, and know who his family in the living world was. There's a chinese custom to burn paper offerings to the deceased, with the belief that these paper replicas would manifest themselves in the afterworld. It's common to burn "ghost money" for the dead, and I think we burned him enough to last a long time. Something on the order of a few billion dollars, I guess, with a bag of "bribe money" to give to the guards of the afterworld to make the journey easier. Along with a red mercedes, a big house, clothes, a debit card, a stereo, toiletries, and two personal servants. I think he should be set for (after)life.

Something else I found fascinating about the ceremony was all of the evocative symbolism everywhere. The concepts of spirit, the fire, the burning, and the priest who performed the rites, and sang a song, where he read out all the members of my Grandpa's family in a sing-song voice. Everyone was dressed in white clothes, and a black ribbon tied around all of the family. Women wore these white shrouds, while the men wore these straw belts, and children of my mom's generation wore a white belt, and if unmarried (which we all were), with a red dot. There was a lot of bowing, to pay our respects for him, and we would line up, sons and the mother in the first row, the daughters in the next row, followed by male spouses, female spouses, male grandchildren, and female grandchildren, all according to senority from left to right. In a way, it was really revealing of traditional chinese culture and its hierarchy that is still prevalent, even today. Bowing would be done thrice, and with burning incense when first appearing before my grandpa.

The family sat on the left side of the room, and when friends of the family showed up to pay their respects (we spent the whole day there, basically waiting for people to show up), they were bow to the deceased with incense, and then we would bow to each other at the same time, before they went to take their seat.

One of the hardest parts of the whole thing was my grandma, who was so heartbroken that day. I've never ever seen anybody as sad as she was that day, and it was just so hard, knowing that there was nothing you could do for her to lessen the grief. I think that in the end, the fact that the whole family has been together has definitely made things easier. Being in a large group of 22 people, young and old makes it a bit easier to deal with the sadness, but it also just seems like there's something that's missing, doesn't it, when I look at my grandma staring off into space.
A bunch of us went to the cemetery to pay a visit to grandpa today. and we burnt some more incense and offerings, and even some offerings of brandy, by pouring it in front of the grave while bowing. But you can sense the sadness in my grandma when she's sitting there, just thinking... She's much quieter now. I put on her hat today while shopping at Yaohan, and it's nice to know that she can still laugh, despite everything.

| feeling: sad |
Today's Photo: Old photo of my grandparents

impending

2005-09-14T10:39:00.000-04:00

Impending

It's been a bit of a whirlwind tour the past 3 weeks or so... My parents took my computer mid-august, along with 5 other pieces of luggage to help ease my move back to vancouver easier. So I've been packing away all of the stuff i wouldn't need for two weeks, as well as trying to see some of the good friends i've made over the last four years, moving out of the apartment and preparing for my trip to north carolina, which is where i'm at right now. I've been here for a week and a half now, and it's just been so good. After being apart for over two months, you almost forget ohw nice it feels to have someone to snuggle up against at night, and to quietly murmur to each other as you fall asleep. We've gone to see a neat lighthouse, to the beach to just relax and watch the ghost crabs skitter on the sand. We've also gone dune hang-gliding on Jockey's Ridge, so close to where the Wright Brothers had their first flight. But really, just to be together to do everyday things, and to be in each other's company will do nicely. Even if it is getting ready for a hurricane, securing loose objects that the wind might pick up.
That's right, hurricane ophelia is coming right our way on the outer banks of north carolina. It's such a strange impending sense of... something. Doom, I suppose, but I don't think it's supposed to be nearly as dangerous as anything recent. But just preparing the house for the flooding from the hurricane is such a weird concept to me, as is watching the storm come in on the radar on the Weather Channnel, and then seeing it outside. There's a little bit of fear, just seeing the darkdark clouds outside, especially since I've never been in any kind of severe weather like this, so I just don't have any idea what to expect.
In a way, I feel a bit like this myself, in my own life. Like there's an impending sense of something big about to happen, in how I've been relaxing intensely this past 1 1/2 weeks, and just sort of trying not to think about figuring out what I'll be doing after I get home. I think that finally, the feeling of lost-ness is finally hitting me... Not more scrambling to buy textbooks, going to my first week of classes. I'm not sure if I miss it or not, but just thinking about school brings back certain smells of guelph, of old buildings mingled with countryside barns and the scent of autumn.

Photorama!

2005-08-16T01:36:00.000-04:00

Photorama!

I've recently joined up with trekearth.com and photo.net, both very nifty sites, where you can look at other people's photos, critique them, upload your own and get them critiqued... You can check out my growing portfolio at the links above, if interested. But damn, getting a review was like the most exciting thing ever!! I guess it's just always fascinating to get feedback on shots I take, especically when it's not necessarily positive, but constructive. I can see myself really getting into this online photography community more...

| feeling: Excited |
| listening: fan blowing |
Today's Photo: Goldenrod , Killarney Park, Willows

Randomrandom

2005-08-13T16:48:00.000-04:00

Randomrandom

Hmm, another lazy saturday afternoon... And some time to blog out a bit...
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I could meditate.. These people are able to concentrate ridiculously intensely on one thing. Usually, when I try to focus on a single thought, I last something like 5 seconds... and some of the retreatist monks can last for 723 seconds!! Then again, I guess it's almost their full time job, just sitting there concentrating on one thing.
And in other news, I found this nugget of goodness on the net... The backstroke of the west. This guy saw Ep3 Revenge of the Sith in Thailand, and it has some of the best translations....
here's some samples:
"obi wan, may the force be with you" becomes "anakin: "ratio tile, the wish power are together with you", or "giving first aid the already disheveled hair projection". Hoo man... I heart engrish!!

hokay, enough silliness. Life here has been good... My boss just randomly decided that we're going to have a 3 day weekend, with monday being a paid holiday! sweet!! i know i'm not complaining!! Tommorow will be some underwater hockey action.. I'm going to give it another whirl... the first time I tried that, I was REALLY intimidated by it all. We played in the pool that sloped down to a good 20 feet, and I could make it down to the bottom of the pool, before I had to head back up, without going after the puck. heh. Hopefully the people won't be as intense as last time. I'm going with a few friends, so I hope that mellows things out...
Farmer's market was also this morning. The apple cider has returned, even though it's rather sour, at this time of the year. I didn't find a whole lot that I needed this week... I'm currently in the process of eliminating food from my pantry... so just trying the most random concoctions of food. And trying not to buy tons of food, since I'm not plannign on bringing it home to vancouver. And I'm realizng that I REALLY need to start packing up my stuff. And the next week or so will be interesting, as I find out just how resourceful I am with my ninja packing skillz. In a way, it's starting to feel like an end of an era... I know that I will still be friends with people here, but in a way, it just won't be the same... it's not a matter of just calling them up and hanging out... I feel like it'll have to be much more planned... in order to make the transcontinental journey.

Just the past little while, I've also been realizing how much I've been missing my family. Usually, they are at the back of my mind, always there for me, but this past two weeks, I've been sorting my photos again, and I stumbled across a folder of family photos, and I dunno. Just like photos of family dinners, and other random silliness. like so:

My dad is a ridiculous man sometimes. He is a definitely a funny guy, but sometimes I just forget just how funny he is. This picture to the right was at the pearson airport... One of the pay meters was ridiculously high, so my dad decides to play it up. Oh, dad.

But I think I can say that my photos are finally organized now... Or at least there's a framework of organization that works well. Right now, I've organized photos by year, and then by events (parties, holidays, vacations, etc...) And then I've been going through them all, and giving them keywords for easier searching later. I'm also in the midst of sort of assembling a portfolio of sorts. Just some of my more memorable photos, and assembling them into one place. Gonna get in some of the Photoshopping action. I've gotten much more into this photography hobby this summer. They're the only magazines I've been buying, and I've bought like 3 or 4 books on them, especially after I got my new digital skr. I'm finding that when I've been walking around and I see some ads on billboards and such, I've been trying to analyze them, and try to figure how it was that they took those pictures. Sometimes, it feels almost like a state of mind, when I leave the house, putting on my "photography hat", and try to look at the world through newborn eyes

| feeling: inspired |
| listening: Metric - Combat Baby |
Today's Photos: Spiral, Silhouette, Buoys

Loose ends

2005-07-27T01:02:00.000-04:00

Loose ends
It's strange to think that the summer is almost over... Nary a month, before my summer in Guelph is over... And then it'll be time to head back to Vancouver for new adventures. I remember at the beginning of the summer, thinking how slow the summer was going, and how I seemed to be just drifting from week to week in total routine-mode, showing up at work, leaving work, making dinner, relaxing, making lunch for the next day, then bed, essentially. Granted, there has been a fair amount of fun to be had.. I've made new friends and such, but in a way, I am feeling myself starting to extricate myself from them, in the knowledge that i'm unlikely to see most of them again... Part of it is that I just don't think i can keep up with the constant partying... which seems to be one of the few things people do around here... not that there's anything wrong with it, just that it's not really my scene, I guess. I've been really tired at work, and staying up til 2am probably isn't helping much... But other than that work is going alright though... I had a bit of carpal tunnel or something for a few days, and I invested in a wrist brace... It's still a bit distracting at times, but for the most part, the pain is gone, which is great! Friday is Christmas in July at work... we're having a potluck, followed by a gift exchange, which is a great idea.. It should be a good time...

So life has really been treating me good... I've been quite the consumer whore as of late though... buying guitar things, some RAM to boost my computer, some nice books... And someone from work was thinking about skydiving, and I'm really tempted to, cuz really, when is the next chance that I'll get to go? There are so many things that I have yet to do, especially before leaving Guelph, like biking to guelph lake, among a long list of things to do.

I feel like my subconsciousness is starting to collect itself.. Just gathering everything, and compartmentalizing things in my mind... I've had an urge to organize my photos again, and it's almost like I'm just reviewing the past 4 years of my life here in guelph... And I think it's trying to tie up loose ends... fix up some things that have been broken, and trying to bring things to a conclusion... I've been buying parts for my bike, since it's so trashed in the first place, and it'd be nice to fix it up... Right now, my bike has no breaks... I went downtown saturday afternoon to try and fix the guitar that I found on the side of the road in April... I found it with no strings, and hockey tape around the bridge. Got me some strings, and after learning on the internet how to restring a guitar and restringing one string, I realized that one of the tuner pegs was broken.. Livia and Roxanne were going downtown for some shopping, so I went back downtown, guitar in hand, to see what could be done.
So I was sitting in St. George's Square waiting for Roxanne, with my one stringed guitar, when this little girl came up to me and tried to hand me a toonie. I looked at the actual busker sitting a couple metres away, and back at the girl, and told her that I couldn't take her money, as I wasn't even playing anything. To this she inquired as to why I wasn't playing, and all I had to say was "But I've only got one string... Why don't you give it to that man over there". teehee, cutest little girl EVER... But yeah, then I went to try and repair my one stringed instrument, and apparently it shouldn't be hard... but the guitar tech wasn't in, so repairs will have to wait until tommorow...

Afterwards, I had Livia, Paul and Roxanne for an impromptu dinner of manwiches and veggies... no, not Sandwiches... manwiches... They're just like sloppy-joe type things. Just delish, and a pleasant evening, sitting on my balcony, watching the murder of crows on the rooftop.

Sunday was the day of Hillside... A 3 day music festival, and which I was only able to get passes for sunday. I was quite impressed with the event... Such a beautiful location... On an island in the middle of Guelph Lake. No styrofoam plates, or even paper ones... They had a crew of dedicated volunteer dishwashers to wash the plastic plates, so that was awesome. They also used windpower for electricity, and everyone was so friendly... I got off the bus, and a girl saw me shielding my camera from the drizzle, so she shared her umbrella with me for a moment, before we went our seperate ways. One of the highlights was definitely the "drumless drum" workshop, which was on vocal percussion, and beatboxing and such. So we learned some of the moves, and then we started beatbox jamming. The group there, comprised of teens to cute old grandmas, for just a brief moment, synchronized our rhythms, and we just let loose!! Such an amazing experience... Other highlights include Xavier Rudd, who played guitar, a foot drum, and alternated between vocals and a didgeroodoo. A really amazing one man act!! And they had this pottery stand, and you could paint your own pottery, and they would glaze it and then deliver it to your house!! i'm really psyched to pick up mine... It's too bad that it took me so long, and I ended up missing most of Broken Social Scene, and the surprise guest appearanec by k-os... I really wish I had gotten weekend tix, so that I could enjoyed everything there... instead of having to miss so much. I did catch Sam Robert's play though, who played a decent show. He didn't compare to what I heard about Arcade Fire... Apparently at one point, they were just playing music with anything they could find... drumming on speakers, and helmet that they just happened to be wearing. Then they got off the stage, and started walking single-file down this path into the darkness, still playing away, while people followed closely behind. For pictures from Sunday, click here.

And oh, here is the yahoo site where I've been uploading been uploading my photos to... Mostly for events where other people might want to see pics. I've been trying to post some older events as well... like the High Voltage concert (ACDC Cover Band), Canada Day Shenanigans, and much more...
So yeah, if you've got time, feel free to look around! i've love that!

| feeling: accomplished |
| listening: Radiohead - Planet Telex |
Buzznet Photos: Alien Abduction at Hillside?, Sam Roberts closing Hillside, A murder of crows, Reaching for the skies

Wholesome

2005-07-16T14:13:00.000-04:00

Wholesome

I decided that it was definitely time to take it easy this weekend ... There's been too much bustling, partying, running around, and a part of me just needed to chill. And it's been exactly what I've needed. I'm just in this little sweet spot in my own little world, and I feel entirely wholesome... We got off work early, so I headed over to the mall, ended up picking up some nice books. The Tao of Photography, and a book on clayoquot sound. Tres exciting! And I ran into Eee McGee (Erin McGregor), and we went shopping for a while, looking at cards, and giggling about sending cards to people for the wrong occasion. We're gonna ssend each other cards for no reason at all. I'm excited.

After that, I went home and I made myself a nice little dinner, and watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. A marvelous film, albeit a bit sad, in that uplifting kind of way. Love stories like that invariably lead my thoughts to Katie, and that's when bittersweet pain trickles into my heart for just a moment. Sometimes I feel like Katie and I can take on the world together, even if we're worlds apart... and other times, like last night, I don't know how I can survive another day without holding her in my arms. It's been a pretty hectic time for the both of us.. It's Shark Week at the Aquarium, so she's been running around madly, cutting out shark hats and fun stuff like that, and I just been busy at work, and all kinds of activities on the weekends. I guess it's just a lack of connection that's been gnawing away to me. MSN, as inadequate a substitute for actual conversation as it is, with the nuances of our body language, did its miracle work on me.

This morning, I woke up in a very confused state of mind, that soon departed, along with the strange dream that left my consciousness. I caught the bus downtown to the Farmer's Market, and purchased a delectable assortment of goodies... I got my hands on the last loaf of farmer's bread, some elk sausage, and a terrific cinnamon bun from the really friendly greek guy. I also noticed that the usual guy (with a terrific grin) running the freshly squeezed orange juice stand had been replaced by a less grinning asian guy. I wonder what happened. Being at the market today made me feel really connected to the Earth somehow... I looked at all the produce, and I could almost see the generosity that our Earth has blessed us with. You hear about all the destruction to our planet, and not to say it's not happening, but you know that Earth's still got some fight in her!

The next stop was the Dragon, the comic book store in Guelph. they were having a sale, and I bought some graphic novels. Good times, good times. And I topped it off with a visit to the lovely Carden Street Cafe for lunch. I had the thai noodles with shrimp, and a mango mousse, in Katie's honour. Teeheehee.

On the way home, it started thunderstorming, and it was so magical. I could've just stood there with awe, as the thunder rippled through the clouds. It was like someone was ripping the clouds apart, and the water was coming pouring out. But I was standing outside, close to some trees, and I was a bit scared of being struck by lightning, so like a puny human, compared to the vastness of the clouds, I scurried to the safety of my apartment.

| feeling: full of wonder |
| listening: Collective Soul - The World I Know|
Today's Photo: Spires
*I changed from Fotolog to Buzznet... It's got advertising galore, but I think it should work a bit better, and I can post more pictures! huzzah! Tell me if it works or not

Early Morning

2005-07-11T23:57:00.000-04:00

Early Morning

tommorow's going to be an early day... well, just 1/2 a hour...
I'm getting trained on running ELISA (enzyme linked immunosorbent assay) testing at work... It should be cool, if not just a tad scary, since it's the essentially the most important step at my job... it's exciting, I guess.

Life has been pretty crazy as of the last month. Not really partyhardy kinda crazy... but just so many things going on. I'll try to recap parts of it in a somewhat organized fashion...

-1- Grad
First was graduation, which was a good time. God, that seems like a forever and a half ago. My family came over from Vancouver, which was really nice just to be able to spend time with them. My dear parents also got me like the camera beyond my dreams... the nikon d70s... a beautiful beautiful digital slr... so it's been my little baby that has been taking up some, well a whole bunch of my time these days...
but I remember not really feeling much excitement, until I was pretty much seated at the ceremony, and started watching the speakers give their speech and students walking up to the stage, beaming smiles as they knelt before the chancellor, this funny old man, whose function at the university is unknown, besides sitting there lookin cool, and speaking in a deep gruff voice (wow, run-on sentence). It was funny, because you could clearly see where my family was, from the 5 cameras shared between the six fam peeps that showed up. *snapsnapsnapsnapsnap* My dad (camera fiend), my sister (camera fiend 2 with my new camera), my mommy (proud new camera owner), my cousin carolyn (casual picture taker), my aunt (proud new camera owner 2), and my grandpa (cameraless).
As I listened to Terry Gillespie (professor emeritus) give a speech complete with lord of the rings, and poop references, I decided that it would be my goal to get the chancellor to do the peace sign for the camera.

I succeeded, as you can see in the picture. It was sweet, partly because he was saying to me "is this appropriate?" as he did it, and partly cuz he has this really cool look on his face, eyes closed in a zen-like fashion.
After the ceremony, I was repeated mobbed by my family for pictures, with each member of the family wanting a picture of me, and every other member wanting a picture of it... After doing that outside with family, I went inside to the gym, and repeated the procedure with my friends. Plans were then made to meet at the Albion Hotel, a funny old bar in guelph, and good times were had. There, I discovered a fun new way to take pictures with friends, if you don't mind not having the most flattering photo, or showing a bit of crotch . But honestly, a really fun time... just make sure no skirts are being worn... that's real trouble. If so inclined, you can see the day's pics here
I spend the rest of that weekend with my family, just chilling out, and spending a nice father's day in toronto.
That sunday evening, Katie came back to Guelph from Erie to pick me up to whisk me away for a week in North Carolina.

-2- North Carolina

T'was a friggin long drive down to the Outer Banks, NC, although I had the very special Katie for company. She let me drive most of the way down in Ezra, her white dodge stratus. The resulting excessive fast food was the main detracting aspect of the drive down, as was the numb buttocks experienced by all.
North Carolina is a beautiful place. Not quite what I expected... I think I expected it to be more... wild, and less strip-mall action down much of the main road. I spent most of the mornings that week, waking up to a goodbye kiss as Katie left for work, sleeping in late, and wandering the beaches while the sun didn't scorch, and retreating to the air-conditioned goodness of Katie's beachside bungalow. It was seriously a stone's throw from the ocean.
I wandered the area a little bit, visiting Jockey's Ridge, the sand dune where I was supposed to work, at the hang gliding school. Seeing the instructors, I shook my fist (in spirit), and wished that it was me instead, that was floating down the sand dune, landing like a butterfly at the end of the flight. I do admit I wished I had fought harder to get a job here, but there's no use crying over spilt milk, right??
Other highlights included:
-howling with wolves, amidst a light sheen of fireflies in a nature reserve, and hearing the eerie moan of wolves, from miles away, above the cacaphony of bullfrogs and insects
-walking along the beach by night, the wind blustering, and the waves crashing on the sand. We walked and looked for little ghost crabs that scurried away from us, and watched as the crimson moon rose. Then we sat on the sand, and talked, inspired by the ocean. Honestly, the ocean is kind of scary at night, unknown, dark and loud
-Visiting Katie's work at the aquarium, watching her dive in the giant saltwater tank, and getting a behind the scenes tour
-walking along the beach in the afternoon, watching her as she fluttered across the sand, finding all sorts of precious things that my poor eyes would never notice, and picking up garbage as we walked down the beach. oh, we've such enviro scis, haha.
-Spending the morning snuggled in bed on her day off, just enjoying the feeling of warm skin and sunlight.

The day I had to leave, it started pouring hard, rain that soaked to the bones. I almost missed my flight, having not accounted enough time for checking in... Part of me just wished that I would miss the flight, so that I could somehow spend more time with her, although I knew that I couldn't make her drive that two hour drive to the nearest international airport, the day before her work started.
I got home mostly in one piece, with only a slight luggage fiasco to report, and a nice conversation with the shuttle bus guy.
Pics can be seen here

-3- Canada Day Weekend
The next week was spent getting used to being alone again, and then it was the long weekend. I went to Ottawa, to meet up with some enviro sci friends. It was a good time. Almost got killed by lightning, walking the bridge from Hull to Ottawa during a thunderstorm. Saw some crazy people, in full colour-coordinated canadian glory, and got hit by hot cardboard debris watching as bits of firework fell on us, as it dazzled the city. The two days after that were spent at Christina's cottage in Clarence, right on the Ottawa River. We got to go boating and swimming in the river. I think it was my first real cottaging experience... Definitely a great time. playing horseshoes and croquet, and then talking about everything under the moon, sitting around the fire.
And then, some time after midnight, the nightswimming hour struck, and we doffed our clothes and jumped in. It was such a surreal scene. The stars that night were shining so bright, reflecting off the waves, the only sound being the sound of paddling of limbs. Afterwards, Kev, Aisha, Shannon and I dried off, sat on the boat, played guitar and sang songs as the sky turned from navy to blue to yellow, orange and finally red. We walked back to the cottage to the sounds of singing birds awakening the world. We all felt so special, to have seen that sight of the night sky, and for having spent it with good friends, who managed to come from all over ontario, to come together and connect, even if but for a moment.
I haven't gotten any pictures up from that weekend yet.. I took pictures something fierce like 700 shots or something.

-4- Fast Forward

And now we're up to last weekend, which was as action packed as could be. Thursday was at PaulanLivia's place, and Paul's family had a delicious chicken for us, and we gorged on a meal complete with stuffing, veggies, and potatoes. Yummm...
Then we just sat and talked, and ate some strawberry rhubarb crisp (my 2nd attempt)

Friday, I went to a work party Kathy's, and it was good times, after a hiatus from the party scene at PPV.
Saturday was a short trip to the farmer's market, and then a quick greyhound to toronto with Dear, Steph, Ronnick(sp?) and Amy, to see the Street festival. I think i'm just getting old... I get so tired just walking around town and such. At one point, I just wanted to sit and chill. no need to spend unnecessary money on overpriced food, or transportation, or anything. just enjoying sitting. Not that I didn't enjoy it... We left on a good note... there was this really creepy parade going on, with red giraffes played by men on stilts, with a weird moaning voice and eerie music. As I rounded the corner the greyhound station on bay st., I glanced back at the parade, and the giraffes had encircled this large bed with a person on it. The giraffes were bobbing their heads up and down, with maniacal laughter echoing the streets, and then suddenly, a giraffe lit into flames. Scary? Yes. Strange? Very much so.
Sunday, I went to Angel's Diner, a greasy 50's diner with all sorts of paraphenalia. I went for lunch, with Roxanne, Jen, Livia and Paul. Afterwards we went for a short canoe trip up and down the Speed River. Cheap good fun, I'll say!

So yeah, that's been me this past month. Pretty busy and fun, but I think that really, I just need to chill out, and settle for a while. Organize the bucket of photos in my computer, watch some moovies, ride my bike. There's the feeling of being stretched thin, and I need to bring all of myself together.
The next two months will be intense... A lot of searching... for direction, in this journey of life. It's slowly hitting me that I've been shackled from school, and I can do anything I want. Really I can. And the ideas have been blossoming inside my head, and I really need to do some soul-searching to find what it is that I want to do...
What I need to do right now though, is go to bed. Work is beckoning me to bed. Eep.
Farewell and goodnight.

p.s. I'm switching from Fotolog to a new service that works a bit better, since people are having so much trouble with my pictures. more info soon!

| feeling: contemplative |
| listening: Ben Folds Five - Brick |

Crikeys!

2005-07-11T02:36:00.000-04:00

Oi, i'm still alive here...
It's late right now, once again, but just thought i'd say hi.
The month's been real busy, the summer good, and now, my room is clean!
I shall return tommorrow with more to say!

life of a lab monkey

2005-06-08T23:45:00.000-04:00

life of a lab monkey

Well frankly, that's what I am... A glorified lab monkey that runs around doing mostly the same thing over and over again. The job itself I suppose is not so interesting. Today, I punched holes in leaves most of the day. Next week, I might be upstairs, grinding the samples, and pipetting the liquid into microplates. Like I said... not the most riveting job I've had... But really, it's the people, and the little perks that make the job itself enjoyable. Usually, because the stuff we do is so routine, we have ample time to just sit and talk to people, and it's fun just learning about people and joking around and such. Although sometimes, the conversation will steer towards stuff like General Hospital, or weddings, or other such typically feminine conversational topics. That's alright, because I think I do appreciate the lull, that lets me just sort of think about my own things sometimes. And as for the perks... the last weekends have been 3 day weekends... we've also had a bbq on the friday of our 1st week of work. The following thursday was a "field trip", where we got to sit on a bus and watch movies, visit some orchards and packaging plants, and then go on a winery tour at jackson triggs, and sample 3 different wines. Good times, good times, I say.
The jobs really neat in the sense that everyone is roughly the same age, and everyone gets along great (at least so far).. there's been a couple parties and I guess I've never really had real "work friends", as I've never worked a full time job before, with consistent hours. And really, what kind of work friends was I going to have from Kumon anyways? silly math learning centre. But yeah, I've enjoyed meeting new people, although sometimes when I sit and think about it, many of these people are 2 years or so younger than me, which is strange simply in the fact that the only friends that I've ever made really have been all older...
But I guess I've fallen into a routine already.. work from 8:30 until around 4 or 5, come home, loaf around a bit, and then make dinner... look at the sunset for a while, loaf around some more, wash the dishes, make lunch for the next day, and then it's pretty much a day for me, at least on a typical weekday.
My newfound hobby is finding ways to avoid the heat. So far, heat is kicking my ass, as I somehow forgot to account for the fact that it's typically hotter, the higher you live in an apartment building. And right now it's a more-than-just-warm temperature, but it's ridiculously humid... especially since we just had a nice little thunderstorm... My oh so ever pleasant allergies have also decided to manifest itself right around now... I am hoping that I'll somehow get used to whatever it is causing this infernal hell of itchy eyes, and stuffy, runny nose. I've tentatively decided that it's work that I'm allergic to.

In other news, it's a week before I have my convocation, and get to see some of my classmates, some perhaps for the final time... My parents and sister are coming to see me, and there's a chance my aunt might show up, if we can figure out a way to get around the 3 person limit imposed upon us. She's just been taking care of me the last 4 years, and having her be there for my graduation seems like the least I could do for her... It's also a week until I get to see Katie. A very exciting prospect, as I haven't looked into her lovely eyes, or kissed her lips since April 22nd.
Another exciting thing is that when I was filling out one of those blasted surveys for the Sierra Club to steer their "Future Directions", there was a check box for education... and it was then that I really realized that yes, in fact I have finished university!

| feeling: accomplished |
| listening: the spinning of the fan |
Today's Fotolog: Sunset from my balcony

p.s. hey... I want to just get some sort of opinion... Assuming that you do look at the pictures from my fotolog, would you prefer to just have it in my lj directly, or do you like clicking the linky?

outdoors

2005-05-30T22:34:00.000-04:00

outdoors

Today was spent mostly outside for a change! I took the bus downtown to see the doctor about something, and then went exploring around the old quebec street mall... It's this done up mall full of fancy yuppie furniture stores and clothing boutiques. They had this little chinese restaurant called the jade unicorn, which was neat. I had their curry with shrimp and chicken and veggies. Twas pretty good. I started reading Othello over lunch.
Then I headed over to this park to meet up with some ppv people (aka work friends) to play some beach volleyball. I was walking in the forest, and it was just really beautiful and serene. A little brook trickled, just beyond the trees, and on my left was the remains of an old majestic looking mill. Guelph has so much history... all these old buildings with such a colourful history.
One of the girls at volleyball had brought their baby along. In a way, it was a little weird to see it, just because so many people just aren't at that stage of life yet, but at the same time, it seemed so natural and happy.

Soon after I got home, I went for a walk with my roommate adrienne, a walk that turned into a 2 and a half hour adventure. It was really neat seeing so much of guelph that I hadn't seen before. Just walking along the speed river, and noticing all the canadian geese and the suddenly prolific abundance of beach volleyball courts. Being outside makes me miss Katie... It seems that everywhere, there are things that make me think of Katie, whether it's a little secluded grassy knoll where this couple were sitting, obviously kissing before we rounded the corner to disturb their moment. All the ducks and geese were also paired up and just swimming around nibbling on algae. I see all the things that I would have loved to share with her, and all the places we could have gone to sit and watch the world go by...

I think that's why i've been reluctant to go outside, because missing her is hard.. I'm trying to imagine the next 5 months, in which i'll see her about a week, maybe two... and really, I'm not trying to imagine it too much. But really, I just need to stop being a wuss and just get out.. I think it does do me good. I keep saying that life is made of happy and sad times, and that's the reality of it, but right now, I'm just ignoring the sad part of the equation, so I need to work on that.

But wow, being outside all day has made me really pooped. Gonna get some early sleep tonight, I think. Work beckons tommorow, after my 3 day weekend.

I'm going to start storing my photos on yahoo! photos, here. Mostly like events, parties and what not. So as I get time, and the summer rolls on, I'll be posting my pics here!
Anyways, off to bed. Toodles!

| feeling: tired |
| listening: Finley Quaye - Dice |
Today's Fotolog: Red Vs. Blue
And oh, yesterday's fotolog didn't work... so here it is...
Yesterday's Fotolog: Land of Dandelions

the feeling's sinking in...

2005-05-29T12:39:00.000-04:00

the feeling's sinking in...

I think that I've finally settled into life here in Guelph. Getting my room all settled in, starting a new job, reformatting my computer, all that good fun, I guess. I'm gonna try to take pictures of my place sometime today. I've finally finihsed decorating most of it, even though my living room is a bit sparse. No TV, but neither me or Adrienne really watch it enough to warrant it. I do sometimes wish I had some super nintendo or something.. haha! I've been trying to liven it up with some plants and stuff.

My new job is rad... I've been quite enjoying myself the last two weeks. I'm working with almost 80 other students around my age. It's been training the last two weeks, so I've been able to get to know some of the other people quite well. Definitely a welcome change from my hermit-like lifestyle I had been leading the weeks prior to that. The first friday, we had a half day at work, followed by a bbq lunch provided for us... Saturday and Sunday night, there were some parties happening, and good times were had. Monday was Victoria day, and Scott had a little shindig at his house... BBQ, followed by some fireworks, drinks and card games. Wow, I never thought that playing Pit drunk was so ridiculously funny. An apt description of it is Old Maid on steroids!
But man, oh man, that whole weekend, I felt like I was eating hamburgers and hot dogs ALL weekend.. I was feeling pretty lardy by the end of the weekend. Also, I'm gonna upload some pics from the weekend onto yahoo photos... Website will come when I get stuff up there!

Oh, back to the job... Besides training, this week was spent preparing for all the samples we'll be getting. The lab's goal is to test 1 million samples this year, so 1 million bags need to be labelled. We spent the last 5 shifts labelling bags. It'd be quite monotonous, if we couldn't sit at a big table with like 10 people and just talk. And this thursday, we went on a field trip... Visited some orchards and a fruit packaging plant, lunch and then on a winery tour at Jackson triggs. And all this was paid for, and we were getting paid FOR it! Good times, good times.

I've also finally jumped on the bandwagon, 4 years late... I upgraded to windows xp. I couldn't handle not being able to download my photos to my computer, so I after organizing my computer, I backed it up and clean installed winXP. My computer can't QUITE handle it, but it's holding up the fort for now. And I get to have my pretty pictures on my computer! yippee!

But I think that all the excitement of the changes has worn off. I was looking at livia's pictures from her geography trip to bc, and it just made me miss it... Talking about black tusk, and west coast coniferous trees, and even looking at pics of china town and gassy jack. My heart's been especially sentimental or something. It's not so much teary, but more the funny pangs of emotion in the heart when you feel like you're missing that thing that would just it THAT much better, whether it be your lover, your dog, or cake. Hearing about mark moving to a new place, reading jackie's blog, and cooking delicious meals by yourself has given me that feeling too.
It happened today too, despite today being really nice and relaxing so far.. Woke up 11ish, and made some buttermilk waffles using "just add water" mix. Let's just say it'll take a few times before I get the recipe down. I sat outside on the balcony, watching the clouds float by, and it was just one of those moments when you wish you had someone dear to you to sit there and enjoy it with. Despite the nippy temperatures, it would be a perfect day to sit and read in the sun. I think maybe I'll go do that now!

| feeling: OK |
| listening: The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots pt 1 |
Today's Fotolog: Land of Dandelions

p.s. hehe... which one of you was it that searched "joming blog some" on google? hahaha, so great!

hermit-like

2005-05-15T22:49:00.000-04:00

Hermit-like

I've been around to blog, but the fancy just hasn't struck me... Perhaps it's because I was very busy for the first bit, and then this hermit-like state crept into me...
The first couple weeks since I last wrote in here consisted of my last session of exams, and finishing with school! So yeah, after 18 years of school, I'm finally freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I was still picking away at the possibility of getting a job teaching hang gliding in north carolina and being with my love, even as it was less and less likely. Then was the realization that if I couldn't get a job there, what to do instead. I had tentative plans to spend the summer in guelph, and take it easy, so then I began looking into housing for the summer... And there were a number of options, and I ended up living in a 2 bedroom apartment with my friend adrienne. It's a nice place, and it's been a good time here so far. Moving was an epic adventure that really reminds you why it's not much fun to move... I was seriously sore from moving stuff for days afterward. My rooms is painted in with a edmonton oilers theme... There's dark blue, with white lines sandwiching an orange line, then the lines run horizontally at chest height all the way around the room. And the door has an oilers logo on it. it's quite funny, actually. if you want, the people I'm subletting from have pictures on the net... Check it out here It's a bit sparse in the pictures, but I've since spruced up the place with posters, and i'll post them if my camera ever decides to cooperate with my computer... arghhh...
One thing about this place is that like last year, there's floodlights shining INTO MY ROOM!!! grrr... you'd think that being on the top floor (7 of 7) would make you impervious to such things, but no, it turns out that the floodlight is right beside my window, and it shines in, quite (un)nicely..

In terms of jobs, I'm actually starting work tommorow! I've seriously lucked out... I talked to my friend Jen, who had a job in guelph last summer... and she recommended me to her bosses, and it was surprisingly smooth sailing, with application to interview to job offer done and doner in just under a week or so!! So I'll be working as a student assistant, working with Lab services division at the University.. Basically, I'll be prepping and subsampling plant tissue sent to the lab from all over the province, to test for plum pox virus, this nasty that affects stone fruit species like peaches, apricots, etc.... It's such a good first step, especially for my degree... especially getting the technical lab skills that you only get half-assedly in school, and is so hard to get for a job...

So basically my life has been put into some sort of order (at least for the summer), and i've just sort of been basking a bit in it... waking up late, just taking it easy. I've taken some to organize the roughly 60 gigs of data on my computer... all my photos, text files, movie files, etc, etc. ad naseaum. I dunno, it's been some sort of catharsis of sorts... sort of a cleansing kind of activity for my mind... revisiting some old memories on my computer and in my life... so that i can move on properly... in a way, it's kind of fitting, and it's helped give some sort of closure to my time in university..
I think that it's also let me not think about being apart from Katie... The thought of being from her for 6 months is unreal... I guess we've done 4 months apart before, but 6 months is another thing altogether. And I think one of my "coping mechanisms" from this kind of stuff is to sort of shut myself off from things, and to immerse myself in something. This things appears to be my computer, and organizing everything I can on it... I keep telling myself it's because I need to do this in order to reformat my computer, and install windows XP so that my camera can download my pics to my computer, but in some ways, I'm not sure I believe it. I keep telling myself that I want to wean myself off from the computer, and I'll do it once I organize my computer... but is it something that can even be done?
Anyways, i think it's almost time to think about turning in for the night... I need to start off my first day of work right! In some ways I'm slightly worried... supposedly it's going to be a pretty social job, and I'll get to meet lots of other students... What if I stay hermit-like, and don't want to talk to them?? what if I hate working a 9-5 job?!? Because frankly, I've never had one of those... I've had part time jobs where I worked over 40 hours a week, cuz it was shift work and i was covering shifts... and I've worked as an RA, where you're essentially on call 24-hours a day... but never a job with such a set routine...
So we'll see how much I like that, eh?
I'll keep y'all posted!
Wish my luck on my first day of work!

| feeling: apprehensive |
| listening: Bob Marley - Concrete Junglel |
Today's Fotolog: A picture of where I was born

Have I forgotten how to enjoy it?

2005-04-17T03:35:00.000-04:00

Have I forgotten how to enjoy it?

These are supposed to the be the years of my life that I remember for the rest of my life... The happy carefree days. But why don't I remember the last day in the recent past that I truly enjoyed myself? I hear about the people having bbqs, getting sunburns, and frolicking about outside, and I wonder why my heart still feels like winter.

Between getting googly-eyed over regulations of getting a US work visa, and studying bioactivity of pesticides, I can't really recall a day since exams have started that I haven't been stressed out over something. I've been on such a rollercoaster ride with my quickly fading potential job teaching foot-launched hang gliding at North Carolina, and spending my days being a beach bum and with Katie... I had gotten such good vibes from the place I wanted to work at. They had basically hired me, and told me to start the work visa application process. And then it's essentially hit me like a solid wall of bureaucratic red tape.
I've never read regulation that has been so ridiculously incomprehensible. There is stuff that is easy on the eyes, but the stuff that isn't, WATCH OUT! It's enough trouble for a university student of a english speaking country... I'm just trying to imagine how someone with little or no english language abilities is supposed to wade through this quagmire of words. And they try to suck me for all the money they can get... calling their help hotline costs $2.25/min.. i've spent at least 10 minutes on that stupid thing... time and money i'll never get back again.

So after getting all worked up reading these regulations, I'm getting worried over getting an appointment at the embassy in toronto in time. There's a 42 day wait, and they take a hefty $100 nonrefundable visa application fee that must be pre-processed.. but after calling the $2.25/min hotline, I figure out that that for most canadians, you shouldn't have to book an appointment with the consulate to get any type of visa, in usual circumstances. Just have all your documentation and head right on over to the border port-of-entry... So great, I think to myself... No $100 pre-paid application fee, and no 42 day wait to get my appointment to apply for a visa. Then I narrow down the list of categories of work visas that I need to apply for to two kinds... (there's over 20), and give it to my employer, to see what they think. Apparently they can't do either of the categories... they're not certified for it, or something...

Then they suggest I go for an "exchange visitor" visa... To get one of these, I need to go through a "sponsoring" organization, and they like to take a good $500 fee for their services... At which point, I'm essentially in the hole, in terms of earning any money. As well, most of these organizations will only give 4 month visas (as opposed to the 6 months I would ideally like), and they take like almost 8 weeks to process my application, and lastly, want me to be a returning student in the fall. none of these things work out for me...

So the moral of the story is that I think i'm essentially fucked, in terms of getting this great job for the summer, partly because I didn't figure it out earlier, and partly because of the fuckin paperwork both me and the employer are subjected to.
To get a temporary worker visa, my employer would have to prove that they've advertised, and offered the position to american workers, before technically being allowed to offer me the job. They also have to jump through so many hoops... and paying money just to get me to work for them... and I don't really it's fair for them to have to do that. but I do want the job...

Sorry about that being COMPLETELY INANE... but that's basically been the bane of my existence thsi past while. And just today, I realized that I most likely won't be getting this job... and hence I will need to now start looking for jobs in ontario, as well as a place to stay. It's worrisome that I got so excited over this hang gliding job, and now that it's fallen through, I don't have a really developed backup plan.

I've found some potential job leads that could be good, in guelph... One of them was due on april 13th, but I'm going to try applying for it anyways. It looks like a REALLY sweet job... basically doing research on old heritage buildings.
So it's been a bit hard to concentrate on the two exams that are looming ominously for monday. and a chemistry and a history exam to boot. Talk about switching mental gears... and I was so set on being able to spend the summer with Katie, and suddenly, I probably won't be, and I feel like every moment with her is so precious, and I can never have enough of them...

So yeah.. such are the tribulations of being a 22 year old. happy belated birthday to me...

p.s. I did have a good time on my birthday though! I went to Carden St. Cafe, the place I went for my birthday in first year. It's like I've come full circle or something. Too bad so many good friends couldn't make it because of exams. I guess that's the way the price you pay for being an Aries in University. Then we went home and ate the cake that my roomies baked me... mmm, chocolate caramel cake with skor bits... and proceeded to play card games. good times, good times...

as the future unfolds, I look back

2005-04-10T23:40:00.000-04:00

as the future unfolds, I look back

so. i've officially gone to my last lecture as an undergraduate, since last friday.. it's a strange feeling, that i don't think has hit me yet... no more scrambling to class, or straining to stay awake as the professor describes describes microbial degradation of PCBs, or straining to see from the back of the class when i arrive to class late. Just nothing. Pure, unadulterated freedom to essentially do anything i want, and frankly, I think it is a little frightening.

The past few days, I've been trying to get myself to bed at an earlier hour, as well as giving my body the sleep it needs.. i've been sleeping a good 10-12 hours the last little while. and while it's been nice, i think, it might be a lost cause, since i've determined i have the sleep debt equal to the debt of a small developing nation... but it's nice not to wake up to the blaring noises of my alarm.

Besides this, there has been kind of exciting stuff happening in my life... After contacting some people, it seems that I have a decent chance for a terrific summer job. It's in the States, in North Carolina... and get this... teaching hang gliding!! it's not going to be high-altitude stuff, but just running down a sand dune, and being like 3-5 feet above the ground for most of the time. But I'll get to be somewhat near Katie, get to learn hang gliding, decently priced employee housing, get into shape, work outside all day, and then go be a beach bum for the rest of the day. It's not high paying, but really, I can't think of what better way there is to spend a summer, after almost 18 years of being trapped by a routine of schoolwork... The only thing in the way at this point, is the lack of a work visa to be allowed to work in the US legally. I had a short talk with the guy, and he seemed to be interested in having me work for him, and he seemed understanding of my situation of being a Canadian needing a work visa, so it was a good sign, for sure. I've never actually hang glided before, but they have a training program where they can teach me to glide, and to teach it to others, so this is a really exciting prospect that i hope comes to fruition.
So that's been the big excitement in my life these days...
Other than that, work has been cramming itself down my throat for the last week of school. I had the cursed 4th year colloqium project due, which we managed to finish on time. 77 pages of group work that i dunno if i could look at again...
This was followed by a poster presentation to our real life client, and then my last "enviro sci end of semester bash", where many people proceeded to drink themselves into oblivion and silliness. As I had a final exam the next day, I was not as priveleged to do so, but instead headed home early to read over my notes. The exam the next day was actually a piece of cake... a 1/4 of the questions were taken straight from the midterm, and i feel like i could have gotten 70% without studying, so i have a good feeling about it.

but yeah, i feel like there's a weight that has been lifted off my chest, just from having a direction, in terms of where i'd be going after graduating... For the longest time, I couldn't even start finding places to live, since i didn't know where my job search was going to lead me. and suddenly, it seems like things are kind of falling into place. I feel like as long as I put my will into it, things can work out. I had such doubts that I would get hired, but all I had to do was ask, and I hope that this momentum is with me for the work visa application.

Tommorow shall be a day of work, I think. lots of stuff to get into order:

my work visa: what type to apply for, making a list of the documentation i need for ti
making reservations at Carden St. Cafe for my birthday, on the 14th! woohoo!
buckling down and starting my exam study schedule, ack. a history and a chemistry final on the same day... boofuckinerns....

Ooh, I almost forgot! my family was in toronto, for my aunt's 60th birthday party, and they came to see me in guelph too!! woo, it was exciting to see them, especailly my sister, who i saw for two hours on my stopover in vancouver on a trip from hong kong to toronto. She picked me up, and we went to the food court in Yaohan centre and had lunch. Before that, I saw her in late august, when i left for Ontario. And at this point, I'll get to see them for a few days at graduation, but other than that, I don't really get to see them until possibly october or so... But yeah, my aunt's 60th was great! giant cake, balloons, pranks, presents, games and even powerpoint presentations chronicling her life. I hope that when and if i get that old, I can take all of life with such grace and laughter.

So yeah, i'm so close to the end these days, i can scarcely believe it. Even as I begin the start packing up all of the stuff i've collected over the past 4 years, i can't really comprehend that I'll be leaving this place for good. no more catching the 52 university kortright bus, going to the farmer's market, or going to any of the excellent restaurants and the quaint downtown that is guelph. no more walking on the cow path, doing trick or eating on halloween, or attending the raucuous house parties at WD40.
Though these things will live on in my memory, in their stead, new and different things will appear and take prominence. Not necessarily better, not necessarily worse. Simply different, in its own different way, but I think I will miss them.

| feeling: excited, but wistful |
| listening: Yo la Tengo - Tom Courtenay |
Today's Fotolog: farewell, biki cat, as you travel to london

whirlwind

2005-03-21T04:25:00.000-05:00

whirlwind

wow, that weekend was ridiculously fast... ridiculously busy as well....
I feel like i've gone through an entire week in this weekend!
I think it all came from my history paper, which had slowly been eating my soul, and resulted in my not sleeping thursday night in order to complete it. This was followed by bringing all the library books I used FOR that paper BACK to school, in this ginourmous backpack i usually use for travelling, but omigod, it was so heavy, i just about fell over. Then I met my friend Jenn in the animal science building, and we ran our duck Darkwing Duck through the obstacle a few last times before tommorow's big competition. then I had to finish a takehome quiz by 12:30... my consciousness was quickly fading at this point, and struggling to control my lolling head, I managed finish it on time. Then I had class, and my lolling head was just out of control... I could hear my friends sitting next to me trying to hold back their giggles, but I wasn't really awake enough to do anything about it... I'm sure my prof saw, in that tiny class of 20..
Then I had to go to my office hours, since it was our last day of selling enviro sci clothing and swag. Katie dropped by for a bit, which was the first time i'd really spent quality time with her all week... next was a group meeting for my colloqium group, which was okay... We're going to have our hands full until the end of the semester... it's basicallya 6-member 50-60 page scientific group report, along with a poster presentation. We're done the intro/background and materials and methods, but we still need to tabulate the data, as well as analyze what it means. Then we have to summarize our results, discuss their significace, and tehn slap together a poster presentation...
Oh, next I went to a meeting to finish a display we were going to put up for the student exec of enviro sci, at College Royal. We had a whole jungle theme going on, with sound and fog effects, fake jungly plants, and a display "showcasing the environmental programs that the university of guelph and the larger community" had to offer. huzzah. So we put that up and together, and then I went to katie's and she made me dinner, yes she did... grilled cheese and soup, a perfect meal to wind down a long day... Then we laid in each other's arms on her bed and talked for like a good few hours, inbetween me falling asleep every once in a while. It was a really good talk, and so needed, with all the crazy graduation and future plans going on... but nothing much really got resolved or decided, since we got distracted by some random things that popped up in our random brains.
Suddenly, it was past midnight, and I had to be up for big duck show tommorow at 8 or so... and I still had to record my jungle sound effects! and send emails organizing all these shifts to man the display... oi... so yeah, stayed up until probably 3 or so... and woke up to the phone call fo my friend jenn, who sounded decidedly worried that i hadn't shown up yet. By this time it was 8:19, and i was supposed to be there, from 8-8:30... And I also needed to finish setting up the display. And I had probably just missed the bus, ACK! So I pulled out my trusty bike from the furnace room, and zipped to school, set up the display, and made it to my duck show in one piece. I put on my darkwing duck costume (haha!), and then we proceeded to run around and be silly, and watch our ducks run away from us essentially... teehee.
After that, I checked out the photo contest display, and found that I had won 2nd place in the experienced section, for one of the pics I submitted for the "guelph category". you can see it here..
but yeah, wow, most exciting EVERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
then i had to go staff the display and when I got there, there was a nice big ribbon that said we had gotten first place for the college of biological sciences!! second excitement of the day!! I also got to have a nice conversation with a fellow exec Sarah. She's interested in like urban land use design like me, so we gushed about that a little. It was exciting. haha.
then I went home, bought $130 worth of groceries, and had wings, some pita and hummus, and some salad for dinner. I dunno what it is, but I've been craving the meat lately for some reason... is it a nutrient deficiency? who knows?! but yeah, good dinner... plus the super delicious smoothie I made... Man, who said I didn't learn anything from working at Booster juice! Oh, then I picked up Katie and she came over for a sleepover! We spent like 1/2 an hour looking through my roommates Victoria's Secret, and laughing at how ridiculous some of the fashion is these days.. good times..
that was saturday...
then sunday, I woke up after having a series of strange dreams that scampered away. I remember something about wanting to go to this yummy drink store they had in HK.. they have this thing wihth mango chunks, coconut milk, and some other stuff... sooooo good.. but I digress. We woke up like almost 2 hours later than our alarm went off, but it was well deserved, and then we made pancakes for breakfast! yummy! AFter that, I went to staff the college royal display again, but significantly less exciting, as I was alone most of the time, except for the mad amounts of kids wanting to grab candy from our little treasure chest. Unfortunately, I didn't have the patience for the other college royal events... There's $1 milkshakes, square dancing, roboticon show, chemistry magic show, juried art show, dance and theatre, spelling bees, the whole nine yards, really... it;s really a great time to be had!
Finally I was relioeved of my duty, and so I returned home, had some lunch, and got distracted by the internet.... dinner soon called (mmm, stirfry, salmon steak and rice, yum!)
Then, instead of doing work like a good little boy, I proceeded to have this really exciting talk with Katie about our near future, and by golly, I think we're onto something, if we can work it. It's past 5am now though, so I think I'll save that for another day... but it's a very exciting prospect, as it's given me something solid to stand on, after being so uncertain of our future together.

| feeling: relieved |
Today's Fotolog: Add caption here

China Fog (01/06/05)

2005-03-17T00:03:00.000-05:00

China Fog (01/06/05)

Ahead the sky drops
into a thicket of smog
as I rush towards the city
where man-made particles obscure my eyes
Past this edge lies
a land of emerald green, a place
that this car, for all the velocity
it commands, shall never reach
as it slows in the viscous air,
poisoned by our human designs,
the air that slowly congeals
yellow brown in the lungs of businessmen
whose casual banter speaks
of hundreds of thousands of dollars
more than the passing cyclist
would see in fifty lifetimes.

Something like this

"I am the rhinestone on a jumpsuit of justice"

2005-03-16T02:01:00.000-05:00

"I am the rhinestone on a jumpsuit of justice"

I just came across the famous entrance lines of Darkwing duck. They're just awesome!
Here's some of my favourites...

I am the smoke that smokes smoked oysters
I am the slug that slimes your beggonias
I am the widget missing from the easy to assemble swingset
I am the fingernail that scraps the chalkboard of your soul
I am the ingrown toenail on the foot of crime
I am the pebble in the shoe of ignominy

Teehee...
Like I said last post, I'm showing a duck this saturday.. Je suis tres excited! I went with Jenn on a little adventure to Value Village today courtesy of my Roomie's car that she lets me drive around. And we got our "sidequack" costumes... At one point, we had debated using spandex, but upon re-evaluation, decided against it, thankfully... and now, our costume is complete! we've got purple bandanas (a la Donatello from TMNT), a purple t-shirt, black pants, a purple water gun, a black cape, and a funny hat (mine has a zebra stripe edge)... It shall be ridiculous and zany...
Then next door, in the pizza time, they were also selling "vietnamese subs" on the side. the most bizarre conglomeration of east meets west... Bread, egg and pork butter (some randomsketchy concotion I think they made up), 3 kinds of ham, shredded carrots, and parsley. Very strange, very strange... but for 2 bucks a pop, I guess you can't complain.

Now I'm at home now, having just started my work at 1am, and am now stopping for a short break.. This history paper be stressin me out... I just can't conceive of writing such a paper, after 4 years of using a purely scientific style, where you cite hard facts, and back them up with your own interpretations. Now, I'm allowed to refer to facts that are common knowledge without citations, but any kind of interpretation, I need to make sure I cite properly... This role reversal is just messin with my mind...
But not much else to say... just busybusybusy. I can see the finish line to the semester approaching quickly... and as I'm getting nearer and nearer to it, I'm realizing how I haven't been looking up, and enjoying my last taste of university for as least the next little while. And yet, I can't afford to slow down to smell the roses. Assignments are piling up, job applications are not far behind either. And all I really want to do is just sit, breathe and be merry. Ahh.. c'est la vie.

| feeling: kinda wistful |
| listening: the roar of the heater |
Today's Fotolog: Posing with my dumplings

can an old dog learn new tricks?

2005-03-14T03:50:00.000-05:00

can an old dog learn new tricks?
well, if i happen to be that old dog, apparently not...
seeing as it's 3:50am once again...
This month has taken its toll on me, methinks... I feel a bit like I've been sitting on my bum wayyyyy too long... Stupid homework *shakes fist*
but yeah... I'm yet alive and kicking for the meantime, but other than that life has been just zipping by...
So what's been in the life of joming lately?
-homewoorrrrkkk up the wazoo!
-entering some photos into a photo contest. I mounted them and everything... Me likey.
-I'm in participating in a duck show for college royal! So yeah, I'm showing a duck. A black one with a red beak. We're supposed to have costumes and a creative team name, for more points, and at first, I was thinking about the ducktators... and our duck would be named Mao Zeduck... But this is guelph, and I didn't think people, especially the little wee ones would know their chinese communism. and the costumes wouldn't be all that exciting either... so for now, we're settling on naming him Darkwing duck (since she's black), and we're going to be her sidequacks.. hardyharhar...
-my computer doesn't like my digicam... It's decided that to mutiny by giving me the blue screen of death whenever I try to download any photos to my computer... So I've eseentially resorted to downloading them at school, msning them to my friends, and getting them msned back to me later... RIDICULOUS! but needless to say, the number of pictures I've been taking has suffered as a result.. and I've had little motivation to do anything with them...
-looking for jobjobjobs, most likely in ontario... Me and Katie are going to try to get a place together, and figure out where we want to go from there... I could write tomes on this, but I'll just leave it at that, for now. Hopefully I'll get a job in my field, and I really hope that Katie does too (since she won't get to stay here otherwise), but right now, I'll take what I can get.
-I scalded my nose boiling lasagna... I was seeing if it was done yet, and the lil bugger decided to jump back into the vat of hot water, whilst giving me a nice hot slap to the nose...
-over reading break (gawd, it's been a long time), I did some snowboarding, lived at an uber-cottage... then I went to toroto to hang out with my dad, and in the absence of my mom, learned a lot about the buried history of my dad's life, his first life of seven years... and about my grandpa, and really got to see how he's shaped my life, through my dad's experiences with him. cool stuff!
-even though it's not technically "in the life of Joming", it's Jackie's birthday today!! hurray!!! *sings a birthday song*
-I only got to see Katie like 2 hours this weekend... :( But we have a study-date in the library tommorow, so I'm very excited!!

on that note,
it is time for bed... gotta practice with ducks at 10:30!

hey, i'm alive, i think? haha

2005-02-11T03:26:00.000-05:00

hey i'm alive, i think? haha

wow, this place seems to be getting more and more alien to me each time i log in...
I dunno... getting back into the groove of things here in guelph has taken a toll on my blogging, i guess... but honestly, what doesn't take a toll on my blogging. ha!
on a random note, did you know that daniel igali, olympic wrestler is running for the b.c. liberal party? and his one concern about running for office is that he'll have a gut... oh man....

anyways, it's going be another entirely random blog m'afraid.. but just wanted to mention some highlights of the last month or so...

I went to my first anime convention... huzzah! It was a pretty good time, but I dunno, I think I found some aspects of the con a bit too fanatical... It's a fascinating social phenomenon though... one of the two times in the year (the other being halloween) when grown adults can indulge in the costume-wearing desires, and buy very cute things. And the atmosphere itself was just hyperactive and overstimulating for me, I think. Call me an old fogey, I guess... Not to say I didn't enjoy the experience... I did enjoy this event called "Yokai wars", where you build a monster out of spare parts and toys... I won first place for scariest monster, btw!! Check it out:

There WERE some rad costumes though... namely Transformer costume that actually transformed from robot to car:
I went to see High Voltage in concert... An AC/DC cover band... although I'm not explicity an AC/DC fan, I have a friend who's the drummer in the band, and it was just fun going to "Aggie Pub" (where the Agriculture program students take over a bar for a night, essentially), and seeing the crowd respond to what my untrained ears heard as pretty good renditions of AC/DC.
Incidently, this drummer friend of mine (Geoff) is also getting married over reading break... Ahh, the song of marriage begins! So yeah, I'll be attending the first wedding of my friends... But yeah, Geoff and Crystal are awesome kids... for part of their gift registry, they're requesting people donate money in their name... how cool is that!
Guelph water sucks ass... I'm drinking a glass of it right now, and I'm thirstier than when I first started drinking it... I think it's something to do with the hardness, but this is just ridiculous! Oh, how I miss my soft easy-to-leach heavy metal Vancouver water. yum!
This year in mid-march, I'll be a participant in a Duck Show! I'm so psyched... I'll be getting ducks to run through an obstacle course with my friend Jenn. How cool is that? We shall train them well, and they shall kick some duck ass!
I'll also be participating in a photo contest in march too... i'm excited about that as well!
The first week of school, I was so good with my sleeping habits, going to bed at like 11:30... but slowly, as the 2nd week kicked in, the time i went to bed at slipped from 1am, to 2:30, to 3:30... *sigh, as I read 3:07am on the clock right now*
I finally used my dumpling maker I bought in Vancouver, and it works so wonderfully.... I love it! So yummy... mmmm dumplings
Ooh, it's going to be semi-formal for enviro scis this weekend... a 3 course meal + dessert and coffee/tea... should be a good time, as we cut a rug on the dance floor. teehee.
For the last two weeks, I've finally given into to my dark desire to organize, and started organizing all my digital photos (roughly all 8500 of them) into some sort of system. It's kinda fun reliving all the moments, but at the same time, it frightens me i've got ~8,500 photos!
School these days is getting crazy... Although I haven't hit my month of hell (march) yet, I'm already struggling to keep up, so I'm getting really scared for what march will bring... at least 2 assignments/tests/midterms due a week for 4 of 5 weeks in march. AH! All this, while trying to decide what I'm going to do after graduation... (i.e. finding a job, figure out where I want to go, figure where I fit with Katie's plans)
Last night, I kept waking up throughout the night, and I'm not quite sure why... Despite that, I had the nicest sleep I've had in a while. Usually, I'm entirely deeply passed out until I wake up, even when Katie sleeps over, and I never really get to enjoy her presence due to my deep state of unconsciousness... But last night, my constant waking meant I would wake up, and be able to snuggle with her that much more, just to watch her sleep for a while, and see her angelic face a bit longer before i faded out of the waking world again.
On that note, good night. :)

| feeling: glad to finally write something |
| listening: nothing |

experiences in hong kong and environs

2005-01-06T03:48:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here in my dad's office at his factory in China... they just had their year end celebration, which included shooting hoops for cold hard cash (50-100 in chinese currency, singing kareoke, and picking up prizes... It was such a rush watching everyone put their hands into the box to pick out the piece of paper telling what they had just won... The expression on their faces was just so priceless.. they were almost all happy expressions... some were because they had won something good (a tv), but some because they had won soemthing useful, but entirely silly (a bucket). people were only supposed to get one shot at sinking a basket, but I saw a few people go 3, 4, and even 5 times...
I just wonder what people's stories are sometimes... are they trying to earn money to feed their babies? or are they being greedy? Who knows...
I feel rather awkward here... I feel like i'm in a communist revolution story.. where the proleteriat (sp?) are prone to revolt at any moment, except that the workers are happy.. but it's just weird..

Last night, I went on a journey through time... I went to places important in my history... we went past my birthplace at the baptist hospital in kowloon city, and past my dad's old neighbourhood in sai yee street, even though it's been torn down and rebuilt into much taller apartment buildings... he didn't really tell me where exactly he played tag or anything, but he reminisced on where the chinese doctors used to be, and restaurants that used to be really busy in the days of his youth...
It was a good time. I also finally jumped on the bandwagon, and got a mp3 player... woohoo... now i can actually listen to all the music i have on my computer ~~in the comfort of...~~ outside.
well, dinner awaits, so it is time to bid adieu!

greetings from hong kong!

2005-01-04T11:04:00.000-05:00

Greetings from Hong Kong!
Well, I've got a few moments right ebfore bedtime, so I thought I would drop in here, and drop a few lines... I'm still alive and kicking here... Hong Kong's been treating me well, even though if it's been a tad bit cold... It was like 8-10C the first week... and it's usually 20C or so... so there's been like cold weather warnings over town, and i've had to buy a poofy jacket to keep myself warm.
Like japan, it seems like all of Hong Kong is one huge mall! I don't think I'll ever really get used to the hyperconsumerism that typifies these cities... It's been seven years since I've been back here, and I feel like grown a lot since I was last here, just in terms of my ability to perceive the city as a whole... how people act, live, and love.
Perhaps a lot of this comes from the fact that even while I'm surrounded by people pretty much all day long, I don't really get a chance to interact much, and it's allowed me to just sit and watch people more... People aren't nearly as keen on making any sort of eye contact, or smiling... it could be a Canadian thing, but maybe it's simply a matter of being in such a densely populated place. I've also realized that besides the one call I had with Katie before new years(her time), I think I haven't had a conversation in English in almost a week and a half. I've watched TV programming in English, and written in English, but I haven't actually talked to anyone in English. Now that I really think about it, besides my same-age aunt and uncle that my family visited in China for two days, I haven't actually connected with anyone within 5-7 years of my age. So in a sense, it's been kinda lonely, because as loving as my parents are, and despite how much I know they care for me, they aren't the best people to have any deeper kinda of conversation with, which is what I think I need right now. But for the most part, I've been keeping busy enough not to really notice it too much.
Ironically, given my loneliness, I've also been feeling like I need some personal space and time, just because I am just used to having it for most of the year, and being in massive crowds by day, and with parents at night doesn't give me enough of it.
I think I miss all of my friends a lot right now... I was at dinner with my dad's friends the other night, and they started reminiscing about their past, and were talking about how long they've known each other... For some of them, they've known each other since grade 3 and 6... and they're getting into their 50s and 60s now... and I really hope that I can do the same when I reach that age.

I don't realy have time to blog all night, so I think I'll do a recap of the past week or so...

I had a family reunion dinner with peeps on my dad's side. I was the youngest one there by like 8 years, but it was good to see all of them again, and I think I'm able to relate with some of my cousin's to some degree, so I'm glad
My cousin Patrick just got engaged with girlfriend Ronnie of 2.5 years, and it's really interesting to see where I am in life right now, and where someone a few years down the line is at... I think I've also gained a better understanding of what a Chinese family is like, or just any family, and how they play into the marriage of two people.
New Years was spent partying it up with relatives, at a yacht club my uncle is privy to, where I won a big bottle of champagne, to share with all my relatives, and we had a fancy buffet dinner, and where the DJ was this overly enthused middleaged caucasian, and prone to adding his own "touches" to his songs... like huskily saying "oh yeah" into the microphone during songs, and playing bad remixes of top 40 hits. His playlists were burned onto CDs, and it seemed like he had even included his vinyl scratches on his CDs... He was also a bit creepy... he kept telling "the ladies" to drink more champagne, and said stuff like "I was told this song was inappropriate, but I'm going to play it anyways", to Hot in Here, by Nelly.
I went to Maoming, a city in the western side of Guangdong province, an 8 hour train ride west of hong kong, to visit my step-grandma, and her children (my aunt and uncle), and also, the resting place of my grandparents (on my dad's side). We had a "afterworld money" burning ceremony, to offer them money, and we burnt over like 15 billion dollars in afterworld money, as well as a couple blank cheques, and some ATM cards. we didn't do any blingbling cars or fancy clothes this time. heh.
Unused to the use of animal oil rather than tamer vegetable oil, I got nice and sick right before we left maoming, and I expeled numerous times. Let's just leave it at that.
Then we went to Shenzhen, which is the equivalent of Bellingham, for you West-coasters... and for you east-siders, maybe it's sorta like niagara falls? It's basically shopping heaven... You can get DVDs(pirated, of course), for under $2 a piece. I shoulda bought a bit more, but it's easy to get carried away spending, espeically when you have to convert back to Canadian... $180 RMB (Chinese dollar) is about $30... so it's not a whole lot, but when you kepe buying little things, it adds up quickly!
I brought my camera in for repairs, and it cost me many a shiney dollar... But it'll have a nice pretty casing, as well as a full set of screws... huzzah!
I also got my HK identity "smartID" card.. It's basically my form of identification when in HK. It's got like fingerprint information, holograms, and even a computer chip! tres Orwellian, but kinda nifty...
I've been taking lots of pretty pictures, but haven't had the chance to download any to a computer, and now my camera's in for repairs, so no luck there either. I also brought my dad's shiny auto-focus SLR, and I've been playing around with the manual settings, and it's been a fun time with that as well! So no pictures for now... but as soon as I get access to my camera again... ooh, there's a chance I'll get my hands on my dad's digicam, and trade with him... it's the next generation of my camera. all spiffed out, and everything! funfunfun!

Anyways, it's late now... i should turn the lights out so my parents can sleep in peace.
Good night everyone! (or morning, depending on where you are) I hope you all had a happy new year!

and i'm off!

2004-12-26T03:40:00.001-05:00

and i'm off!

well, exams have come and gone with the end of a semester that seemed to zip by ever so quickly... it was a good time, even if it had a few rough spots..
I did pretty well in most of my exams except for one, which I REALLY am hoping to pass. I needed 44% to pass the course... And as nice as Guelph is, I DON'T want to come back for a victory lap, just to take one course.

Anypoo, I've had such a good time back in Vancouver, just seeing my friends and family. It's been so crazy, being back in vancouver for only a week, and then jetting off to hong kong for a couple weeks with my family.
Really though, whenever I come back, it always feels good, just catching up with people. Even though people have changed over the last few years, it feels like we can just pick up whereever we left off, and this year, I've been able to embrace how people have changed and enjoy it, rather than get bummed out by how people have changed and grown together, while I haven't had the opportunity to also grow with these terrific people. I've also realized how much I enjoy the parents of my friends. I guess I've never really thought about them much, but I guess I've talked to some of them this week in vancouver, and it makes me want to one day become the kind of parent who cares about their children's friends like they do.

Christmas this year was nice, if not a bit low-key. My sister is at Dave's parents place in Colorado, so it's too bad that I didn't get to see her more than all of the 2 hours at the vancouver airport, due to a big fiasco with flight scheduling. She seemed to be psyched for the Doraemon DVDs I got her for x-mas, so i'm glad! my family seemed to enjoy the presents I got for them , so I'm a happy camper! :) my dad, I got this hardcore 3-second wine bottle opener, which has to be seen to be believed, and my mom seemed to have fun with the battery powered pedicure kit I got her.

I was going to write more, but my thoughts are escaping me right now. My mom keeps distracting me, telling me to go to bed, and about packing and everything... Aw well, it IS a good idea to be all prepared for Hong Kong.
I think I'm pretty excited to go... It hasn't really hit me yet, I think... I think that it'll be rad to be there, and to see how it's changed over the last 7 years since when I last went there. And I'm hoping it'll be a good time for some introspection, with the end of the year, and the imminent start of a new life (after pending graduation). I just need to do some thinking and soul searching... Hopefully I'll have some time for myself. I love my parents to bits, but I'm just starting to feel my mom getting a bit overbearing after a while with her. It's mostly the excitment/stress of travelling that tends to do it to her, I think.
And my dad told me to try to check out the job market in Hong Kong for environmental careers... Apparently it's starting to take off there, and one of my dad's friends know someone that has a good job there... she sounds like she worked her way up to environmental officier or something over a couple years, and she's making REALLY good money too... I think it's $120K! and apparently, excellent chinese communication skillz aren't mandatory, and english would probably do fine. So that's a veery good sign. just one of many possibilities, of course...
Anyways,
must go bed... getting braindead.
I hope everyone had a very merry christmas, and that you'll all have a most fantastic new year! :)
Cheers to the new year!
I'll try to post when I get to Hong Kong, but no promises! :D
| feeling: tired |
| listening: tick tock of the clock |

cabin fever

2004-12-12T22:23:00.000-05:00

cabin fever

Exams have been in full swing these days, and it's been a big crazy. priorities and timeee management! argh...
but yeah, it was a snowstorm earlier today... kinda crazy.
just a quicky, perhaps...
Last night I went to my friend kevin and christina's house and some other envirosci kids (dear, aisha and shirley) to get together one last time before the end of the semester... I was thinking there'd be more people, but it was a really good time. we all had some drinks, and got tipsy, and then we walked downtown on the icy sidewalks. We were loud and raucous, and then we saw some pervy guys in santa claus costumes that budged in front of us in line into Doogie's. As usual, some classic tunes were playing there, and it was a smashing good time. I guess I had to go out at least once this semester... :p It really is a far cry from last year when i went out at least once every 2 or 3 weeks... I took the bus to the UC with dear, since she was going back to the university, and it was nice talking to her for a little bit, as we got some Sun suns (good drunk chinese food, bad sober chinese food), and sat around waiting for the bus. I haven't seen her pretty much all semester, except during the required 4th year colloqium course, when i was physically in the same room as her. Just talked of how fast time has gone by, and how graduation was looming (hopefully), as I'm sure it dominates most minds of people in 4th year. Then Dear got off at her bus stop in front of East village, and then I saw Adam, a fellow ESSE member, and since the bus didn't take us to our homes, we decided to just slip and slide our way home.
As much as I probably shouldn't have gone out late that night, I think that it was cathartic, and did me some good. That said, I've not been studyong well most of today, which is a bad sign.
Anyhoo I've done 3 exams so far.. spanish (ridiculously easy), soil microbiology and biotechnology (seemed to go well), and microbial processes in environmental management (pretty rough... I hope i passed the course)
Two more await me on monday and tuesday... landscape ecology, and biology of polluted waters. augh... the misery never ends.
yeah, I dunno, I think that because I've never had a proper career type job, I don't really think I know what it's like to go to work, complete your shit there, and come home and not have to fucking worry about it, like you have to do, at least with school.. I've had enough of studying, I think. I'm just sick of holing myself away for two weeks at the end of the semester trying to forcefeed my brain with knowledge.
In other news, I bought books online for the first time! with my last x-mas chapter gift card.. it was pretty exciting. Cuz I got two graphic novels for basically 4 bucks (damn that shipping... It was supposed to cost $35, but shipping and tax bumped it up to like $44... boooo) I'm supposed to get it tuesday or so... So it should be a good present for myself. as a post-exam break.
Ack, there's some much to do in the next week...
I was going to attempt some baked goods for people as christmas presents, so I'm hoping people will not have left for the holidays by the time I have to get around to making the stuff. I also have to pack to go home, and study madly... As well as see Katie, and my friends, and do some christmas shopping for certain people.
Katie and I are leaving guelph on the 17th to go to my aunt's and we're having a christmas dinner of sorts (katie's making pie! weeee!!), and then I leave for vancovuer on the 19th...
Then after that is off to Hong Kong on the 26th, pretty much until school starts again... so it's going to be a wild and hectic time... I'm excited though. :) it should be a blast!!

Anyways, it's time to put my nose to the grindstone again, so good luck on exams everyone!

Oh, I found something the other day... George W. Bush's Resume: HAha... this is pretty amusing... but it's rather scary that someone like this was re-elected though.. :o hooooo boy.

| feeling: tired of studying |
| listening: my squeaky chair |
Today's Fotolog: The pretty house that we built

The Face of Night in Suburbia

2004-11-20T21:21:00.000-05:00

The Face of Night in Suburbia

The nightime darkness that comes with the wisps of a fog
that permeates and settles into the recesses of your pores
A chilling silence that refreshes, and dampens the noises
of the night, the dingle-dangle of dogs on late night adventures
and the muted rhythm of shoes slapping on the asphalt
as they dance around the leaves, the fallen soldiers of the seasons
staring up at hardwood skeletons, their mothers, silhouetted arms arching
against the void of the sky.
Sloooosh.
The rude awakening of the puddles as the endless circles of burning rubber run them over,
slooshing down the empty street lined by the haze of orange streetlamps
black tires spinning past the houses, warm light pouring from windows
and yet for all the warmth, who knows what evils may lurk there
the lulling drone of TVs swallowed by the fog
But onward I plod, until I finally stop,
open the door and step in,
back to the land of the living who are dead
asleep, living in dreams.

| feeling: mellow |
| listening: matthew good band - while we were hunting rabbits |

Update-o-matic

2004-11-18T02:43:00.000-05:00

Update-o-matic

It's going to be a bitter bitter morning at quarter to 8 when I wake up, so I've got to be quick and chopppy... just wanted to say that i'm alive, and a quick update of goin ons that i remember off the top of my head...

wow, it seems like an eon ago that bush won the means to world domination, but it's only been a bit over 2 weeks..
I got the lowest mark on a major midterm so far in university... and really, in my entire academic career, for something that actually counts to my grade. a stinkin' 37% . Now there's one to frame on the wall.
Is it just me, or does this semester seem to be kicking people's asses? It seems like it is to me... it appears that many are struggling, and have such a bigger workload than i ever recall.. ahh, c'est la vie
Me and Katie went to see a part of Canadian history. We went for a visit to the guelph civic museum (where we saw a paper dress with a B&W photo of Mr. Pierre Trudeau on it) and John McCrae's house (of Flander's field fame), which has been converted into a gallery. It was neat, and I now feel a more complete Canadian. w00t!
Speaking of John McCrae, I went to the Remembrance Day ceremony at War Memorial Hall. It was the first time I've attended a remembrance day ceremony outside of ones held at assemblies at Seycove. I found it VERY strange that there were no bagpipes playing, but I guess that's only a Seycove tradition? I enjoyed the ceremony though. :)
Went to Christina's place for a potluck. And omigod, it was the mother of all potlucks. As Erica said "It's sure no rice krispie potluck". Afterwards, we all dorked out and played cranium. Good times were had, indeed!
I was talking to someone, and I think that for College Royal, the massive open house for U of G with tons of events, I shall enter a photo contest, as well as show an animal. Because really, when's the next time you'll get to show a sheep or duck?
I drove an automobile for the first time in guelph! Taeko lets me use her car whenever I need it, and it's like a whole new world has been opened to me... Rockwood, Drive-in Theatre, Guelph Lake, here I come!
It just hit me tonight that I'm currently taking a free elective whose midterm just kicked my ass, and while the content is quite interesting (landscape ecology), how the course is structured sucks bollocks. And I just missed the course drop date. boo.
Pulled my first all-nighter of the semester last friday, for my polluted waters lab report. I'm surprised we got it done, considering we started writing the discussion of results at 11pm. I'm afraid of the mark we'll recieve, because I think my partner was writing about riparian buffer zones as if they were acid/base buffers. Scary.
Katie and I forgot our monthiversary... but subconsciously, we went on a movie date, to see "The story of the weeping camel". Such a cute movie. It makes me want to live in a yurt for a while
2 more assignments this semester, and it will be over. I can't tell whether to be frightened, or disturbed. Wait, they're basically the same thing! I'll be both.
My beloved digicam is falling apart... I feel bad that i've been taking such poor care of it. The lens cover has a lazy eye, and body is missing a screw to hold it together, and just tonight, the lens has an error with it. It won't open!! Woe is me!!

So yeah, that's me in a nutshell for the last two weeks.
Good day.

| feeling: distraught |
| listening: Matthew Good Band - near fantastica |
Today's Fotolog: Remembrance

when the weight comes down (or not)

2004-11-02T01:03:00.000-05:00

when the weight comes down (or not)

Compared with last week of 3 midterms, this week's lull seems rather light, except that it's quite misleading... I should be plunging ahead with a paper, as well as a lab report, but the false sense of security bred by the long term nature of papers and lab reports has caught me... I'm trying to get out of it, because I just know it's like being caught in a pot of water that is slowly heating up. You won't recognize the incremental difference in temperature, until it is suddenly boiling, and you're in hot water (literally). Well I suppose most of us haven't been chunks o'noodle from canned soup, so I guess we don't know the feeling. heh.

anyways. halloween was a good time, for the most part. It was weird being without my partner in crime, my love, beside me as I chilled at a party saturday night, and then again on sunday night. Katie was unfortunately accosted by a swarm of homework, and besides carving the cutest pumpkin ever (in the guise of a cat), and being a good samaritan and helping collecting non-perishable food at Trick or Eat with Chris, Dan and I, she really couldn't afford to go all party-hardy. So after carving the cat-pumpkin with katie, I moseyed my way over to WD40, and a good time was had. Ryan (Shirley's boy), was playing guitar at full force as usual, and people were dancing, and it was good to see the familiar faces, and some new ones as well... Then sunday was mostly a writeoff, unfortunately, as I awoke at 1:30, with trick or eat in a few hours, which was a good time with all the costumes and all, but the long wait where we just didn't really know what was going on, and ended up sitting around for like an hour and a half. A long walk and adventure was in store for me afterwards as I was looking for my friend Anna's house, as I was being dyslexic and looked for 374, instead of 347 in this uberconfusing housing complex, and ending up very lost, and heading home to find the right address. Eventually I found the place, so it was all good.. and more dancing ensued...
I'll be posting some pictoors soon, so keep your eyes peeled.

hmm, well i can't think of how to end this, so let's try this:

A very "special" dictionary. by lily22
Look up:
Definition:	A unit of measurement, the approximate diameter of a goldfish's eyeball, used to measure the thickness of ancient coins.

Quiz created with MemeGen!

p.s. ahhh! US presidential election tommorow!! *scared* I really want bush out of there, but I'm a little scared of what Kerry might stand for... but seriously, the U.S. government is such a farce, in general... While it makes sense, in terms of getting fuckin "market share" in broadcasting, I find it ridiculous that they show election news in "entertainment tonight"... but that's pretty much what it seems like the election has become... just another marketing ploy, another form of entertainment for the masses, with all the real time stats, and all the fancy tv editing, like it's a reality tv show or something like that. gahhh!

| feeling: abruptly writerblocked |
| listening: The Tragically Hip - When The Weight Comes Down. |
Today's Fotolog: reaching for the sky

hrrmmm....

2004-10-30T02:54:00.000-04:00

Okay... I checked my referers, and i'm so confused at how people get to my webpage sometimes...
Apparently, some one searched "Fucking mad website", and I was 2nd on the search engine, right under "Delicious Juice Dot Com - The Website With The Low Risk of Sexual Side-Effects".... ummm.. hrmm... yeah.. and what happens when when you search "Where to buy gourds"? I'm seventh, above "Amazon.ca: Books: Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism", and below "Preparing for Christmas"

Honestly... I'm so confused... what's up with this crazycrazy world?

In other news, this past week has been a bit hectic... 3 midterms... a) spanish, which i have good feelings about, b) biology of polluted waters, which i felt fairly good about, but it could swing back and bite me in the ass c)microbial processes in environmental management: contestably one of the worst midterms i've written... I was the last one out of that beast, but apparently everyone that left that room was like "WTF", and there were actually surpressed laughter, at the sheer ridiculousness of the exam. umm.. yeah, we'll see how that goes.

Today, I spent 3 hours in value village, with some friends, trying to scrounge together a costume.. I have plans to be a ninja cowboy. Right now, I have most of the ninja part down, with a ninja jumpsuit, a ninja face mask and ninja shoes, and i've got part of the cowboy part down.. I've got a belt with a giant belt buckle, a and a pair of jeans... I'm still looking for a cowboy hat, and possibly some spurs.. We shall see how it goes... I'm concerned I might end up looking like a bandit, rather than a ninja cowboy...

This weekend will be rather busy... Too lazy for prose, so a list shall have to suffice:

Saturday

Farmer's market tommorow morning! yay produce!
Last minute scrounging for some last minute costume supplies
pumpking carving with katie & co.
The annual WD40(40 walman drive) halloween partay!

Sunday

Going to Rockwood Conservation area with katie and some friends to take some halloween pictures
Trick or eat, where we go to houses, and instead of asking for candy, we ask for food donations, to give to the food bank! yay, philantropy!
Going to a halloween get-together at my friend anna's house. Apparently she used to be an onionhead as well!

In between all that, I'm supposed to start cracking on a paper i have little desire to do, and get a solid start on a lab report... hoo boy.. But no matter, it should be a good time! :)

| feeling: mild(?) |
| listening: stereophonics - local boy in the photograph |
Today's Fotolog: Life finds a way of hanging on

Orient

2004-10-26T03:27:00.000-04:00

Cimg7320, originally uploaded by vagrantant.

Orient
align my circadian rhythm
normalize it to the hours of the waking
hold me tight in mists of slumber
warmth to carry me through the night

i'm tired, so tired of being tired
waking in the midst of a bustling world
tangled by daily routines of the clock
resting in the depths of dusk
just as the world stirs from inertia

i don't want to look up at the moon alone
even if we see it at the same time
though our hearts may beat as one
apart, their rhythms be diminished

come my love, or to you i go
into arms of comfort, of warmth and peace
no more abiding to timed scrutiny of my academic wit
for I want to hold you, feel
your toes wiggle and the breath on my face

to be restored a place of sanity
pointed towards the light
protected by the safety of your embrace
from the darkness of the night

| feeling: tired |
| listening: clickityclack of typing |

foreignicity

2004-10-24T03:14:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I don't recognize this place anymore...
I guess I see people write, and I wish words would flow from my fingers more freely, unhindered by the shitwords that just takes up space half the time.
There's so many swirling words inside my brain right now, and I don't know how to let it out... maybe i need to freewrite on paper. But i'm afraid stream of consciousness can't even save me, not that my writing isn't basically that already, but whatever. I just don't feel like I can articulate myself on a level where at least I can understand, and really, it doesn't make me want to write much..

Anyways, school has been alrighty.. I've suddenly been struck by a bolt of apathy, and it rather tears me up inside. Midterms have been coming up, and I've studied and tried my best. I guess I'll find out how I did soon enough... and then I can have another 3 midterms up the wazoo... Yippee yah yay...

But yeah, I think maybe I'm just feeling funny, because I just don't know how to deal with it right now... you know.. the f-word.
F-u-t-u-r-e
The word that I imagine is having quite the exercise, running through the minds of all the soon to be graduates this year coming up... I suppose it can either send your whole body tingling with anticipation, with the prospect of no more bowing to the academic gods (or demons, whichever strikes your fancy), or it can inflict upon you a mind-paralyzing blow to.. well, your mental groin. I think I'm beginning to subscribe to the latter school of thought, as I realize that it's getting close to november, and the semester is half gone. and it feels like nothing has happened, yet everything has. I got my appointment for my grad photos last friday... I can't decide whether to be excited or not.. It's like one more certain step to uncertainty.
Is this why everybody seems to be going entirely fucky? Well, not fucky, but seemingly making huge changes in their lives... I know personally 4 or so people who have gotten engaged in the last... few months or so.. Probably 4 more people just falling into love, and another few who are falling out of it.. Relationships aren't the only defining factor is people's lives, but I'm sure they DO rank right up there with everything else...
It is a disconcerting time for many, I guess... In many ways, chooosing the paths that their future feet will walk on... And I think that many of these paths bring huge changes, not necessarily good nor bad... but just very profound.
So for now, I guess I'll stand at the crossroads, looking one way into a path leading into the unknown, and then the other way, into a path that leads to a place where none may know either.

Other highlights of the past few weeks:
-I went with Katie to Erie for canadian thanksgiving, to spend a few days with her family, and took a nice long 7 hour bus ride home, with the funniest bus driver EVAR. When was the last time you heard a greyhound bus driver say "fo shizzle", among many other things
-Katie and I marked our third year together with copious amounts of studying in the library for our midterm, and then we got to spend some quality time together, something that seems to be very rare indeed. But the fact we did get to spend time with each other was really the only thing that mattered to me in the end.
-I went to THE Oktoberfest in Kitchener Waterloo, the land of schnitzel, sausages, beer, and cheesy german polka music. However, when I arrived, it was to a white Molson tent, with lukewarm meats, overpriced beer, and polka music that ranging from the Chicken song, to sounding like it went on a tropical vacation (imagine polka infused Beach Boys or that Tequila Sunrise song by the Eagles) Ah well, it was decent fun while it lasted... Besides, if I didn't go to Oktoberfest, what would I tell my non-existent grandchildren?
-I've decided to cut down on my consumption of the refuse littering the internet, and spend more time on what i really want to do, and not what my horribly attention deficient mind is capable of distracting itself with.

| feeling: uneasy |
| listening: Incubus - Mexico |
Today's Fotolog: shimmering

p.s. I've had the luck of finding all sorts of fun places to upload pictures with! Watch this space!

What I want... (rantrantrant)

2004-10-03T04:00:00.000-04:00

What I want... (rantrantrant)

Hmmm.... this loud stomping in the apartment is apparently getting really old for me. I never noticed the first week or two, but it appears that this situation is getting out of hand. You would think that at 3 in the morning, people would have the sense not to grind their heels into the ground with each step they take. Then again, they're probably drunk, so maybe not. *sigh* Yeah, it's strange, but in some ways, I'm quickly learning what it is I'm needing in life these days...

I met some new people at the farmer's market today. Well one girl Jen is from enviro sci, and I've never really known her well, but today she just bought me this yummy pastry thing from the crazy Greek "cinnamon bun guy". And I met her roommate Graham, who I've seen on campus a lot, but never had any reason to talk to, and lastly the roommate's friend Karen. So yeah, Jen bought all of us yummy pastry things, and we just started talking, and it just felt comfortable and nice, walking and chatting amidst the produce, and the crafty things, and the gourds that are coming into season. The apples are apparently just about perfect, and I tried a honey crisp, which was described as "very apply, sweet, yet tangy, and very crisp". I was most pleased.
Unfortunately, Isabel the amazing pie lady wasn't at her usual stall again (for the 2nd time in 2 weeks), and it kind of concerns me... She's the cutest old lady always with the biggest smile on her face, the kind that wrinkles around her eyes, and she bakes just delicious pie. Me and Katie took the reccommendation of a classmate, and damn... it's just plain good pie. And the pie is ridiculously cheap as well.... It's $2 for a 6 inch pie, and you almost feel guilty for practically taking pie from her for free, because you KNOW that she could have charged 3-4 times more for the pie, and still made a killing. But yeah, the pie lady was not there, and I was quite disheartened to not see any pie.
Anyways, back to my point (which does not concern pie)... It's about where one lives... I'm realziing that I'm beginning to loathe this building I'm living in for the next 7 months or so... I used to think I wasn't very picky at all about where I lived, and could deal with anything... but one thing I apparently can't stand is the stomping heels of someone walking and just loud thumping noises in general. This building is just paper thin, in terms of sound carryage, and I can hear stomping, drunking singing, things being dropped, door slamming, the list goes on... and I suppose it's the vague nature of the vibrating noises that drives me just up the wall.... *sigh* It sounds like people are fucking wrestling upstairs... wassup with dat? And this place is a bit like living in Residence, except without the RAs to bust yo ass if you're loud. And there's this fucking flood light that lights up the path outside my room, but it also just happens to shine right in my window, right through my flimsy curtain, and bathing my light in a diffuse fluorescent glow.
And stupid company that developed these apartments... their workmanship is pathetic... It's like every door is creaky, the carpet the kind that sucks the moisture out of your feet, and the windows are fucked up. And for some reason, my whole room has this faint vibration that starts up randomly... my desklamp or the cover to my room light will randomly start to vibrate. I have no idea what it is... I'm either living on a fault line, living near someone with an uber vibrator, or there's construction machinery going at it at all times of the day. it's so bizarre

I dunno, man... Maybe I'm just really getting old or something. I'm getting sick of these white walls... I've never had coloured walls before, but there's something that is quite soothing about it... and I can't paint the walls... grrr...
I'm just beginning not being able to take this bland crap anymore. I want a home with character... Let it be old and rickety.. let it have funky coloured walls...
Just this past little bit, I've been sort of craving having a place to truly call my own. It definitely feels like I'm living in a rented place, not so much a home.
This place is definitely spacious, but it's almost so much so that it's not quite homey... There's lawn mowing and watering around my apartment, but it's all so industrial, with it's john deere tractor mower and sprinkler that goes all the fuck everywhere including the sidewalk.

There's also just a very overwhelming sense of apathy that I seem to be getting no matter where I go... The other day I was walking home, and across the street was a girl and two guys walking the same way, and this girl did just about the most unattractive thing I think that one could do. Just nonchalantly kick a beer bottle across the parking lot, and smash it into shards of glass, and be so apathetic as to not even look at it. I think I visibly winced when she did that.

I know I'm just bitching and whining, like the spoiled over-privileged middle-class brat, but I'm just wishing someone would care... is that a lot to ask for?

This past week has been slightly intense... not really a whole lot, but just starting to settle into medium-high gear, with a biology of polluted waters lab, and a first year spanish test (which was ridiculously easy), so all in all, things have been alright, schoolwise

Today, I went with Livia, Paul and livia's housie Hannan (like a roomie, but a housie) to toronto to attend the Banana Boys screenplay, which I know me and Livia were quite looking foward to seeing. Seeing as it was us, who else would be S.O.L. when it came to getting tickets. Apparently it was entirely sold out, and so we stood around outside the Factory like fools for a while, watching a chinese girl walk through the doors with her very white boyfriend in tow. Then we watched the small stream of Asians pass us by, while we silently cursed those who had reserved tickets. *le sigh* So defeated, we went to the Friendly Thai, a quaint little thai restaurant on Queen St, where we drowned our sorrow in rice and noodles, before going to another part of Queen st, with an assortment of hippish stores... The Condom Shack, the cannibis store, overpriced clothing retail, et cetera. I dunno... it was kind of fun just looking at stuff, but I think i've become a jaded consumer of sorts.. That place just seemed to bleat "Buy things Buy things Buy things", and it made me want to break stuff. I'm not really sure why, but it just made me kinda irrationally irritated watching all the people blindly go live out the consumeristic mantra. I guess that in all fairness, it's simply the way of life that they know, and it's simply not how I could live my life, I guess.

Then after returning to guelph, I stopped at Megan and Henry's dinner party at their house, and caught the tailend of their dinner, a huge smorgasbord of food, which I got a big plate of... Dessert came next, as did an evening of mirth and merriment, just loud laughter ringing through the house, and the excited chatter of friends.

So there are things to look forward to, or that I'm very happy for. The people in enviro sci with me are all just such superb individuals, and they're all so inspiring in their own ways... Each time I talk to one of them, they'll be telling me how they made their own jam, wine, or chili sauce, and it's just refreshing to see that sometimes, and in a way, it just reminds me that in the end, everyone just wants to be happy, in whatever way befits them.. whether through buying stuff, making stuff, doing stuff and caring for stuff.
Especially the last one. :)

Excellent, the stomping has stopped. Goodnight.

| feeling: sated |
| listening: Gaelic Storm - Bonnie Ship The Diamond Tamlinn |
Today's Fotolog: Standing with my 'rents at my place sept/04

p.s. tommoorow... wow, potentially a busy day... underwater hockey at 1-3, floor hockey from 6-7, visiting katie's pet while she's gone home for the week (take care of yourself, love), and I'm pondering a concert (if it's not already sold out): The weakerthans, constatines, and the fembots... I've heard good things about the first two bands... Ahhh.. to go or not to go, that is the question!

the fuzzy path ahead

2004-09-28T23:02:00.000-04:00

the fuzzy path ahead

I'm supposed to be doing my Biology of Polluted waters lab. It's a frickin pain, because it's supposed to follow the guidelines for submission of the Canadian Journal of Fisheries and Aquatic Science, so it sounds really hardcore. But really, I don't know how hardcore I'm supposed to be with this. It is getting easier as I keep plugging along, which is a good sign.
I also have my first Spanish test looming before me. ¡Caramba! It should be okay.. I'm feeling fairly confident with that.
What I'm not quite feeling confident, is the fuzzy path ahead of me... in terms of my future. I've been doing thinking about the whole after graduation thing, and in this presentation about post-graduate schooling and such, they keep talking about finding what you're good at what you love to do, and pursuing that. And for some reason, I keep thinking about photography... and my heart actually races for just a moment when I think about it, partly because it's exciting, and partly because it's scary to think about moving in such a different direction, one where it seems to be so competitive.. There's also the issue of doing what you love as a career, and what you do as an occupation. Then walking through the University Centre (UC), there was this stuff on like international schooling opportunities... and as I raced around the displays right before catching the bus, I walked past James Cook University, and what caught my eye was that they had a university program in photography... And it really sent my mind racing. What does all that mean?
In part, I really do want to do things with my environmental science degree... really, I do. I'm just trying to find a way to reconcile these two desires? environmental photojournalism? sounds radical. try to revolutionize photographic methods to be more environmentally friendly? ahh, scary... who knows, man, who knows...
who knows what the coming year and pending graduation will bring?

| feeling: slightly giddy|
| listening: Cary Pierce - Miracle |
Today's Fotolog: Scattering into the winds

ridiculousness.

2004-09-26T19:21:00.000-04:00

ridiculousness

Yeah, I'm still alive and kicking here in guelph... It's been a bit of a strange hiatus here. I've been here for almost a month now, and it still seems like I'm still not quite there. I feel a bit thrown into the fray, after running that event for the enviro scis... Wow, that seems like an age ago, but I guess it's only been 2 weeks and a bit. So there's REALLY only been two weekends to catch up, and I haven't been making the most of those at all...

Then school just jumped right in, and I've been caught up in that whirlpool ever since. Two morning classes, 3 night classes... it really does end up taking a toll on you. Last week, I got that sick that's been going around, and I'm still getting over the trailing edge of that...
add in a couple trips to the farmer's market, and a party or two, yeah, that's about it, in a nut shell...

The place I'm living at this year is pretty nice... REALLY spacious, pretty new, and in a pretty good location, so besides the rather exorbitant price (for Guelph, anyways), there really shouldn't be much to complain about... I'm living with three girls, Taeko, Amanda and Niki, as well as 4 cats, Chaos, Pavlova, Jasper, and Biki, and 3 Turtles (Franklina, Luna, and ???) which live in Taeko's room. The cats are really quite adorable, but they can be the loudest things ever, and sometimes they like to eat my spider plant and come on my bed at night and sleep behind my head, both of which aren't so appreciated, as they both keep me awake and unable to sleep. But otherwise, the cats are quite enjoyable... They do constantly remind me how much effort you need to put into having a pet... in taking care of them and playing with them... not just having the bare essentials for their survival. I think that's partly deterred me from getting a pet. I don't think I could really handle playing with the life of an organism at this point, be it a lobster, fish or whatever.

But I guess sometimes it's the little things that count... I wish there wasn't broken bits of glass from drunken kids in the parking lot, or litter on the streets, or shopping carts from the supermarket next door cuz kids are too freaking lazy to push them back to the parking lot. I guess it's the sense that people care that I miss... There are so many nice houses all over Guelph, and I guess the apathy is starting to get to me... fuckers. I didn't really realize until tonight, but I've just sorta dipped into a strange routine, and I wonder if this could potentially be the source of it all? I've been keeping up with my school work, at least making an effort of doing so, but besides that, I don't know what I've been doing with my time...

I've been trying to get myself organized this past while, but I keep on getting distracted by the silliest things, like staying up really late getting lost on the internet, or lost in the caverns of my hard drive... There's so much shit in both those places, it's ridiculous. I'm getting the feeling that I'm trying to search for something, but I don't know what it is, or if that's even the right place to look... just searching... for something... is it an escape I'm looking for?

Everytime I read about people travelling around, I get a bad case of wanderlust, and I just want to hit the road, or something... Reading about Gaia Project almost made my heart hurt... and seeing all the photography online makes me wish i could pursue it more...

But I haven't been looking for a way to get out of that weird fugue, until now... I'm tired of cutting it close to get to my 12:30 spanish class, and i'm tired of being tired with eating with meself (cuz it's really not that bad), tired of not keeping in touch better with people, and just tired of being tired. I don't think that staying up til 4am is helping much though. But I just need to get something out of my system, something that's been kinda festering in there. so now that it's out, i can get on with my life... hurray! I remember saying that I'd try to post a lot more when i started the school year, and so far it's been hogwash, but hopefully now i'll start getting on track. I've got me fingers crossed.

| feeling: tired and ridiculous |
| listening: sarah harmer ~ lodestar |
p.s. I've tried uploading some photos to fotolog, but it's being fucky right now, hence no pics. hopefully it'll be back soon!!

edit: Fotolog works now, so here's a preetty picture to look at!

I. Blur

2004-09-01T01:10:00.000-04:00

I. blur

Just like this, the summer is winding down to a close... a flurry of light, and then it all begins to fade. The vivid images of summer are already beginning to disintegrate in the shallow depths of my memory.So before they do, let me try to remember them and put them down for posterity. Sometimes it turns out kinda funny, like dreams you have and write down in asemi-conscious state. Weeks later, you'll read it and be unsure of whetherthose strange thoughts had come from your mind.

Katie came to visit me in Vancouver for 6 days, and it was so incredibly niceseeing her, after having NOT seen her, for close to 4 months. Feeling her handin mine, and having her warmth with me throughout the day really made me sohappy, and having her get a proper chance to meet and be with my friends wasreally great, as both my friends and katie seemed to get a lot out of meetingeach other. I could go and describe everywhere that we went, but really, itdidn't matter so much to me... Just getting the chance to be with her, whethersitting by a creek in stanley park looking at fish, or going to the comic bookshop, it was just perfect, to be with her. Even while I got a speeding ticketon the way home from picking her up at Seattle, I somehow felt alright, as Iheld her delicate hands with a sheepish smile on my face.

I really couldn't believe how fast time seemed to fly. It seemed that even while we were taking it kiinda of slow, there were still so many people to see, and everything. We went out for a fancy dinner one night, and we hung out with some guelphies that had made it out to vancouver for their geography field camp, and it was like MAD clash of the worlds. the worlds of joming and joming colliding!!! Whoa!! it was good though. Even though people seemed kinda wiped from their respective long days, they seemed in good company.

II. perfect
And another day, we went scuba diving together. It seemed like it was so long in waiting.. Finally getting a glimpse into a side of Katie I'd never really glimpsed before, seeing as we're both in the terrific but landlocked Guelph 8 months of the year. Although I'd seen her dive before, from ice diving in Presque Isle, where I saw her descend beneath the ice through a hole, and then followed her bubbles and her dive light on top of the ice to stomp on the ice above her, and although I'd had just finished my dive lessons diving with some random peoples, I'd never had the chance to dive with the one I loved. And surely, it was a big improvement of my 1st dive outside my certification dives, where I was disoriented, lost, and yes, even a bit scared, amidst the darkness without a light and barely able to see my buddy, and just trying to keep up with the glimmer of the dive light of the other dive pair. Once again, I felt safe with her, as I always do. Even without the ability to speak to each other in words, I still felt connected to her. I couldn't some crack corny jokes, however, but despite that I think Katie lived.. hehe. It was a pretty adventure packed dive though... We saw a lion's mane jellyfish... the stingy tentacle kind... SQUISHY!! and I supposedly saved Katie's life from it.. teehee. As well, we saw an octopus chilling out in a hole, with the poor devoured husks of some unfortunate crabs strewn about. I think we were both tempted to poke it out of its hiding place, but we decided that it would just be plain mean. But one of the best moments of the dive was when we were both looking at each other at some point, and I saw her smile at me. Just a very happy smile, one of those where you could also see it in the eyes. And I just couldn't resist smiling as well, and it was just such a perfect moment, even when our masks flooded with water because smiling made openings in the mask seal around our face. Maybe it even made it more of a perfect moment, if it exists.
That's just one of the things I enjoy about being Katie... Just being able to be myself, and enjoy the small things in life that I often miss. Despite the pouring rain, it was a great time driving to Sea-Tac airport. Just being able to laugh about the stupidest things, like a street called Chuckanut Drive, and about dropping my cell phone in the slurried remains of a DQ blizzard. What more can I ask for, honestly? :)

III. chaos
And after she went through the gates, I drove back to vancouver with not quite all of my heart, it seems. My car already seemed so empty, like something was definitely missing, and for a while I was singing my lungs out to the CDs I had brought, but I then realized that it wasn't what was needed, and I turned it off, to listen to the rain falling on the windshield and the hum of the tires on the pavement, and somehow it made me feel better.
The 4 days that followed were a thing of madness and franticness. There's no time like back to school time where things get crazy with trying to pack, getting all my shit together to go away for another 4 months to what seems almost like another world altogether and trying to fit in spending quality time with the people I hadn't seen enough all summer, even though we did see each other. Somehow though, it can be the time when you do end up spending the best time with people, in terms of being able to have a good long conversation with them, and having your minds on the same page. Really, it's something nice.

IV. and away over yonder
Now I've chilling out in Ottawa for a day or so at my dad's friend's house. It was weird seeing them not as just my father and his friend, but simply as old high school friends getting together... 30-40 years later, both with families, houses, a career, children, and maybe even grandchildren. It really does make you think what will happen then, and seeing black and white pictures of them around my age, and seeing them now just really strikes the point home.I met up with Christina, a fellow Guelphy from Ottawa that just happened to be 15 minutes away when I gave her a ring on her mom's cell. It was really nice to see her again, and to just walk around the beautiful city of Ottawa ... I could really see myself enjoying that place, with its very cute market, and bilingualism and all. It just seemed very fun... But yeah, we walked along the streets of Downtown Ottawa and crossed the bridge into Hull and we talked about stuff, the future, memories, friends and all that. Then and we sat on the porch of a property her parents owned (not her house), and we talked about how almost a 1/3 of my life has been lived (a 1/4 if i'm lucky), and later on about funerals, and how if I died, how my family would contact all the people I knew that I would have liked to come, seeing as they've never met the majority of them. Morbid? Yes... But really, what would happen? Would someone try to contact me years later, only to find that I died a few years back?

feeling: thoughtful
listening: the LOUD hum of the computer

a "proper update"

2004-08-11T04:11:00.000-04:00

a "proper update"

Well, now to our regular programming, since I'm finished gushing about my new blog template... I can be excited about it only for so long. hehe.
But the past week or so I've been a bit sparse... between studying madly for the final exam for my anthropology distance ed course monday, and working, I've been kind of occupied. I think that i did alright on it... it sucks cuz I was going to get to my exam (at UBC) on time, and then the parking lot i was planning to park was closed... so I had to walk to the B-lot parking lots, which was a good 10-15 minutes from Brock Hall, where I was writing my exam. So I showed up at my exam, waterbottle-less, and sweaty and hot... oh, and late. I was roughly 5 minutes late getting to that roomed packed full of... 4 people. haha, yeah, just four. I think I ended up doing alright, so I can't complain.
The greatest excitement in my life is that fact that in just a WEEK, my deardeardear katie will be here. in vancouver. in my arms. YAY!!! I can't believe i've been apart from her since what... April... 22nd? over 3 months... alas, she will be with me for 6 short days starting August 18th. How does one cram 3 months of missing into 6 days? :/ *shakes fist* the tyranny that is crappy airline reservation thingys! Smeh, I'm sure I'll make do with it, and that it'll be the furthest thought from my mind when I get to look into her eyes.
She's told me she wants to go on the capilano treetop adventures... I'm also thinking properly exploring stanley park and english bay with her... go for a dive at whytecliffe park... and i'm thinking we'll have a dinner kinda deal with friends, and a nice dinner with her... yay!
any other ideas to vancouver-funness?, peoples?

Hmm, I'm trying to think of what else I've been up to since my last post with any kind of content... lemme see... (ooh, picture links too!!)

Played straight-limbed dual ball ping pong at mark's house. (yeah, it's as complimicated as it sounds ;p)
Hung out with random strangers on commercial with aileen and mark
Saw a moonset, and a happy rock at beautiful dunderave beach
Ooh, I became a certified Open Water Diver! I can go 60 ft into a water body... hurrah!
Went to Victoria to volunteer with the Sierra Club and Mark... we mostly just ran around victoria, and volunteered a wee bit. good times though... we shared a bed! hahaha. ;p
Got the equivalent of a royal flush playing mahjong
Went to Under the Volcano
Tried to vainly organize the Enviro Sci Rockwood Trip (still trying, but it's hard when your co-organizer doesn't seem to be alive)

Heh, I enjoy how i remember my life from going on my computer, and looking at the pictures that I've taken... ;p

But wow, I just signed up at astro.com, a really neat astrology site that gets really in depth... like down to your birth city/town, and your birth time. It seemed to work quite well, and a lot of the things they say seem VERY uncanny. So yeah, I'm very much in awe of not its predictions, but of what it says about me, from the little information i've given the site about me, as a person....

Anyhoo, I'm off to bed now, work at 11-6 tommorow... there MAY be a possibility of me going on a dive... I'm not sure if it will work out though.... we'll see, we'll see.

| feeling: in awe |
| listening: Pilate - Drowning Man |
Today's Fotolog: laugh at your_elf!

ooh, pretty!

2004-08-06T04:59:00.000-04:00

Ooh, pretty!

More procrastination abounds, as I am finishing up my template... now there are pretty pictures to boot! And even more special is that they rotate!! So each time you come here, there'll (hopefully) be a fun new picture awaiting you!! hurrah!

And if you're a real keener, you can see cheat, and see all of the banner pictures here
But I was just wondering... is this becoming too picture intense for you?
Ah well... my days work here is complete.
Now, if only I could put so much effort into studying... *sigh*

| feeling: pleased |
| listening: silence |

w00t!

2004-08-05T05:51:00.000-04:00

Woot

Hey peeples!!

At long last, my new template is finally done, and i'm unleashing it on the world!! actually there is a wee bit i need to fix up... the pretty pictures await, but that will come very soon! but for now, it's almost 3am, and i need my shut-eye...
and I need to stop procrastinating and start studying for my anthropology final worth 50% of my course mark. eep!
but for now, i bid thee adieu!
I hope you enjoy the new look as much as I do!! :D

Today's Fotolog: Work Shenanigans

flying blind

2004-07-17T03:54:00.000-04:00

flying blind

Well, it's been a while, hasn't it?

My mind has been just a mush of work, scuba diving, and missing katie...

Work always goes on until late evening (around 7-9pm), and by that time
it's like 10-midnight over in north carolina, and katie is most
probably fast asleep, preparing for her crazy aquarium education
programs. I don't really mind working all that much, but it's
just getting to a point of ridiculousness, when I can't even talk to
the one person that I am in love with and have missed so much all day
long. And beyond that, I've barely seen any of my friends here,
or done anything social, for that matter... it's just so damn
late by the time i finish work... well just late to the point
where it's silly to plan any activities, especially after dinner.
Hence two weeks have just flown by, and I've been barely able to stray
from a daily routine of waking up, going to work, eating dinner, and
just go on the computer for a few hours until bed. Sure money is
nice, but it isn't memories, nor is it friendship. I am extremely
priveleged and grateful to say that at this point in my life, money
isn't a crucial factor in my life right now as I'm still not
self-supporting, but really, the money i'm making right now at my
minimum wage job isn't going to make me rich... maybe enough to pay for
what.. a month of rent and a grocery trip?

I just feel like things in my life are coming at me quickly, so many
things I keep saying I will do, and i'm blinded by work, and I just
need to stop fucking around after I get off work, and before I go to
work, and get things done...

Like even at work, everyone else seems to be having a life... going
out, camping, vacationing, and all kinds of stuff. But outside of work,
i'm either studying for scuba or anthropology, going to dive lessons,
or being at home...

Okay, seeing as this is my third post bitching about my lacking life,
you would think I would have smartened up by now, huh? Guess I
still haven't quite figured it out yet, huh? :/

It'll come someday, I guess.

| feeling: fed up |
Today's Fotolog: farewell shoe

early bird

2004-07-12T02:26:00.000-04:00

early bird

Where is my life these days? I went to bed at like 11 on a saturday night, and then woke up at 6am, after dreaming about voting in some canadian election, where I was given a ballot with only the liberals and the bloc quebecois, while there was supposed to be 22 different parties.. So bizarre! I think I ended up ripping up the ballot, for some reason. But now that i know i can wake up early, I will try to take advantage of my mornings much more!
I then called Katie and gave her a wake up call, and we had breakfast together, 3000 miles apart from each other... And we talked for a long time... like 3+ hours! geez louise... it was good though.
Today was such a family day, which is something that I think was really good... I really want to spend quality time with my parents more.. I don't feel like I do that enough... We just went for lunch, and then shopping at Richmond centre... Malls are just too much for me.. my mind just sorta shuts down when it sees store upon store of clothes and shit... I don't think i can handle it!
I finally did get new shoes though... my new balances were just so beat up they were doing bad things to me feet. So my feet are now happy feet. Yeah, the guy helping me with the shoes was really talkative... It was kinda cool... we talked about what we were studying, and our imminent need for careers, and it was just neat talking to random people.

Maybe it's just neat because I've been such a hermit as of late, and i have such little social interaction... I think that my work schedule is just kind of awkward hours, but I think i'm just making crappy excuses. I'm sick of not enjoying this beautiful place where I live... so many trails, trees, water, mountains, beaches, and streets that await my feet, or my bike.
Just need to make meself a list of things I need to get done, and just do them, and get on with my life.
That is all...

| feeling: irked |
| listening: 11:00 news |
Today's Fotolog: Hayden in concert

dorky

2004-07-07T22:13:00.000-04:00

dorky
why, oh why does my site come up when people search "kumon tutor application canada vancouver"? Augh, i'm such a dork.. haha

okay okay, can't talk for too long, i've got a chapter of scuba to get through, and an assignment to hand in for anthropology... I get to do kinship diagrams w00t!
but i guess i'll finally get around to posting potluck pictures from two weeks ago... woohoo!
so yeah, enjoy!!

Jan and Liz

Sunjin and her giant mutant strawberry

Aileen looking thoughtul

Mark cutting his ultimate pie

Mark, Jo and Jackie smiling with their teeth!

Go Spideywebs!

Fun with stuffed animals and dolls! Jo: omigod, mark's eating my judo king!

Genny and Kris chilling out

Steve and Aileen sitting back

Mark looking very intense

okie dokes...
back to work now... :)
Goodnight!

| feeling: tired |
| listening: cheesy chinese soap operas |

where did it go?

2004-07-07T04:17:00.002-04:00

where did it go?

Wow, I had 3 days off from work.... and it seems like just yesterday that I finished my shift on saturday... I guess I have been sleeping in late and what not, and spending some time with the parentals, seeing as they just got back.. Man, they have some amazing photos from china. It makes me want to go there really bad... all of it just seems like a mystical place, unreal and surreal. And then there's pictures of my parents just standing there, behind palaces, pagodas and beautiful architecture, in the mountains eating lunch and sipping tea in a place that probably hasn't changed much for hundreds of years.

But yeah, sunday I went on my first booster juice crew movie night. heh, it was pretty neat, just hanging out with people you've only seen in one setting, in an environment that is totally different. so... much... estrogen... :p yeah, i think it's 9 girls that work there, and 3 guys, including the owner steve... I guess it's not really any proportion I'm not familiar with (i.e. high school, or even just guelph in general), but somehow it was different... Maybe it's that these girls are just more, well... girly... it's hard to explain. but yeah, we went to silvercity coquitlam to see spideyman 2, which was a decent action movie... full of the cheese required of a comic book made into a movie... but man, i think i would be so sad living in coquitlam, the land of big box everything... it's just like a giant strip mall, with giant stores lining the main road as far as the eye could see, with nary a tree in sight. :(

Monday... hmmm... wow, monday was really a blur... I think I spent the afternoon just reading my scuba diving manual, and talking to katie on the phone, which was vewy nice... :) i miss that girl muchly. Just in the midst of figuring out plans for her to come visit from august 15-22... *excited* It's been so exciting thinking of all the things we'll do, places we'll go, and all that good fun. ahhhh!!! I dunno, they're not necessarily anything that is really "couple-y" or anything, i think some of the things could be done with anyone, really...
There's just this weird psychological temporal barrier that makes me think that people would be like too busy to go away camping for a few days, or a short little road trip or something. Although the fact that I AM working wed-sat on shifts ranging from 11-9pm isn't really all that conducive to stuff like going to the beach, or anything of the sort. I just need to take advantage of mornings, and go for a morning hike or something... anybody up for that?

Ooh, how about I give everyone my schedule, in case anybody wants to know...
Tues: diving lessons 6:30-11
Wed: work 11-7
Thurs: work 12-4, diving lessons 6:30-11
Fri: work 1-9
Sat: work 11-7
so yeah, if anyone wants to know where I am, just refer to that, k? thanx. :)

but yeah, I had my first diving lesson today... it was decent, I guess.. I had some troubles with my gear, and my lack of vision (my choice was between no eyewear, and sketchy 7 year old contacts) was kind craptastic. I had chosen a medium size for my BCD (buoyancy control device), but in the chaos of people rushing into the water, it must have gotten mixed up, as I was wearing an extra-small, and could not lash on the velcro to do up the BCD jacket. Then the TA tried to change the jacket, and as he was unscrewing the tank, I think he blew an O-ring, and had to get me a new tank as well as a jacket. Then the rubber snap holding my snorkel to my mask broke, so I had to swim snorkel-less (not that we needed it anyways), and to top things off, my fins were too small, and they gave me foot cramps. I also got a bit dizzy from not breathing deeply enough, but I was a very good student, despite having the vision of a mole, and I did all of my skills most excellently! But my allergies didn't congest me up and give me problems, so that was good. and oh, the air was really really dry, so much so that I was almost tempted to quench it with pool water... ozone treated, not chlorinated... but still, not much cleaner, I think. But who would have thought. Air that has had all moisture removed from it is DRY? who wouldathunk!? But yeah, I'm not giving up hope for diving... the instructor got us really psyched, about how the bc coast has one of the world's best cold water diving, and how southern vancouver island has one of the world's best diving period. so hopefully when katie comes to visit, divingdivingdiving! ;)
anyways, methinks it is bedtime for jojo here. me tired.
Argh, I've got the ramblies tonight... sorry if this post has made no sense. :p

p.s. This made me laugh, but not that it was saddam... it could have been anyone. the emotions were so classic.

| feeling: tired |
| listening: to the computer fan |
Today's Fotolog: flower brothers

weaving emptinessly

2004-07-03T03:52:00.000-04:00

weaving emptinessly

I don't know what it is, but I have just suddenly been filled with a feeling of emptiness. Work is fine and dandy... My parents are back, and have filled the house with their presence. But just tonight, I suddenly felt alone... I dunno, in vancouver, I have many good friends whose company I greatly enjoy, but we don't see each other all too often, with our busy schedules and such.
It's like I have a circle of friends that i am occasionally with, and each of those friends have their own circle of friends(or just boyfriends, or girlfriends) that they spend the majority of time with, or just working. So I sometimes feel like I'm stuck in the middle of nowwhere, amidst a pseudo-circle of friends, and then I almost begin to wonder what I'm doing here... because although I really enjoy this place, and the people in it, I don't feel like i have a network of friends here... simply separate buddings of friends here and there, and whom I don't see entirely very frequently.

I think I just need to get out more often or something... My parents got back yesterday, and I am quickly being reminded of why it was oddly peaceful while my mother was not here. Like right now, she's hounding me to get to bed... augh. now she has gone back upstairs, after telling me that I keep making her mad... and it makes me feel like such a disappointment, just because I want to finish this blog before my thoughts flee my mind. Just no pleasing this woman, I guess...

I have been increasingly had feelings of missing guelph. I miss the familiarity, the constancy, the freedom, social network that seems to have more fabric than here. I really do enjoy my friends here, but it's just like there's no cohesion... and really, I would love to sit back with 5 or 6 people and hang out, but it's like my friends aren't friends with each other, and while I would enjoy the company of all of these people, they would just look at each other and be confused and awkward.

And attempts have been to sort of fill the void, but it's only now (like right now) that I've really realized it's not actually a void that need to fill, but the fact that I've been weaving with emptiness.

| feeling: empty |
Today's Fotolog: Careening

Canada Day, eh?

2004-07-02T03:09:00.000-04:00

Heh, there was no holiday for me today, nosiree... i was working today, 12-6 (holiday hours), but it ended up being almost quarter to 7 before i finally left... stupid closing...
Then I came home, and made dinner while I talked to Katie on the phone... It was really nice talking to her, and just cracking silly jokes. It felt different talking to her today... I don't really know it was... it was like... we really remembered what we were going to say, unlike what usually happens. :p did you feel it too?

But yeah, my parents came into work today to visit me, which was a nice surprise. It was nice to see them... and I'm glad they're back... despite the blaring chinese tv, and the nagging, I think it is nice to have at least somebody at home... Oh man, apparently my parents were like totally ripped apart at the Canadian customs.... the officers went through like EACH piece of their luggage, and was hounding them about everything, and cross examined my parents separately, about all their possessions... even the 25 year old watch my mom had...

I'm getting really beat up at work though... not literally, but I think this job is definitely taking a toll on me... my feet are constantly achy, and my arms are feeling really weird... my left hand is funny when i squeeze with it, and my right arm feels really strained. Ever since my co-worker Katrina told me about how she has to wear a wrist brace now when she's off work... carpal tunnel syndrome... o_O eep... that would not be cool at all... I will see what happens...

yeah, I have found a new template for my blog... I'm really psyched to finally put it into action sometime... I just need an evening to just figure it out. it'll be really neat... *excited* I'm sick of this silly blocky blue thing that isn't even lined up... booo hiss!
I'll give you guys a hint, to let your imaginations go wild..... etch-a-sketch!!! ooooooohhh!!!

| feeling: tired |
| listening: the familiar drone of chinese news |
Today's Fotolog: seven

Food for thought

2004-06-30T05:24:00.000-04:00

Food for thought

At 92 cents a litre, the price of a bus fare-$2-would take a Range Rover
driver only 11 kilometres.
A Ford Explorer would make it slightly farther on $2, at just over 12
kilometres, while a more fuel-efficient car like a Chevy Cavalier could
travel more than 22 kilometres.
A Honda Insight hybrid would cover slightly more than 55 kilometres.

I guess that sort of puts our gas consumption in perspective...
Anyways, I have a bunch of other stuff to say, but I don't want to be up super late, so I think I'll post tommorow... When I can gather my thoughts...
Ahhh! parents coming back on the 1st! and bye mark, have a great cruise! :D

| Feeling: Thoughtful |
| Listening: Jamiroquai - When you gonna learn |
Today's Fotolog: Life Unfurling Ooh, I changed the layout of my fotolog! The blog will soon follow! huzzah!

running on empty... or not?

2004-06-27T06:41:00.000-04:00
running on empty... or not?

I've been pretty frantic since 11:15, when I woke up, 15 minutes late for work... my 3rd day... THIRD!! gah..... so eventually I got to work at 11:30, but it seemed like all was fine and dandy...
I'm still getting the hang of stuff there. I still tend to get kind of flustered when there's a giant line up, or people ask me things that I can't really figure out on the register... but really, I just need to chill out, and relax, and it will all work out... It's all about the practice.
Then I got off at 5, and booked it to Save on and bought some stuff for the potluck.
Spinach Dip? Check
Apple Crisp? Check
Nachos and Salsa? Check
Beer? Check
Strawberries? Check

So yeah, I actually ended up making it back home in time for everything... Most people didn't show up until almost 7, except sunjin who attempted to be late, at 6:30... Cuz it was supposed to start at 6-6:30... But it all worked out fabulous. There was good company, mirth, and merriment. No board games, but lots of talking, lots of eating.. Good times... :) It was smaller than expected, but a good crowd, for sure.
So thanks everyone for coming. :D And thanks, Mark and Jackie for helping me clean up. :)
There will be pictures soon. Keep your eyes peeled. But I've been pretty frantic... not active, but occupied since 11am until... now.

Ack... need... shower... and.... bed.....

| feeling: pooped |
| listening: tick tock of the clock. (dammit, I need music) |
Today's Fotolog: Sunset Silhouette

A shorty

2004-06-25T04:33:00.000-04:00
Hey peeps,
It's been a busy last few days... because I'm EMPLOYED!!! woohoo!! heh heh...
yeah, I'm now working at Booster Juice, a fruit and smoothie bar, and I had my second day of work today, and it was pretty good. I got much more comfortable with working the till... :) but still some practice needed. :) Everyone there is pretty friendly, and really easy-going, and enjoyable to be with. :) And in my humble opinion, I enjoy giving people healthy food, rather than having them pay to be unhealthy... you know what I mean? Sure it's all pretty much food service, but even the intent of the work seems different, and that alone seems to make things much better, I think. Also, we're encouraged to be friendly, and talk to the customers and get to know them and stuff, and especially with the regulars, I will get to know them quite well... But yeah, I dunno what else to say... Ooh... all this juice is making my digestive system go really funny... It's really bizarre... My body is madly to establish equilibrium with all the new nutrients going into my body... Because a sanctioned perk of my job is 1 free smoothie, but I think that when you make a smoothie, typically, there will be extra smoothie, such that when you pour it out, there will be leftovers, because otherwise you can't close the lid... So yeah... we can't let that go to waste... *slurpslurpslurp*
So yeah, most of the day, I actually get kind of full from all the smoothies that I come by.
Anyways, gotta work tommorow, so I've got to start getting better sleeping habits...
starting... now.
goodnight.

| feeling: slightly worn out |
| listening: the hum of the fridge |
Today's Fotolog: Cookies. Yay!

ahhhhhh.....

2004-06-21T18:15:00.000-04:00
I just came back from an interview at booster juice. I can't decide if I have a good chance or not... I was really happy to hear that the owner steve that interviewed me said that everyone there was really environmentally aware. And just in terms of the smoothies that they make there and stuff, it's all very healthy, and I think I would be a happy camper working there, no question.

I asked him how my interview went, and he said i did pretty good, and that he liked my style, and it seemed like he enjoyed talking with me, and he asked me about what I thought about the waste management in this community, and I think I gave a decent answer, mostly addressing styrofoam and what not. I kinda fumbled on the first question about why I want to work there, but I feel like I picked up the slack afterwards. And I was able to learn more about the company, and his franchise, and I dunno, I've read that it's always good to try to connect with people, and let them do some talking as well, instead of just answering questions, because really, I think people innately enjoy sharing with others, whether it be for selfish reasons, or not. But tonight, or tommorow. we shall find out!! ahhhhhh!!!
Now i'm all anxious and stuff... I think that would be a really cool place to work, I think. Although it is a franchise/chain store or whatever, it's in the business of making people happy, and healthy, as opposed to solely sucking them for money. They are also trying to help do things in the community, which I thought was awesome. I don't think I would want to work for somewhere where they didn't care about the community around where they lived.
So yeah, wish me luck!

| feeling: anticipatory |
| listening: the fan blowing back and forth |
Today's Fotolog: Flowers, , from Mikaela's backyard.

Hanging.

2004-06-20T06:39:00.000-04:00
Hanging
My idealism... That's what I hang on to, I think.
I want to believe. I want to have faith in it.
It comforts me, like a security blanket of sorts, protecting me from the sharp light of reality(?)
Perhaps it's naivete, but I realizing that it's almost becoming a battle to keep humanity from taking this blanket out of my hands... And it makes me rather sad.
I've seen it with some people that I know. I'm not judging anyone for it, but merely observing that some have lost their ideals, and maybe realized their place in society and fit into it very nicely.
And I'm not entirely sure, but I think leaving my idealism behind just might annhilate my soul....
The dalai lama can do it, so why not me?

| feeling: indifferent |
| listening: silence |
Today's Fotolog: Clones

Thoughts

2004-06-19T02:16:00.000-04:00
Today was nice.
No phone call from job people, but I shall give them a ring tommorow, and hope that the jobs have not been given to someone else.
But I did go to Cates Park with Aileen and Genny, and we just sat and enjoyed the weather. I don't do that nearly enough, for the beautiful place where I live. Then it was dinner for one at the Greek Restaurant at Parkgate, and then off to Safeway for groceries, just because the life that I lead is THAT exciting. ha... I did end up in there for like almost an hour, I think. I keep seeing people I know everywhere, and I chatted with Mike gomm and Rob about federal politics for a wee while, and then back home. It was already 10 by that time, so it was too late to hang out with Emily as previously planned, but I had a good talk with her. She's always nice to talk to... she always makes me think, which I need sometimes... And I'm happy to see her so happy with her boy. We talked about jobs, the future, and more future, and it's sometimes frightening thinking where I might be in 12 months... simply because I DON'T know where I will be. I have a semblance of an idea where I WANT to be, but knowing and wanting are very different things.

| feeling: Pensive |
| listening: Pilate - Drowning Man |
Today's Fotolog: Handstand

2004-06-19T02:07:00.000-04:00
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Third Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) High
Level 2 (Lustful) High
Level 3 (Gluttonous) Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) Very High
Level 7 (Violent) Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Well hmmm.. If I believed in it, I think I would be going somewhere not so nice after I leave this world. heh.

Digging Away

2004-06-18T04:59:00.000-04:00
Digging Away
After writing my last post, and feeling generally craptastic, I looked up a page on symptoms of depression... and i think that it was only then that it really hit home, and I realized that I had been most likely depressed the last week or so. It just seems like things have been seeming insurmountable, due to circumstances beyond my control (homework in the way of job hunting, where the lack of success there was dragging me down, and both of these "apparently in the way of any guilt-free socialization on my part. So yeah, that's why I've sorta been withdrawn the past little while, secluding myself to my computer, and playing really silly and repetitive games that I deemed "addictive", somehow) Okay, I'll stop rehashing my last post... But I think recognition of this fact is key. I really realized two nights ago, and once I had handed in my assignment, I was able to really concentrate on becoming well again. Today I ran around job hunting again, and although it's seriously getting really tedious, I feel like I might have a few good leads from today. But we'll see. I should be hearing from people from the next few days to early next week or so. So yeah. I've been digging myself out of this rut, and it's a good thing, fo shizzle.

And it's strange how many people I've been seeing recently... like people from high school seem to be popping up left and right... It's kind of weird, but I suppose not entirely unexpected, especially if I'm running basically all over the North Shore dropping off resumes. I saw Kerry Coombes, a very bubbly girl from high school at the Cactus club, where I applied for a job... and I think that if I had applied in April, I just might've gotten the job. The head chef seemed really nice, I would have enjoyed working for him. And then while in the cove with Mikaela for lunch, which was really nice. Sitting on the grass, catching up with each other over miso soup and chicken teriyaki was good for me, I think. When we walked by the new restaurant at the end of Gallant Avenue, I saw Ginny, who Mikaela had a falling out with... It was just weird to see how much people have changed since we graduated high school. They used to be almost inseperable, and I dunno, it was just odd hearing Mikaela say "It's just not worth it", when I suggested that she go and say hi. It's probably true, but I just think it's funny how people are like that.

p.s. Alright, my livejournal has been feeling sorely neglected, so I think I'm gonna start just crossposting again... Copy and paste, tut-tut!

| feeling: allergic and positive |
| listening: Daft Punk vs. Jamiroquai - I need your Love (Q Mix) |

What's going on?

2004-06-16T04:19:00.000-04:00
What in the world is going on? aka rantrantwhinerant

I don't know what's been going on, but I'm just sick and tired of it... I should be doing my DE assignment, but I just need to get something out of me... something that i feel has been eating me inside. I've felt a bit like a zombie this last week.. Partly it's been this apparent unemployability that's been hanging over me like an anvil, a la loony toons.
Frankly I think it's been sucking the soul out of me. It's like everytime I go out job hunting, I feel numb... I feel like job hunting's my occupation... Just going through the motions. Talk to employee. Try to talk to manager. Drop off resume. Get contact information. Smile. Walk Away.

It doesn't help that I can't seem to make the rest of my day worth anything either... Cooking dinner, eating it and washing the dishes after pretty much takes up most of my evening, and then by then, I feel too drained to do anything except zombie out at the computer... and the nights then seem timeless, until I realize that I hear the songbirds of the morning, and curse myself for staying up late.

I can't articulate the exact path of my convoluted thinkning right now, but I feel a bit in shambles right now... I need a way to pick myself up. I feel like if I just got a job, I could break out of this fugue that has blanketed me with inaction. I feel like I can't properly start my summer until I do get a job, when I get some semblance of a routine, and some framework to wrap my life around. It's weird, but it feels like I'm in a entirely different world than all of the employed people I know. It's like they are operating on a different set of rules or something.

I just miss Katie terribly as well... I phoned her from Ambleside the other day, with the rippling waves throwing themselves at my feet, and she changed out of her PJs, and went to the ocean, and for a moment, we were connected by the vast oceans, water swirling around us, and I really did feel connected to her, and there was a grin on my face I couldn't erase. And then my phone died. Just my fucking luck. Moments later, she phoned my phone, and we had a few more precious minutes before it died again. Then I walked back to the car and took off my soggy sandals, and read the letter I got in the mail I got from her that day. It's really strange. As I read her letter, I felt like she was answering questions that I had written to her in an email.. It was uncanny, and comforting, and that has been the sole highlight of my week.
Sad, isn't it?

| feeling: melancholy |
| listening: jack johnson - mediocre bad guys |

ohmygod i went to school, and this teacher guy was like "omi god whee"

2004-06-13T01:31:00.000-04:00
ohmygod i went to school, and this teacher guy was like "omi god whee"
haha. gonads and strife. good times, good times.

Anyways, yesah, I went to take a class on food safety, and we learned to wash our hands, not pick our noses before touching food, and other good things like that. And on the exam, I passed with flying colours... 100%, baby! :)
But yeah, that was barely the highlight of my day. No, it was meeting this lady, whose kid I used to tutor at kumon... and she was friends with the wife of some guy whose environmental consulting firm I applied at, and she said that the company was apparently quite busy. Woohoo!! So there's hope yet, for this boy. *crosses fingers*

Anyways, yeah, Had a wrap with chicken cooked with pasta sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese, toasted to near perfection. good times..

But yeah, more good times courtesy of In Passing...:
"I always feel thinner when I'm tan. You know how black pants are slimming? Dark colors? It's like black pants for your whole body."
"Except black pants don't kill you."
--Two women talking in the produce section at Whole Foods

hahahaha... oh man... that place is great.
Crikeys, I'm cold... and this house is a mess! Grrk.
Alright, time to go.

| feeling: cold |
| listening: tick-tock-tick-tock, of the clock |

darn!

2004-06-12T03:54:00.000-04:00
Darndarndarn!
Wow, I got an email about Harper's comments regarding Kyoto from my friend. The basic gist of the deal, is that he's concerned about the industrial contaminants, but doesn't care about the C02 emissions, and he plans to get out of the Kyoto Accord... Ahh ahh, scary scary man, whydopeoplevoteforhim!?!?1 help!
But the point of this post: you know how people have "signatures" at the end of their emails with their contact info and position and etc...?? I have a whole bunch of friends with all these spiffy ones, like:
Policy Analyst, Social and Economic Policy Development
Cross Sectoral Policy Development Division
Agriculture and Agri-Food Canada
Telephone: *13-***-7**9
Facsimile: *13-***-7**2
3rd Floor, Sir John A Carling Building
930 Carling Ave
Ottawa, Ontario
K1A 0C5

Or at least email addresses ending with "@NRCan.gc.ca" augh... *frustrated* i'm sooooojealous... >| iwantthosejobs!! boo hiss. Right now, I'm struggling to get any job, much less a job related to my field... *sigh* If I'm lucky, I might get a part time job as a general services clerk at superstore... not quite the same ring as Policy Analyst, Social and Economic Policy Development, is it?
what if i tried to spiff it up?
General Services Clerk, Human Relations Division(?)
Real Canadian Superstore, Westfair Foods Canada
Telephone: 604-***-*3*6
Some Street
North Vancouver, BC
Postal Code here

What's sad about that is that no one could possible contact me there, whereas it seems like all of my friends contact info points to here!! poopoopooo *disillusioned*
How am I ever going to find a career job?? wahhh.... should i have stayed in co-op... I can't even imagine where the fuck I would be right now.. How my life would have been different. Would it have been betteR? Would it have been worse? Who knows...
*whinewhinewhine*
Anyways, that's my rant for now. I haven't been up to much recently. I've been shopping for yummy things, talking to katie (rejoices), job hunting, and I finished filling out the application for the enviro sci frosh week event. That's about it. And ooh, the election. I'm still figuring out who I want to vote for, but I'm quite disturbed by the conservatives, and i'm not too keen on the liberals. But beyond that... I suppose I'm leaning towards the NDP... I seem to hear quite a lot from them, personally, but in the media and such, they're basically off the radar... And I thougth they had more than 16% of the total expected votes so far... Vely vely strange.. But yeah, peoples, go vote! Please! but first, go be informed: here, or there.

But ooh, something exciting... I've been updating my fotolog again! It is REVIVED!! So yeah, go visit it, and leave comments!! hurrah!
Anyways here's to finding some work in the near future! *raucous yell*

- fin -

| feeling: slightly disillusioned |
| listening: dire straits - wild west | <-- (huh?)

i'm on a roll!

2004-06-06T06:35:00.000-04:00
i'm on a roll!
*rolls* haha, that joke is so lame, it's so incredibly old, but i love it. But yeah, third blog in 3 days... weee!
Anyways, I'm so stuffed up right now... I feel somebody is injecting pollen directly into my nose.. aughhhhhhhhhhhh....
but besides that, it's been okay... Mark, Aileen and Steve came over to watch the Hockey game... Flames lost, so we're goin to game 7... I'd say more about it, but really... meh!
hrrmmmm.. Then we took a trip down memory lane... we watched the tape inside my video camera... high school nostalgia, road trip memories... it was pretty surreal... just seeing where in our lives we were at the time.. in high school, and even the road trip.... and how our life situations have changed over time.... It's pretty wild to look back.
Anyways, I'm listening to Pilate right now... They're quite good... I'd just never bothered looking into them more, there just seemed to be too much hype around them... but now I see that they live up to their hype. But for some reason, the mixture of their music, and looking at pictures of friends in Guelph makes me lonely... I think as usual, it's combined with a longing for Katie (as usual), and it's a feeling I can't shake, it seems. I can't believe that there's still so long until I see her.. Yes I keep whining about it, but really, besides the lack of job.... it seems like it's the main worry I'm having these days.. I think that almost all my friends have jobs at this point, and I'm doing a bit of a freak-out dance... *dancedancedance*
grrr...
well, well. it's 4am... Gonna clean up a bit, and then hit the sack.

| feeling: tired, and a tad lonely |
| listening: pilate - alright |

Some captions are needed.

2004-06-05T05:26:00.000-04:00
Some Captions are needed for the following pictures...

You can add some by commenting! :)

Today, I went to drop off resumes.. There are a few good leads, I suppose.. Nothing really definite though. I can't decide what to do if I'm offered a job. It's getting to the point where I don't know if I can choose at all, really... like I should just take what i can get now, eh?
But at the same time, can't I be a biatch, and say yes, and then back out of the "less good" job when i get it? I dunno... ideas, anyone? :)

| feeling: itchy (?!?) |
| listening: cheesy chinese sitcoms |

whoa.

2004-06-04T03:33:00.000-04:00
It's funny how time creeps up on you sometimes... it's especially apparent when you miss someone and your house is lonely and quiet. You are much more likely to do something, anything just to take your mind away from the sorrow you feel, when you realize that you haven't seen the smile that lights up your world for over a month, and won't feel the embrace that makes every cell and follicle dance and sing for another 10 weeks. That's 70 days, 1680 hours, or six point zero four million seconds for the mathematically inclined. *big sigh*
It's only been the last week or two that I've really caught onto just how much I have been missing Katie, and how it's been affecting my mood. Bleck. Ugh. Blarg. That's the feeling I have had this past while, and I've ended up being entirely unproductive and mostly unsocial, instead drowning my sorrow in isketch, staying up late, and feeling generally bleck the next ~~morning~~ afternoon, because i've woken up so late cuz i stayed up so late. And so the vicious cycle continues ad naseum (until puking is induced). To be fair, Isketch is a really fun game, albeit a tad addictive. yes, just a tad... *grin* (enough to keep me up til 4am many a night, let's just say)
I feel like life is on mute right now with no one in the house... As much as I abhorred the constant din of the television next to me every night while my parents were here, It's really strange and uncomforting without it right now.. My parents will be away in Asia (Japan + HK) for almost a month and a half!! And combined with the severe lack of employment and exercise, I've felt like a unproductive fool. The employment route, I've tried... and so far it has been entirely unfruitful. I dropped off like 20 resumes all over vancouver, after spending roughly 5 hours in a car, almost getting smoked by traffic twice, and just a whole big of stressballness induced by the combination of driving, searching for addresses, while looking on maps to find out where a place is. And really, all I have to show for it is a rejection email and letter, and a dozen rejections after following up. boohiss.
But I'm glad for my friends... I really am... they help me keep my brain in perspective. They were saying how most of the companies I was applying for probably looked at resumes of Master's degree graduates, and maybe some bachelor degree grads... so why would they look at a 3rd year undergrad? A little bit disheartening to think about, but I dunno, it definitely shifted something in my mind. So now I'm applying at an ice cream store, some restaurants, bookstores, and a few markets. I'll just try to get some environmental experience volunteering. That oughta give me my fix.
And I'm glad for the company they give me... Mark
has been over the last couple days, just studying for his LSATS (good luck, man), and even though we don't say much most of the time, it's nice to feel the living essence of another person that is awake after 9pm (I'll get to that in a bit) Aileen and Steve have also popped by a few times, and Jackie
and Genny have also made a few surprise appearances, and they've all managed to brighten my day a little.
About the 9pm quantifier (yes, I'm a geek), My grandpa's been staying over sporadically over the past week or so... He's a swell guy. Cooks me lunch and dinner, and he fixes the house! Except he tries to clean the roof and climbs up there to do it, and freaks the shitties out of me. Old man. Walking on roof. 10 foot ladder. Baddddd idea! If you want to see this scary scary ordeal, you can, here.
But But yeah, he's a trooper... he goes to bed at 9pm, and wakes up roughly 5am every day for his morning walk. So really, I don't see him for the majority of the time that I'm awake. >|

It's not to say that I haven't been enjoying myself. I've had my fair share of shindigging fun.
I've had some people over at my house for tea and dessert, and I've been doing my share of volunteering, which has been really good for me. Once being on the Green Team at the World Partnership Walk, which "raise awareness and funds for the fight against global poverty", and I've become the Interim Conservation Chair for the Lower Mainland Group of the Sierra Club. It makes me sound really hard core, but really, I'm not. Not yet, anyways ;) I haven't even done anything, besides pay the $20 that I need to, to get onto the Exec. And I've gotten together with Sheryl and Eloise a few times (yum, lasagna), as well as a whole wad of other people who are also special, but shall not be named for the reason that this is not a shout out post. hehe, those are funny.
"pR0pz gø +o Mæ f®i3ndz + h0Mi3s: ß®iãn, MØna... " *gag* okay that's enough.

I think I'm slowly digging my self out of this quasi-rut I've been slowly burying myself into, and things look bright. There's so much to do in Vancouver... I really saw that yesterday when I drove around English Bay to get to Stanley Park, seeing all the people enjoying the warmth... and really, is this what I've been neglecting myself from? booerns... booerns, I say.

So yeah... that's it. Not too much new yet... maybe i'll get a job sometime... Maybe we won't. We'll see. But now, Bedtime. A glorious morning awaits me, and I plan to be there for it.

| feeling: tired yet inspired |
| listening: hummmmmmmmmmmmm (computer) |

Nil

2004-05-16T03:14:00.000-04:00
Nil

Nothing much new lately.. I've been keeping low, mostly. Been getting some more exercise, and getting some time to do some fun things, like read write and draw as well. Yay! :)
But no jobs yet... *sighsigh* Monday will hopefully be a blitzkrieg on the city of Vancouver. I will need to be getting cover letters and resumes printed up properly though... My printer at home doesn't cut it. Blarg...
Talked to Ayesha on the phone tonight, which was good. Hadn't talked to her in a long time... our phone calls tend to get philosophical and what not.

Question for you all: What is the distinction between killing an animal, and a human.

My chinese fortune AND my horoscope has been telling me to lie low, so how could i refuse?
Ooh, caught up on webcomics today.... that was good fun. :)
I miss katie... Haven't talked to her in what seems like so long ago... Supposed to get in touch with her tommorow, so hopefully. *crosses fingers*
Well, I could be online a bit longer, but I'm going to try to get to bed super early... Gonna go to bed after this post. 12:38am. OMG This is truly a first. I'll see if my body can handle bed so early....
Yeah, everytime I look at my blog, it feels terribly terribly out of date... It needs some sort of rebirth or something. Ideas, anyone?
Wow this has been exciting, hasn't it?
Wow, braindead.
c'mon, people, write!

| feeling: braindead |
| listening: chinese tv evangelists |

job description

2004-05-14T14:59:00.000-04:00
job description

title: labourer
description: hauling waste wood from deck and other construction materials up stairway of about 60 steps plus sloping driveway and then placing in dumpster
and the best part?
perhaps some minor demolition with crowbar and sledgehammer
I WOULD GET TO BREAK STUFF! Hehehe
That is all.

| feeling: amused |
| listening: my mom on the phone |

fun and gloom

2004-05-12T05:18:00.000-04:00
This job search dealy is really getting to me, I think. I'm getting quite sick of pumping out these cover letters like mad, and it's frustrating to get absolutely no feedback on the thing, because you don't even know where you can improve. There is consolation... One company I applied to that I got an interview with, they gave me feedback afterwards, and they said that I had one of the better cover letters, so I hope that I'm doing something right. huzzah.
But yeah, I'm starting to get to the point where I'm starting to get discouraged by rejection, and kinda desperate for any job. But for now, I shall keep chugging on.

Here's what I've applied to so far:

Better Environmentally Sound Transportation (BEST): Communications and Events Coordinator
Some Graduate Student: Cherry Fruit Fly Research Assistant
District of North Van: Computer Operator
Magellan Interactive: Office Assistant
Habitat Acquisition Trust: Stewardship Assistant
Pacific Environmental Science Centre: general application
Simon Fraser Public Interest Research Group: Research Assistant

I'm gonna just probably start doing the visits to various environmental companies soon. See how things turn out there. Blarg. And I should just start applying for random service jobs... I think I could learn a lot in such an environment, even though I really need environmental experience, PRONTO! Oh well.

Besides this weight that is beginning to weigh down on me, I've been doin okay. Today, I went for a hike with Jackie(A girl that deserves the very best) to the classic Quarry Rock, and it was just awesome sitting in the sun and chatting about life and catching up with her.
Hey, Blogger has been getting all revamped and stuff... It's pretty nifty... like all these coolbean new features. I guess they just gotta compete somehow, right? with like livejournal and all the other bloggy sites out there... But yeah, they've got a shitload of new templates there, and seeing that I've had enough of this crappy blue cubey template, this calls for a change, very soon. so keep your eyes peeled :D
Recently, my parents have been going for walks in the evening (well... 10pm at night), and tonight my dad insisted that I join them.. I was kinda happy doing my own thing, but in the end, I went with them. I'm really glad I did, actually. I guess part of it is that even though I'm at home a lot, I don't usually spend quality time with them... Like I'm just not keen on the TV, so I'm often just on the internet, in the same room as them. But it was good just listening and talking to them. :) They joked about farts, and griped about the impending trip to Asia, with plane tickets and whatnot. Ahh, I don't always show them, but they're really great, and very cute. I do love them even though we sometimes have differences in our thinking.

| feeling: glad |
| listening: The Brand New Heavies - Sometimes (Monsieur Dimitri's Underground Behaviour Mix) |

Hmm...

2004-05-10T04:58:00.000-04:00
Today was a good day...
Went for dimsum with my extended family. It was good seeing them... Sometimes I just miss that certain Lau craziness... I hope that this is something that continues to happen, especially with us cousins, even as we get older. Some of the highlights include giving my dad a piggyback, and talking to joyee about all sorts of stuff, over ice cream...

Then I met up at Mark at the Vancouver library, and we grabbed some dinner, then we headed off to the fabulous Commodore Ballroom, for an ever-so-excellent evening with Sarah Harmer in concert... Hayden opened for her, which was quite an excellent surprise. He's someone I'd heard good things about, but whose stuff I never had the chance to check out. So that was awesome..
Then, there was Sarah. She was spectacular.. I think I'm more tired that I think I am, because I can't really find the proper words to describe her better. She played an excellent set, and I felt like she connected with the audience... Small venues really let artists to do that, and it's always so incredible. She was down to earth and humble, pretty much how I had imagined her...
I dunno, going to see those two excellent musicians, and having an always excellent conversation with Mark at Timmy ho's (our inescapable haunt, it seems), felt good.. It kinda of filled me with a sense of... love. Maybe more compassion? I just wanted to give my love to everyone, and heal them of the pain and suffering that we all feel. I want to let all of you know that I love you all, and I hope that you all find happiness, in all the ways it manifests itself.
Through love, hugs, a cup of tea, or the beauty of life itself.

| feeling: peaceful, and full of love. |
| listening: Sarah Harmer- Almost |

Ooooo-kay.

2004-05-09T04:43:00.000-04:00
Ooooo-kay.

Well this place is slightly unfamiliar... I haven't been at this screen in what seems like forever. Wow. It's so strange to imagine me still being at Taeko's house (as I was in my last entry.) Being in Guelph seems like almost an eternity ago.... not that a terribly lot has been going on lately. I've returned back to Vancouver, and I've been enjoying the nice weather, my friends and being at home. Being home, while nice, is beginning to get a bit old... It's rough, when you've been living away from your parents for 8 months, and suddenly you return home, and you feel incredibly, incredibly boxed in and caged and whatnot. I dunno, at the age of 21, I kind of feel that I should have a bit more freedom. When I go to bed, or when I shower, or what my hair looks like... Augh... Let's just say it's been a bit of an adjustment period that is still happening. I suppose my parents won't really give me true freedom until I can entirely support myself, which is fair enough.

Anyways, fug... i have no idea what i was going to say now. I'm gonna resort to some pictures to tell my stories, cuz they say pictures are worth a thousand words... hopefully that can begin to make up for the lack of bloggage lately. i'll get better with it soon... promise! there's many thoughts swirling in this mind these days...
So aight aight, here goes nothing...

Apr 20: A covered bridge that I had to pass through, after the final potluck/gathering with kids from my ecology class (most of whom were graduating). It was a fun night, and a really nice 40min walk home... The bridge was freaky though... ahhh

Apr 23: Taeko's turtles warming themselves under the lamp. they're cuties... I stayed with Taeko a few days, and she was a super host, and her and her friend Sebastien helped me move all my crap in. yay, taeko!!

Apr 24: This is in downtown Toronto, at night, crazy lights an all.. My cousin took me out with some of her friends, and she was all afraid they were "corrupting" her "baby cousin" haha... good times.

Apr 25: At the spankin new airport terminal at toronto.... It's spiffy, huge, and sterile. yay. Did i mention I despise the commercialization of airports? It's sad that it's neceesary cuz of fundage, but to whore themselves out such that they force visitors to pass through the duty free. That's the last straw!!! *grrrrrr*

Apr 25: The day I got back, for dinner I went for.... SUSHI!! what else does one get in Vancouver? :p

Apr 26: I went to Jericho Beach with my friend Siu-Hay for her Pharmacy Class BBQ... it was a good time... volleyball, chatting, food, people, and the beautiful beautiful sun... I even got sunburnt on my face that day... I haven't been in such a long long time!!! but after 5 hours in the sun, it's only expected?

Apr 26: This is why I love my friends. They're so silly and fun!

Apr 27: Dimsum in Vancouver, in a badly stitched together picture

Apr 28: Went to the dentist, and found to have 2 cavities... Boohiiss... I walked home, and I saw this scene. Walking home, I realized I could be perfectly content living like a hermit or something, surrounded by nature... So peaceful and beautiful.

The next few days don't have any pictures, mainly cuz I was madly writing cover letters... It was pretty much nonstop at the computer, trying to find ways to whore myself out. huzzah. Ooh, I also went to the UBC Film Festival... tres tres cool... And went to some cool eateries afterwards... like THE Eatery (haha), and Calhoun's, like Jackie said, very hip places to be... where else can you get sushi called Captain Crunch, or Andy Warhol??(@ the Eatery)

May 2: This is me, at a restaurant on Commercial Drive called Marcello... beautiful lighting, delicious (but pricey) food, and the giant face in the background is actually an oven, where you put pizza into its mouth... haha!

May 3: The absolutely adorable cat at this hairdresser I went to, who has his own place in his basement. Unfortunately, I don't have a good pic of my new hair yet. soon, soon. :)

May 4: WTF are Mark and I doing? We look like we're emerging from a womb... As they say, pictures are worth a thousand words... Right?

May 5: Aileen, Mark and I up to our usual facemaking... someone PLEASE give us some captions... I've love to hear them.

Anyways, besides those snippets of my life, I've been reading 1421. A fascinating book... a definite read if you enjoy exploration or chinese culture in general...
I've also been reading The Art of Happiness. Also a terrific book... It's really made me think about how I live my own life...
Umm.. in other news, my dad got a new digicam... frankly for sheer power, it kicks my ass... it's like the my camera, except on steroids... *eep*

My Dads
Mine

Mine's still smaller and easier to use, so that's the two advantages it has...
And I had a job interview with these people. Very neat organization... I would love to have this job... (communications and events coordinator), but i don't really think i have the media relations skillz to pull it off... we'll see how it goes.. I'll hear from them VERY shortly...

And finally... tonight, went to Monk's by Granville Island with my family, and like all of Dave's (joyee's bf) family from Colorado... Really nice and fancy restaurant... then we went to his grad art show thingy thing. It was a really crazy experience... so many interesting and neat people there... and the art was really neat. I think I couldn't be an artist... I'm too focused on the aesthetics of art... I have trouble seeing what's behind it, and how to interpret it... but it was good fun...

Wow, that was a mofo of an entry... Well mostly it was just the pictures.. Well, I feel much relieved... If you've read this far, give yourself a pat on the back. No wait, tell me, and I'll give YOU a pat on the back! :D
Anyways, good night to all! hope you enjoyed the pictures.

| feeling: blogged out |
| listening: Travis: I love you always. |

Stillness

2004-04-21T03:49:00.000-04:00
Stillness

Today, stillness has entered my life again. Even though I was running around packing and moving most of the day, in my mind, I was frozen in the moment when I woke up with her by my side, an amazing warmth that filled me with love. I know I'll be treasuring and reliving it in the next few months to come. In a way, I feel like my life might hit a stillness when I get back to Vancouver, but I will be doing my very best to NOT let life push me around like that.

Throughout today, I just wanted to just hold Katie close and never let her go, because I know that there was only so much time before she was to get into her car and take my heart away with her for the summer. I really do feel like I'm missing half of myself, and there's this silence in the void that was filled by Katie.

Even though I'll seem fine, I won't be the same as when I'm with Katie. There is just something different when I am with her. I feel utterly at ease with her, that I can entirely trust and not need to worry about her. Relationships are so fucked up these days... To me, it just seems like a lot of people are having issues with relationships, whether it's having one, not having one, having fucky ones, and I am sooo incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful person to have in my life to share the joyful times as well as the rougher ones. So thank you.
I'll be thinking of you...

I go to school, I write exams,
if I pass, if I fail, if I drop out,
does anyone give a damn?
And if they do, they'll soon forget 'cause it won't take much for me
to show my life ain't over yet.
I wake up scared, I wake up strange.
I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to change.
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
and everything around me stays the same.
~Barenaked Ladies

| feeling: empty |
| listening: Barenaked ladies- What a Good boy |

well, it's over

2004-04-21T02:23:00.000-04:00
well, it's over

Hmm..
Well, the year is finished now. I've left residence for what is most likely the last time in my life. So much mad mad packing... It was crazy... I dont' know how I accumulated so much shit.

Anyways, Katie and her dad helped me out muchly, bringing all my junk to my new place at Taeko's place. Sooooo muuucccch stooooffffffff... But I wasn't really thinking about that today... I was thinking of Katie, and being apart for potentially 3 long months... Wahhh.....I don't want to be apart from her for so long. ahhhhhh!!

I had a decent night tonight... Went to one last partay with the Ecology class kids. It was pretty nuts, just seeing all kinds of people that I knew, but who I didn't know knew the guy hosting the party, complete with a keg of beer, and a bbq, and of course, excellent company. The Leafs game was on, but I'd rather spend time with some of the peeps who were just chilling out. Besides the Canuck's a few nights back just broke my heart. *tear* oh well. And well, I didn't get smashed, even though it WAS my chinese calendar birthday tonight, and more than a few people were apparently looking forward to get me loaded.... I just had enough for a good time. :) I'll try to post some photos soon, hopefully?

I missed the last bus, so I was resigned to walking all the way from downtown (right by the covered bridge) to my place by Ultra supermarkets. It was actually quite a nice walk. Such nice weather, and the walking was really good, just to clear my mind and stuff. :)
So I came back, and futzed around, until I took a shower so that I won't stink up Amanda's (another of my roommates) bed with the smell of alcohol... and now it's time for bed.

Good night.

| feeling: tired |
| listening: Spirit of the West- And if Venice is Sinking |

i should live in fiji.

2004-04-12T06:15:00.000-04:00
i should live in fiji.
Really, I think that's where my circadian rhythms have gone to play. It's 6:10am... I haven't gone to bed before 5am of my own volition in probably 2 weeks or so... Think about it, it would be roughly midnight right now, and I would be getting sleepy. That would be a nice change to get sleepy at a normal person time.. And as well, I would be on fiji, enjoying the tropical weather, the beaches, and possibly the rainy rainy season. Well you can't have it all. Katie's got an internship at an aquarium in North Carolina!!! i'm jealous.. she gets to live in a beachfront cottage!!
Then my parents pull one on me... they're supposed to go to china sometime in early may or something... Ahhhhh....
And I just opened the window... and oh my god, it's beautiful... It's bloody cold, but the sky is a dull grey-blue, and the moon is so bright, revealing itself from behind the nude branches of the trees... And it sounds so alive... the birds are all calling, it almost feels like I was in Costa Rica...
But seriously... this whole travel bug has bit me, and it won't let go... I usually don't think about travelling that much during the day (or night), besides the random moments I have, where I swear I can smell the scents that I remember from a certin place... but the last couple posts have been all about the wanting to escape somewhere. I just think school has really been getting to me... I'm really enjoying being in Guelph, spending time with Katie and my friends... but quite frankly, this past week or so have been spent mostly in my room, studying away... I think it must be like cabin fever or something... ahhhhhhhhh!!! I want to go somewhere else... anywhere else...

So essentially, my days have consisted of:

Waking up really late
Having lunch with Katie
Studying
Procrastinating with random activities (reading blogs, playing Unreal, going to the bathroom
washing dishes
Talking to Katie
showering
Making dinner
Studying
getting really bored with studying and procrastinating more
bugging katie
remembering all the things I forgot to do today.
studying yet again
passing out really early in the morning

And that, has been the story of my life...

I have my pesticides final exam in just over 2.5 hours... I guess I'm mostly prepared at this point. I just have to do the handout readings that were given out....

Ooh, birthday's in 2 days... I'm feeling absolutely nothing at this point. I'm not sure if I will.. Hopefully I'll be sharing a joint b-day party with some friends on either the 13th or 15th... but we'll see how it plays out... If it does, I'll take pictures, and share them will y'all! :)
And the 14th, hopefully I'll go out for dinner with Katie or something

| feeling: listless |
| listening: Brown Derbies covering Karma Police by Radiohead, A Cappella style | (it's amazing!)

No more!

2004-04-06T03:16:00.000-04:00
No more!!!

Man, I'm sick of friggin biochem and its phopholipid bilayer membrane transport crap... Why can't I be like this guy, and run around and take lots of pictures, like this guy?? Gah... no... that's not in store for me, apparently...
oh well...
Anyways, had some fun with the webcam tonight.... i was being silly.
As well, I found a neato picture hosting site... that makes me excited, because now i can actually put photos up on my blog, relatively easily!! huzzah!!! like so...
apparently if they give email notice, they can basically delete my pics... but it's just transient snapshots on my blog, so no matter! :)

Me attempting to look menacing... I'm not sure if I succeeded

shhhhh.... don't tell anyone, i'm supposed to be studying right now, not blogging and playing with webcams!!

Yes, i was bored, so i tried licking the light

And now, back to your regular programming.............................

Windy Days

2004-04-04T17:44:00.000-04:00
Windy Days

It's windy today... besides that, and the chilling temperatures, absolutely gorgeous... I almsot wish I could go outside for a wwalk and freeze the crap out fo myself... :p Katie's gone off to see Lord of the Rings at the sunday cinema put on by the school.. Too much work for me.. booo....
Well, I finished that ugly mofo of a pesticides proposal, as well as my GIS lab and my food production presentation reflection... I got back my proposal, actually... I got a lacklustre unshiny 61 on it...., this is after 10 marks were taken off for lateness... *sigh* I dunno... it's was all just a matter of time... I procrastinated, and ended up not having enough time to do a good job at it... especially the actual proposed experiment itself... but whatever.... it's over and done with... i figure it's good enough that I got 18% of my final mark from that, as opposed to 0% of my final mark from the assignment..
Friday, I went to the UC (university centre), and I guess it was the last day or two of school, so they had like mega events going on there... Free ice cream to hand out, and a sweet afro-beat band playing... Antibalas... they were pretty rad.. especially live.. the whole crowd was at least bobbing their heaads along... it was great. i splurged on a cd... woohoo!
I spent much of friday evening restoring my room into a habitable form... Stupid assignments are like warzones for my room, seriously...
Saturday, Katie and I went to the Farmer's market at guelph... bought lots of nummys... apple cider, cinnamon rolls, vegetables, fruits... good stuff!! :D then we splurged again, at one of our fav restaurants, Carden Street Cafe... very rad, very rad.
Then we bought a quiche to have later for dinner, and I quickly perused Music Orbit before buying the new sarah harmer CD (yay, me and mark are seeing her on may 9th) before just catching the bus home.
HAha... I have an exam monday, and another tuesday... and i've barely started studying.. And I tried that afternoon... but then I got really sleepy and laid down on the bed... then we went grocery shopping, cuz we had shit-all for food...
I dunno, when I look in the cupboards (what a funny word), I don't register certain foods as ACTUAL food that I eat... Kraft Dinner is one such food... I think it's the video cassette shape of it that does it... but yeah... no food....
So here I am on sunday afternoon, an hour behind thanx to friggin daylight savings... attempting vainly to study for my finals...
I suppose it will be nice having days be that much brighter for longer tho... :)
So far, I've procrastinated by:

Eating life cereal & drinking apple cider
checking out thecannon.ca classifieds, for furniture and housing for next fall.. as well as checking out random sections.. Here's what I found. Eck... sick man... just sick.
Looked around briefly for jobs.
sorted and sent some email
watched the sunlight get smothered behind clouds, only to flare up again as the clouds pass.
watched the leaves spin in the wind vortex caused by the buildings, swirling and swooping, rising, falling.
started blogging

Oh... I'm so proud of you Jackie... :D I saw you on canada.com!! I think it's taken from a North shore news article... but still... that's awesome! I was so excited when I saw your face (with bright smile, and a sticker on your cheek in the vancouver section of canada.com, as I was trying to get myself grounded back in the realm of vancouver, before I get back on april 25th... I think it's so funny that they refer to everyone by last name in the article... :p teeheehee...

Anyways, time is a-passing, like the clouds I see outside my window..
So i had better get back to studying...

| feeling: sick of studying |
| listening: Sarah Harmer- Silver road |

I am slowly go-ing cr-azy...

2004-04-01T07:48:00.000-05:00
I am slowly go-ing cr-azy...
Augh...
Remember kids, don't pull three all nighters in row... It's not good for you., in anyway whatsoever, except your grades... (maybe) but really, I'm just ready to give up at this point. I shall enjoy the weekend way too much, even though I have a final on monday and another on tuesday... Currently, as it stands, I can't be bothered to care... It's really such a sad state of affairs, because really, I do care about my grades... Why the f'n would I pull three all nighters in a row? Anyways yeah, it's been a pretty rough past 4 days... Lemmesee... roughly 11 hours in the last 4-5 days?? Man, that's just sick. it really is. But well, I finally got that mofo of a pesticides proposal finished.. I think it looks pretty sharp too... Too bad I'll be losing 11% off of it... *sigh* It'll be cool, I think, because the prof will be handing everything back on Friday, so I'm getting it marked in like a day... It's amazing!! like instant gratification or something... very cool. But other than that, my life has been a standstill. I haven't enjoyed the comfort of my bed in longer than I can remember, and I see people on msn going to bed, and then waking up again, and then going to bed...
I've got the post-assignment sprawl in my room... It's been like that for the last week or so, really... But I'm surviving... I missed a group presentation for one of my classes... Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck... Pulling these all nighters isn't cutting it...
I felt like I had let everyone down at that precise moment, when I woke up at 11:20, as Katie came in with a slightly horrified look on her face. My presentation was at 10:30. I still wasn't finished my proposal at that point, and I jsut felt like the hounds of despair had caught up to me, and were about to devour my soul....
But I'm a lucky boy... my friends really worked wonders for me mood... just keeping me positive by chatting to me online, and especially Katie eating a meal with me, really helped lift me outta that hole. So thank you all.
Now, today will be interesting. Functioning on zero sleep still, I need to finish a GIS lab by 5:45pm. I'm frankly planning on sleeping until at least 11:30 or something... But is 5 hours enough time to finish the lab? Gah...
I dunno...
And oh. my. god.
My toys are trying to tell me something. My treebeard action figure leapt at my while I was typing, and holy crap it scared the bejeebees out of me... like I thought it was seriously attacking me or something. From the corner of my eye, I just saw big brown object moving and touching my arm....
And then the cave troll action figure like fell over and hit my orange juice bottle really loud.
I think it's trying to play the drum. Eep.
Anyways, I'm off... possibly to pass out, I'm not really sure yet..
ciao.
| feeling: dead tired, and ready to lie down a long long time |
| listening: my multiple alarm clocks going off at ~7:40am |

on a roll... *rolling rolling rolling*

2004-03-29T22:32:00.000-05:00
on a roll... *rolling rolling rolling*

wow, this is like the 3rd post in 2 days... tis amazing!
anyways, i'm trying to write my portion of a group paper... and it's kinda frustrating, because haf the group members are in the humanities, while the other half is in sciences... Hence, citing and referencing is real pain in the arse...
And trying to find some help has proven hard... I did end up up getting some help (thanx for the tips mark... " 'gkdf' (Poo 13)") haha... that's awesome. But what I realized is that I know very few people in the humanities, especially at guelph... What was I expecting, I guess... I'm a science major who lived with all science majors in first year... :p
But yeah... stupid food production.. that class is a chunk 'o poo!! my group was supposed to present today... our beautiful presentation on sugar cane (click the link for the powerpoint slides), but nooo.... the stupid group doing milk with their ghetto "milk" song couldn't get their computer working, so ended up taking up like half the class... So I brought my sugar cane to class in vain, and I could have spent such better time with other things... (pesticides proposal) Gah...
But this "humanities" paper is going pretty well. It's coming out relatively easy... Fuck man... Is my ability to write papers trying to tell me something about what I should be studying? :p
we'll see, I guess...
ooh, neat things today...

songbirds chirping on mass
doing laundry, running on my last pair of underwear
A box saying "Free things! Take me!" in the laundry room. I scored myself an inflatable pillow, an Aries mug with some hot chocolate mix, and a cd visor holder thing
Wearing shorts

That is all...
anyways, back to the work.. blarg

| feeling: thirsty |
| listening: sonic youth - teenage riot |

week of hell to come...

2004-03-29T04:02:00.000-05:00
week of hell to come...

Man, I really should be sleeping right now or doing some of the work in which I am sorely sorely behind, but whatever...
Wow, this past week and coming week will continue to be quite intense, methinks..
like fer chrissakes... i forgot my mom's b-day... *tears* and I didn't even catch on when she phoned me.... gah...
booooo... i suck.

Anyways, yeah... was just working on my food production adn the environment presentation tommroow at 10:30...
argh... i didn't get any time to work on my pesticudes paper AT ALL.... should I stay up now and do it?
It's 3:40am right now, i think.. I still got time before my 8:30 tommrowo...
But waiiiit... i also have another paper I'm supposed to send to my group members to edit... fuckerooni, man... seriously...
And there are so many other things I'd rather be doing..

spending time with Katie
going to see Roberta Bondar give a speech for "The last lecture" tommorow
go to the enviro sci end of semester bash on tuesday....

but sooooo much to do...
It's funny though... what your priorities are...
Cecilia Zhang's body was found in a ravine in mississauga... not far from my friend's house actually. I dont' know the family personally, but I know it must be such a trying time for them... I can't begin to imagine how heartbroken it must be. I know that the whole thing has been oversensationalized by the media, and it really is too bad that had to happen. It's just sick, because in a way, by making such a big ordeal out of it, they are trivializing it like all the other fucking news out there... "omigod, janet jackson had her shirt pulled down" or whatever... you know the drill.
Just give the people the respect and dignity they deserve... don't fuckin harass people who already have enough to deal with. And as for the whole deal with putting a X or C in front of your msn/icq name.. is it really that big a deal? to me, it's simply a symbol... of acknowledgement, of respect. I know that symbols CAN be extremely powerful. just look at the swastika, and the images it conjures... But it is simply a twisted version of an important buddhist symbol. And really, what does a matter what letter someone puts in front of their name, when all you want to do is be compassionate.
It seems like its a trying time for everyone these days... Even those who stand to have much to gain, or even nothing to gain... The inertia of fate is exerting is power on all of us or something... and we must resist.
But for now, I'm going to do a bit more work, methinks..
and then hit the sack.
The ENDDD!

| feeling: stressed and irritable |
| listening: clicking keyboards and gentle computer hums |

5am

2004-03-28T05:01:00.000-05:00
5am rant
wow, why am i still up? Silly silly pesticides research proposal that is taking much much too long to do...
Why can't I focus?? I think i've made some progress tonight. words count: 1268... I think I want to be up to at least 1500 for this one section of it... stoopid lit review... I've just not really been knowing how to go about doing it, and I think I've finally seen the light and stopped fucking around and being stupid and meticulous about it, cuz really, it's over a week late, and I need to get it done. NOW!!! i'm aiming for... 1400 words at least before bed... i hope.
I was being all too careful with my research... making sure that each point I wanted to make was backed up by at least a few sources, and stuff like that which takes entirely too long... I just can't handle it anymore...
and with a presentation to do in food production on monday, and a group paper for urban and regional planning on tuesday, I really can't afford to. Too much faking myself out to pretending I'm actually doing work, when I'm just sitting there glossing over journal articles. argharghargh

but wow... on another note... did you guys know the dalai lama is giving a talk in vancouver?? april 17-20... dammit, i'm not home yet...
he's in toronto apr 25-27... dammit, i've left ontario!!
he IS in ottawa apr 21-24.... hmmm.... that could be fun.... mini-trip... w00t!
that could be REALLY really NEAT!!! AHHHHHHHHhhhhh anybody wanna go wif me? ;)

tommorows plan:
???-hopefully be waken up semi-early by katie
??-4:30pm- work on food production presentation
5:00pm-6:00pm- meet with group for presentation
6:15-7:00pm- dinner
7:00-8pm- put together presentation
8-12pm- work on pesticides proposal
12-1am- practice presentation
1-2am- get ready for bed.

| feeling: tired and stressed |
| listening: Sarah Harmer - Lodestar |

happy stressful days

2004-03-26T16:53:00.000-05:00
happy stressful days

Well the past week has been spent poring over this silly silly research proposal on Bacillus thuringiensis that is already a week late at this point.. i've been lucky with me losing only 1% of my assignment mark per school day... so it's not taking too much a chunk out of my academic flesh... whew...
but seriously, the past 4 days or so have been spent looking at articles upon articles upon articles ad nauseum... mostly on the computer, so my eyes have been glued to the computer probably 10+ hours lately... it's becoming rather quite ludicrious. It's just me and my overambitious mind... I had found a ton of journal articles, so now that I knew that the information existed, I couldn't bring myself to NOT read them, lest I make uninformed statements, or leave out something that is important. But really, it wasn't worth it, at all... *sigh* cuz all I have to show for it, well, is really not much. >| d'oh!
And I'm starting to get past the point of caring. sadsadsadsadsad..
I just want to be up to all sorts of malarkey... haha... i just said malarkey... i wonder if i used it correctly. well let's see what our friend dictionary.com has to say:

ma·lar·key also ma·lar·ky ( P ) Pronunciation Key (m-lärk)
n. Slang
Exaggerated or foolish talk, usually intended to deceive: “snookered by a lot of malarkey” (New Republic).

aww frig... malarkey: 1, joming: 0 boooo

anyways, it's like the 2nd last week of schooll.... man, where did the semester go?
it seems like just yesterday that i got back from christmas, and now i'm being told that it's time to go home for the summer again? blarg!! there's too much stuff I have yet to do before i can leave... i guess that's why i'm staying until the 25th... It's going to be such a pain carrying everything to my new place for next september... i'll be living in the swanky new spacious student housing apartments that were built right behind the supermarket... It's a real nice place... 15 minutes from school... very spacious, washer, dryer, dishwasher even, and like a kitchen counter to rival the very best! ;)

I also need to find a job... fast... i feel like all the jobs are disappearing as we speak. Wait, I'm going to call somebody now... it's 2:10pm there, there should be someone there...
*later*

argh... man, nobody picks up the phone there at the pacific environmental science centre.... man, that would be a sweet place to work,,, like superclose to home, and really good experience, i would think!!

but anyways, today was a nice day... well sort of... it was so warm and nice out today... it was raining, and I didn't even care!! and the birds were singing... it was like the earth was being born anew...
Class was kinda suck ass... I missed my first two classes, and just made it to my third, and I got back a paper, recieving a 68% for a work that deserved roughly that... I don't think all the writing style corrections were necessary though. One other friend in the class wasn't too thrilled... She had poured her heart into the project, and recieved an overall lousy mark for it... combined with a overall crappy week and a thrown out back, it was enough for her to be a bit weepy. poor girl... it's all worked out now though... she's gonna kick some paper-marker ass! :p
and I walked by this boy today... He was holding a rubiks cube... I looked him, and he smiled back at me, and said "I'm addicted, man, addicted!" It was rather funny...
And then on the way to class, there were these strange ethereal foamy soap lumps strewn all across the path. draped on the trees, sitting in little piles on the ground... rolling around like tumbleweeds... It was so bizarre, what could I do but laugh? Later on, I found out it was coming from the water treatment plant... aieeeee.... what it was, I don't know, and I'm not sure I want to.....
So despite some of the crappiness, today was a goodo day. I can't complain.
except I've got to get to writing my research proposal again... blarg.

| feeling: happy, but stressed out |
| listening: radiohead -just |

argh!!

2004-03-16T02:02:00.000-05:00
Argh!!
Dis-fuggin-posable DVDS!!!!!
I really think a petition to stop this wastefulwasteful idea should be started.
Gah... gahgah... this is was what disposable dvds makes me think of...

| feeling: angry |
| listening: John Mayer: St-Patrick's Day |

2004-03-15T19:08:00.000-05:00
Please don't drag me down

This coming week will be a rough rough week... Tommorow, I have a quiz and a lab summary making up 30% of my grade for one of my classes due. And then thursday will be my GIS Lab 4, for 10% of my grade, and the kicker is the research proposal due on Friday for my pesticides class. That's'll be like a good 30% of my total mark. And I can't afford to start it on Thursday. I can't write a paper like that in a day... ugh... and the thing is that my prof is only taking 1% off the grade of the assignment per school day that it is late. So a weekend would just be 1% loss. And frankly, I'm tempted, except for the fact that I have a presentation on Tuesday for another class.. *booooooo*
Stupid silly assignments... But I can't let homework get in the way of more important things... I must be proactive and get my shite down. gogogogogogogo!!! I can't beleive that there is only just over a month left in school. OMFG... i'm not ready to go into 4th year... and then to graduate. Where did 3rd year go? I swear tht 2nd year zipped by in a blink of and eye, but this year makes 2nd year look like a slug running a marathon....
But besides school work, I had an environmental sympsosium. Actually, I was helping run the event... It worked out well in the end. :) The speakers were mostly inspirational and cool, and even though a lot of it was old news, it think it's always good to have some reaffirmation of things, especially when things seem kinda in the crapper.
Besides that, I've been doing homework, and just spending time with Katie. We spent like an hour on sunday just lying there and thinking about a possible pet I could get next year... It was inconclusive, but fun... chibi(mini) giraffes, armadillos, and little pigs, oh my! :)

Well back to work. good night
| feeling: lazy |
| listening: jack johnson - f-stop blues |

early

2004-03-10T08:01:00.000-05:00
early
wow, i actually woke up in time for my 8:30 class today... with enough time to spare to make my bed as well!! it's simply amazing! I was kinda dreaming when my first alarm went off, and I had a nice slow transition back to reality, instead of the sudden jerks that leave one feeling entirely disoriented. And then I realized my 2nd alarm clock hadn't gone off... so i swiftly disabled that one. Then as I lay there, trying to wake up, a quiet "beepbeep" alerted me to the existence of a third alarm clock, that i rarely hear... hehe, so I decided to finally get up. Anyways, it's a beautiful brisk, coldcold sunny day,
blue sky all around, so i'm kinda excited to get to class on time!
So yeah, i'm on a roll right now!
*rolls away*
| feeling: tired, but motivated |
| listening: my clacking keyboard |

:(

2004-03-08T00:42:00.000-05:00
this makes me so sad... :( especially because I used to buy iams for my Teddypuppy... *tear*
speaking of tears, gotta keep working on this pesticides studying... eck, ethylenebisdithiocarbamate. wtf is that!?!?

but before I go, here's something neat:
my counter keeps track of how people are referred to my page... sometimes I think it's just kinda neat+funny.
so here's what people have been looking up to end up on my page:

life of a poor vagrant
joming text
why don't ant follow lines
ant and dec pictures of i'm celebrity get me out of here when there where doing the show
sunsun guelph
pictures of baby peregine falcons
what does vagrant mean
Ant Activity Plans for Three Year Olds

*giggles*
well that's all.

| feeling: frustrated |
| listening: Dave Matthews Band- Sleep to Dream Her |

Keep on living for today

2004-03-06T16:01:00.000-05:00
That is what I need to do, to keep in the back of my mind at all times. It's been busy 3 weeks past since I last wrote in here... I feel like I haven't done any work, and now it's all crashing down on me, even thought I HAVE been doing work. I dunno.. it's weird. So many things coming up.. assignments I have to hand in next week, midterm on monday, possible summer jobs, where to live in the future, courses to take in the fall... I feel like the only thing I live in the now with is the food that I need to eat, the liquid I need to drink.. Everything else is simply an extrapolation of current reality.... not what things are, but what they will become, potentially everything, potentially nothing.
It's all a constant run towards my next destination; where's the time to enjoy what's standing right in front of me, much less to look back and remember fondly the past that is fading to a speck on the horizon. But let me try:

Spring break was a good time. I just slept in till 1 every day, read comic books, walked on the ice at Presque Isle, and snuggled the morning away in bed with Katie, which was ever so comfortable and nice. We also made snowmen, and watched some movies, and played foosball. All in all, just very much relaxing.

However, I think did too much relaxing. I didn't do any work that whole time, and even now I'm still kicking my own ass as I attempt to catch up in my schoolwork. ugh.. That's what the past two weeks have been, seemingly. One assignment after another. It's been so busy, there's been a serious lack in the pictures I've taken, simply because my mind is so preoccupied with other things that I haven't bothered. It's rather scary, because a lot of times, it's how I have been getting a coherent story of my life. During that week, there is this void where my life revolved around school work. 2 assignments, 1 paper, and a midterm.
there's no end in sight though... I'm still stuck trekking in the squagmire homework land (gag), and the wonderful land of fun-ness lies far far away, a shimmering oasis that I will never seem to arrive at.
I have also been plugging away at the Environmental Symposium. I was actually in charge of creaating and maintaining the website, as well as searching out people to bring informative displays for people to peruse. I'm a picky website person. It needs to be meticulous, or else I get really bugged. Needless to say, it takes up a lot of time.
I finally put my webshots album online. It should be pretty cool... Much of the fun of pictures comes from sharing them, and with a digital camera, it becomes hard to do that, especially with the limited space that email services have these days, and sending them individually also takes bloody long... so enjoy! I have another set of albums in the works, but just no time.... :( booerns.
I'll be living with some friends, Taeko, Amanda, and her sister Nikki next fall... That should be interesting, with moving off campus and into such a different environment. I won't be living with Katie.. *sigh* I wonder how that will turn out. Part of me thinks that it has much potential to be a really good time.
That, pretty much brings me up to this weekend, which was nice. Friday night, Dan came over, bringing Firefly(some sci fii show) to watch, but since I'm usully not uberkeen on tvness, I did my own thing in my room, just chilling and figuring out my digital photos, and chatting online. In short, anything but study for my pesticides midterm on monday. heh. that's a good idea.

Today was quite nice though... I woke up in time for the farmer's market at 10:40 to catch the 10:50 bus, and Katie and I bought some yummy veggies, and STRAWBERRIES!!! hurrah!! ;) i'm so excited... we might have fondue, cuz i bought this fondue kit a while back... :D Next, lunch was at the atmosphere cafe on carden st. I was kind of skeptical of the place at first, but it went far past my expectations. Firstly, pretty scrumptious eats (thin crust pizza, mushroom, spinach phyllo pastry, bruschetta bread, cheese cake), and awesome service, and really cool bathrooms... There were five of them... labelled wood, fire, earth, wind and water... and each had their own little quirky thing to it. and unisex too... very cool. But the best part was when these two dudes came in, one with a giant bass, another with a guitar, and halfway through lunch, they started playing, and they were so good... Just like really mellow and it was cozy like curling up in ball with a hot drink in front of a warm fireplace. I told them that they had made my day, because really, they had. The guitar player had a CD, so I bought it. I had to get going, cuz I had to meet somebody at 1:00, and it was already 5 to 1. Katie was gonna listen to another song, so I left first.. Katie bought one later on, and apparently Jonas was really happy to have sold 2 cds that day. :)
So I went to my group meeting for our Urban and Regional planning project. We watched like a guerilla undercover video of interviews and stuff. very cool. And wow, one of my group members Geoff, got engaged the other day!!! he's getting married next reading break. wow, the very concept of that blows me away... But yeah, Now I'm home, and about to bunker down for some hardcore studying. Midterm monday, and I want to do well. And ooh, Katie just came in, bearing gifts of cinnamon rolls... yay!
| feeling: inspired |
| listening: Jonas- Keep on living on for today |

6:36am

2004-02-16T06:49:00.000-05:00
wow, I keep forgetting how much I should despise computers, for the number of times that I've lost writing because of it crashing. I think it just about might be one of my biggest pet peeves for me... I just hate losing those transient thoughts and tangents that is my mind.
Anyways, let's cut to the chase. Let's hope it's interesting and somewhat comprehensible. ;)

It's been a busy week. I had midterms up the wazoo, and then it was valentine's day. I haven't had the chance to live vicarious lives through people's blogs. I think it's becoming an addiction... i think over 12 blogs that I read consistently... haha... So this is much needed me time, even if it IS at an hour when real keeners are just starting their day. I think this time is solace for me. Something to just kind of digest and process things in my brain unconsciously, by working on else and just being distracted. It's a little bit like defragging my mind... and letting things thoughts settle to the bottom while my mind is occupied.

I think I may also be so awake at this hour because I had a long afternoon nap with Katie in my warm toasty bed. We kind of slept the afternoon away, after watching propagandic episode of classic GI JOE, and having soup and sandwiches, which are always good ways to start reading break! :)

*save*

Katie's parents are coming up in 4-5 hours to pick us up to whisk me and Katie to her house... It's sad, because I'm willing to bet that they're getting ready to start the drive to guelph, from Erie. I'm excited tho... it should be a fun time, methinks. It seems like there will be much fun in store, running amuck, as well as just taking it easy. Not exactly Key Largo reading break material, but it shall much more than suffice.

My bags are packed, I'm ready to go...

I feel like physically, I'm all ready to get going, but mentally I'm not quite there yet or something. Not that it really requires a lot, but I just feel like I haven't had enough time to sufficiently detach my mind from Guelph-mode.
Oh yeah, valentines... I had much fun... Hope Katie did too... it's funny, cuz we live in the same townhouse, but we were so busy making presents for each other, we didn't really end up getting to see each other until the evening rolled around. Just like running around to the mall to procure supplies and goods...
I'm sad, cuz I didn't get to finish my main present for her on time... A personalized calendar with like photo collage things for each month. Well I have it basically all designed, just not printed and bound all nicely. :) But really, it all worked out in the end... She made me dinner, it was so sweet... roasted potato salad, and a heart shaped pizza... and yummy too!
I had made a sad sad attempt at the last minute the night before to find a fine dining experience, but alas, it was a valiant but sad attempt, and she told me not to worry, and she comes through with uber-dinner! Amazing!

Then we moseyed our way to the Guelph Youth Music Centre where they had a "tropical dance party" going on. haha, we were gonna try our feet at some tropical dancing... ;) We took a wrong turn on Eramosa Rd, and my god, it was so bitterly bitterly cold. Finally we got to Cardigan street, on this empty side-street, and just as we lost all feeling in our bodies, we found it. yay! Going in, we hovered over the snacks for a bit, and watched the demonstrators instruct us in the way of the dance.
Step, step back, shift weight. repeat ad infinitum.
It was a pretty good time, all in all. Can't say we looked as smooth dancing as the instructors made it out to be, but what can you do?? We continued to step on our toes, and bump into other couples doing the same. haha, good times.
We caught the second last bus home, basking in it's fluorescent blue glory, before getting home, taking a shower, and played a riveting game of Scrabble in our PJS, where she eked past me 308-305, and ate lime jello.

Anyways, it's actually light out now... 7:12am. oops.
see y'all in a week, I'll be scarce until then, methinks. :)

| feeling: annoyed, but cozy in goldfish patterned PJ pants, and huge fuzzy bearfoot slippers |
| listening: foo fighters - monkey wrench |

Drama

2004-02-11T03:31:00.000-05:00
Tonight I went to City Hall of Guelph for one of my classes. We were learning the wonders of zoning by-laws and minor variances, and at City Hall, we got a glimpse into the lives of people for just a moment. People stood before the committee and showed their proposed changes to their property. Sounds inane enough, but really, it was sheer voyeuristic joy. Seeing all the motivations and dreams of the people who were up there, seemingly pouring their hearts out for what seemed to me such trivial things, but to them, meant a lot. A meat store being allowed to have "demo days", a citizen changing the allowable height for a fence, or a expecting mother converting a shed into a small personal library so that her family could make room for a new child. In my mind, I could picture all these places and the memories created as a result of these changes. And when they finally approved the proposal, you could almost hear the collective sigh go through the students. Whether it was because we were so bored that any spark of drama had us on edge, or because it was genuinely fascinating, being allowed a view into people's personal lives, we were all fixated on every word that was said, uncomfortable as our poor buttocks were from sitting in a bench for 3 hours. The words floated through the air, and even as relaxed as it was, you could still feel the tension between people talking and it made the shadows of the words that were said almost opaque. You could see every movement of the person standing in front of the commitee. Every nervous twitch, every cracking voice and tired muscle from standing for so long. In the end, I think that all of the proposals were passed, although there were a few close calls to a proposal being rejected. And we all left the building, almost with a warm fuzzy feeling, at knowing that people's lives were unduly enriched by these small minute changes that affect few people but themselves, and we had all be quiet witnesses to this spectacle.
I had just missed the bus, so I walked to the nearby bookstore to whittle away some time, and it was good. I bought a book. Tom Robbins, he's a good guy. It was really weird when I finally stepped on the bus that took me back to the university (residences). For just a moment, I got a fleeting feeling, that I had just finished school for the night, and was returning home, when in fact I was now returning to school (to go home). It was like a premonition of the future, of next fall, when I will be living off-campus, and will be doing that, bussing home at night, and when I get home, not be able to plod across the hall into the arms of my love.

| Feeliing: thoughtful |
| Listening: to the hum of my computer (or in my mind, They Might by Giants - Words are Like) |

M.I.A.

2004-02-10T04:16:00.000-05:00
Hey hey,
I've been lying rather low on the blogging scene the last few weeks... It's just been kinda of busy. I think that blogging would help me in a way, in reducing the mental clutter that builds up, but no time for that... hahaha ;) This nebulous mind of mine is just having issues operating, and I think that a nice long blog is in store sometime soon.
I know that this can't do justice for the last... 3 weeks of absence, but it seems like all at once, all these things have snuck up on me. Midterms to write, assignments to complete, printers to fix, blogs to read, blogs to write, things to make, emails to reply, plans to put into action, and fun to have. I feel so far behind, I don't even have time to read my blogs... what's the world coming to? hahaha... :p Where does it this come from? Riight now, I've got stuff coming at me up the wazoo, and there's no looking back...
The days are short, and somehow, I've got to muster my forces and go forward. I've got to be a machine, like how I see other people are these days. I'm jealous.
But somehow...
I've got to learn to be short and consistent, not verbose and sporadic. I'm working on it, i'm working on it... but what can you do when you forget to write one thing, and you just can't let it go and write about the next thing that happens? My nebulous mind, though nebulous, can't work in reverse chronological order. Ack... Suggestions, anybooody?
Anyways, just writing to say that it's gonna be a goonish rest of the week, and then I'll be off to Erie, PA to her parents. That should be an awesome time! I'll see what kind of blogging I can get in there, but really, I can't guarantee anything. :)
Anywheys, It's bedtime.....
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

| Feeling : Tired, and slightly overwhelmed |

just a short one.

2004-01-22T03:14:00.000-05:00
Hey hey...
just a short post, i hope...
Today was rather bleah... I'm just not inspired to do any school work at this point in time.. I feel like there are many things transpiring that I should be worrying about instead. housing, summer jobs, future plans, other such goodies, i suppose. And I think my computer desktop is just too yicky to actually be productive. Click the link to see for yourself! Methinks I'm gonna try to upload pics of my desktop whenever I switch it up or anything for all to peruse... what fun, eh? weeheehee
This blog layout is getting really stale... I've seen some really neat ones... I'll see if I get inspired enough to change it. hehe
So that shall be my first line of attack on this ennui that has set in.
And now it's 3am, and I'm gonna post some pics, like I said I would, before I hit the sack.
I'm supposed to meet someone at Creelman Hall at 11:30am. I posted a classified ad for my dreadlock wax, since I had bought two jars of the stuff, and not even gone through one of them. And it was more on a whim than anything, and I didn't think anyone would respond. But respond they did! Within like 3 hours of me posting it, some girl phoned in, and she was wanting to buy it off me! It's probably cuz I cut the price in half, cuz i didn't think I'd find any takers... dammit... i could have made some more money.. booerns...
anyhoo, onto pictures! 3 of them in fact.
Click here to see them.
Here's something neat... A phrasebook of the different words to describe the same thing across Canada.
And that is all.

heart. stopped. for just a moment.

2004-01-19T00:19:00.000-05:00
wow...
i went to my friend jon's house for his b-day party today.. it was a good time... video games, chocolate cake, good people.. it was a good time. and right afterwards, i went with kevin and his girlfriend rachel to the intramural volleyball game... which we won pretty easily, 2 sets to none.. and then after the game, i searched my jacket pockets for me camera, and it wasn't there... my poor camera was gone!! *heart breaks* and i was rather distraught... and i asked like everyone i saw if they had seen it, but to no avail.. i was so sure that i had put it in my jacket pocket with my wallet, necklace and watch, and then deliberately wrapped up my jacket so that it would be safe... and my other belongings hadn't been taken.. just my camera... so weird... so i was about to leave and go home and sulk and be kicking my own ass cuz i shouldn't have left it in such a crappy place before making 20 billion "camera lost" notices, when kevin and rachel came up to me with my camera and took a picture of me with it.
so i guess in the end all ended well.. i had some chocolate brought back in a tupperware, and now i took a shower, and now i'm ready to finally to a wee bit of work... too little of that this weekend, that's for sure...
friday consisted of scrabblemania.. we played 3 games of scrabble, which was good fun. i think we're all getting better from when we first started playing this semester... :)
and then saturday was all about the farmer's market, and just some shopping downtown at the asian market and at the bookshelf. got meself a cool shirt and a toque. w00woo!! and then more scrabble ensued back at the townhouse... and then me and katie went for a romp outside... we played in the snow... and we wrote "hug a tree" in a patch of virgin snow... that was a fun time!the evening was good. liv's friend tihana came down, and me, paul, chris went with them first to the pennywhistle, where we met up with christina and kevin, and we chilled for a bit there, before kevin and christina went home, and the remaining peeps went to the denim, which was a decent time. the music was ok... some really old stuff, and after a while, it was like... "mehhhh" but i dunno.. while any loud music's playing, i can't really help myself but to move to the rhythm... tis strange, tis strange. and i dunno... the place's obsession with alcohol and girls.. i dunno.. maybe i'm a newbie, but i dunno... it kinda offended me to be treated like that...
but yeah... whatever, i guess.. i'm just bitching now... :p hehe
nyways, i'm off to do some work before bed.
i'll post some pictures soon... one of me being surprised at kevin with my camera, and another with my new toque and tshirt, and mybe some more... :)
have a good night!
| feeling: tired and relieved (about my camera) |
| hearing: lenny kravitz - heaven help (acoustic) |

12 hours

2004-01-15T17:52:00.000-05:00
wow, i just had 12 hours of sleep... 12-12.... i dont' remember the last time i had that... although i did have a small break in my slumber at like 6am... i think if i wanted, i could have just stayed up, but meh, sleep is always good. :)
i did have a slightly bizarre dream though... wow, i think it's the first dream i've posted in here... maybe? i'm not sure. anyways, here goes...
I was out somewhere with a friend, and I was supposed to meet up with Mikaela and Mark (who was supposed to pick her up), and we waited for like the longest time, and they still hadn't shown up after like 5 hours (according to messed up dream time), and so I phoned mikaela, and she said she was still waiting for Mark. Weird.. So then I phoned mark's house, and his mom picked up the phone, and when I asked if mark was there, she said that he was, but that I couldn't talk to him. I asked her why, and she told me to ask my parents. Tht was relly weird, but I phoned my mom, and apparently there was this new... activity, I guess.. it was some weird thing where people like attempted to roll themselves up like a carpet, and in a similar fashion to bonsai kittens or foot binding, the body was eventually contorted permanently. and apparently mark had started doing this, and as he was rolled up like a carpet, he couldn't come out with us, much less drive.. ermm... a weird dream, no?
Anyways, today has been wholly unproductive. I ate lunch, and basically watched cartoons all day. I dunno what happened to my epiphany last night. I feel like it evaporated, leaving behind a barren husk of ambition. Actually, I think I know when it left me.. my computer crashed, and I had forgotten to save a text file full of thoughts I had been having, and just like that, half an evening's worth of thoughts were down the drain. booerns. The irony of the ephemerality of thoughts and my vain attempts at preserving them on a computer, which then crashes is so silly. So is my ambition's vulnerability to be affected by the transient nature of reality. Gah.
Also, I don't think that these tuesdays and thursdays when I only have one class is very conducive to being productive. Like really, it has so much potential, but I just need to get my ass into gear... but pretty soon, I'll be starting climbing, once Aisha figures what's up with her puffy wisdom teeth and can climb again.. Jeepers.

Anyways, Let's write a list of things that I've got to start doing in the near future.

Look up info for the research proposal in my pesticides class
Look up info on sugar cane for group project in food production)
Clean up my room
Put up decorations
Start looking into housing for next year
Figure out my area of emphasis for my degree
Find out fun things to do with katie in the evenings (ideas, anyone?)
E.T. Phone home

Anyways, time to make dinner, and then off to GIS Lab... weeee...gonna bring katie the heart-shaped chocolate chip cookie we made today... mmm, nummy
kitchen, here I come!
| Feeling: slightly hungry and cold, and detached, and determined to regain optimism (was that too long? ;p ) |
| Hearing: Sarah McLachlan - Ben's Song |

beautifultragic, ephemeral, neverlasting

2004-01-14T18:23:00.000-05:00
I am stunned by the world, so incomprehensibly vast, complex and beautifully tragic. There is so much in this world to experience... all the sights, smells, feelings and it hurts in knowing that I'll never be able to do it all. And then there is the life that the world holds, all the beings whose lifeforce beats with a strength that never ceases to surprise me, and all of them playing a role in the inimaginably intricate play known as Life.
Even as I am typing this, life is unstoppably hurtling through space and time. Bacteria break down molecules for energy, an insect eats away at its next meal, and a plant grows a new leaf. A cat is born, an elephant passes into oblivion, a young teenager reads a blog while a fragile aging woman in a war-torn land finds refuge only in her mind. And no matter There is so much going on a worldwide scale that I want to experience first hand...

Words fail me...

I feel like a sink for this experience, this knowledge that I want to incorporate into my soul. I feel like my mind is aflame with it, and I feel so impassioned to learn about it... Despite all the suffering and catastrophe in the world, from my lofty pedastal in a middle-class suburbanite perspective, life is still beautiful, for just like how there must be light for darkness to exist, in despair, somewhere there must be hope. And in all that I see around me, I see that light, and I see that hope. This past few days, I feel so inspired to learn, it's almost frightening (another symptom of the messed up psyche of the modern student, to be afraid of this inspiration), yet fulfilling, and yet leaving me thirsty to learn more. Not learning just from textbooks, but also from delving into people's minds through their webjournals, and by really being alive.

It makes me want to embrace all of the world, and bask in it. In its love, its lust, its hate, happiness, sadness, in all its entirety. As I type this, my heart actually aches in its love for the world. And I hope that this euphoria I feel will last, but I know that it won't, and even as I finish writing, the ephermal emotion has begun to wane, merely another part of this fleeting world: "A star at dawn, a bubble in a stream; A flash of lighting in a summer cloud; A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream."

W3ll, wee|< 0n3 is finish3d

2004-01-13T01:20:00.000-05:00
Wow, it's been a week already, huh?
geez louise. it seems like time is flying past me already... but really it's been a pretty fun time. I've enjoyed my first week in guelph. Well besides the fuckin windchilled -34C weather last week, and now the slushy slippery weather that I've slipped onto my ass numerous times on...
But I've been feeling pretty good about my classes in general. There's a little bit of overlap in terms of current, and previous course content, but I feel like I'm absorbing content so far this semester, and relatively being on top of things, and good with being organized.. I'm writing stuff in my planner for once, as well as my 4 month planner, although I see signs that I might start falling behind if I don't get my ass into gear. I can already see it with my deal with myself to be more physically active. I played a v-ball game, and I'm so sore right now, and I don't think I'll be doing something strenuous in a while until I feel better.
My schedule this semester is kinda wonky.. Mon/Wed/Fri, I have class from 8:30-11:30, and then 2 hour break, and then class 1:30-2:30 (so, the afternoon off), while on tues/Thurs, I only have 7-10pm. so basically the whole day off!! MWFs, I feel pretty productive somehow, even when I'm not, simply because I've been up for so long by the time I'm done class... But the one thing is tht I get so wiped out after class those days... I guess it's partly an issue of 8:30s, but I'm trying to figure out if there's something else inherently off with me... like my diet or if I dont' get enough oxygen or something..

Today, reading a kind of depresssing article about e-waste... about the technology that is almost ubiquitous in our society... computers, appliances, cell phones, all that stuff. It's not really the technology itself that poses any problem, but it's how obsolescence has become part of its design... to wear out after a few years of use, so that we have to keep buying and buying, and perhaps more importantly, throwing it out. How many people think of where this stuff goes? It just piles into landfills, and if we, the developed nations of the world decide we don't like the look of our filth in our backyard, we'll just ship them off to india or china, or some other country, where seven year olds are exposed to toxic chemicals while they try to eke out a livelihood by scavenging the technological wasteland that has become their way of life. In one moment frozen in time, I felt my insides flare up, and I felt disgusted by the inhumanity, but at the same time inspired, somehow, to change something about it. I don't really know how, but I'm willing to learn more, because I believe that there must be a better alternative to this... So I'm rather psyched about this kind of new direction. For a number or reasons. I can use what I'm learning bout in school in terms of my major which has a biology/chemistry focus, and it's a fast emerging problem in the world, and will continue to be important as technologies develop in the future, and also importantly, it's something I feel strongly about, just because I know that I enjoy my technology, and I don't want to be contributing to such a problem. And I think that there would be opportunity for travel, possibly, even though it would be to rougher parts of the world.

the article is rather long, but if you're really keen, get it here

And wow... my brain has been buzzing tonight. just like talking to people has been firing off synapses in my mind, and lemme tell you, they aren't blanks. The trouble I have is with its articulation, from primeval goo-thought form, into organized logical thought form. but what can you do but keep writing, huh?
but yeah, i'm gonna try to tame these thoughts...
Have a good night.

| Listening: Kermit the frog- the rainbow connection |
| Feeling: inspired |

Showers

2004-01-09T02:16:00.000-05:00
Hey Peepuls, cast your vote, huh? I'm intrigued.

But seriously, if you haven't, and have enough coordination to not fall and die in the shower, try it sometime! I find that it like liberates your other senses, and for me, it's a time of contemplation... slightly weird, but what can I say, eh?
lol, in other news, my the letter a on my keyboard is having severe issues. i have to like mash it before the letter decides to come out and play on the computer screen.
Anyways, it's late, and i have 8:30 class tommorow. it should be good day though... kind long morning, and then a relaxing afternoon, and then my friend dear and her boy vivek are making a whole gang of us nummy nummy thai food for dinner! woohoo!! :)
goonye!

| Feeling: Thirsty yet content |
| Listening: The Flaming Lips- Fight Test |

1st day if classes!

2004-01-06T03:40:00.000-05:00
well, i'm back.
the trip back to guelph was quite alright, except or the slight delay in my ride from the irport back to guelph. but it went right to my door, how can i complain. it was so nice holding katie in my arms again... *content sigh*
Waking up this mornign was kinda gross. I woke up few times during the night, and I was almost waiting until it was a decent time to get up, cuz it was still like 5:30am... but i managed to sleep until 7:45, and then the gross part is that it was still bloody dark outside, as well as the fact that i had locked myself out of my room, cuz i didn't unlock it from the night before, having simply propped it open. *sighsigh* but that was fine. it was good being up so early, and so productive
and then my first day of school was pretty rad... just like seeing all the kids again an stuff. i enjoyed just seeing people all over campus and stuff. had lunch with Laura (who lived in katie's apartment last year), and taeko. the crowning moment of the day, was when one of Laura's guy friend, who I hadn't even been introduced to, was leaving, and gave everyone, including me a smooch on the cheek. so so bizarre. I have since learned his name, which is a good thing.
And I dunno if it's something with getting up so early, but I felt so like inspired today, like I could take the world by storm, nd kick its ass. I joined the climbing club, bought some books, and then some grocery shopping hppened...
anyway, nothing else worthy of note has happened, so i'm off to bed, before it gets too late, and I screw myself for good again. :)
night!

Looking back at the year two thousand and three, anno Domini

2004-01-03T05:35:00.000-05:00

damn... i had this mega essaylong, colourful, version of the year end review thingy going around, but now i'm bitter and jaded from my browser crashing, and we'll hafta settle for 2nd best. *sigh* most of the responses are the faded shadows of my previous answers for the most part, but maybe i'll be good cuz it won't be so boring... haha! ;p still, I wrote in more than one thing where I was supposed to choose one, just cuz i'm indecisive.. haha

[warning: this is kinda long. get a comfy chair, get a drink, and pay your bills first.] ;)

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?
travelled to costa rica, japan, tobermory, stratford, sudbury.
became a digital camera fiend
lived with my love in a townhouse
went in a corn maze, parasailing, to the enviro sci bash
made to walk in straight line to get into a bar.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don't really remember making one last year, but for this year, my resolution is live my life more actively, fully and completely, in the following aspects: physically, mentally, emotionally, academically, spiritually, activistically to be healthier, in terms of exercising.
to do better in school.
and to keep in better touch with the people I cherish in my life

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nay

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, and I just thought about that happening in my life... never seeing then smile, hearing their voice, or even just chatting to them online. that to me is really bizarre and kind of frightening, even though I try to see death as a natural part of life.

5. What countries did you visit?
Costa Rica, Japan, USA, and Canada

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?
A career related job, the knowledge and ability to dive, more exercise, less procrastination on my part, a specific direction in life/work/school

7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?:
I don't know the precise date, it was much more a specific moment in time that in my memory. It was roughly 5 days after I got to costa rica(end of april), and we had hiked up to the very top of the continental divide, and I had straddled my way up a 10 ft tree stump, and it looked and felt like I was on top of the world. I was on the highest point that I could see in any direction, and the billowing clouds were rushing towards and past me from all directions. And another really big moment was on mid-late May, the day after I had arrived in Japan, two weeks after leaving costa rica, and just being floored by the shocking difference between the two cultures, one of wild jungles and oceans of navy blue, and the other of concrete jungles and oceans of black asian hair that covered the streets of japan.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
The only one that readily comes to mind is getting the highest course mark in my university career.... 94% in intro to aquatics (taken distance education)

9. What was your biggest failure?
not keeping in touch very well with friends and family especially, and barely exercising, and letting my poor sleeping habits spiral madly out of control.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
sprained an ankle kinda badly, that's all i can recall...

11. What was the best thing you bought?
If I had bought it, it would be my digital camera, but since i didn't buy it, it would have to be my big travelling backpack. A very fine investment for a future of travelling. :D

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
my friend mark, for him going up to a girl he'd never talked to before, and with sincerity (and not a cheesy pick-up line or whatever) asked her out, and started a really awesome relationship with her for the summer, where they connected very deeply, My description didn't do it nearly enough justice, but for someone who isn't an introvert, but doesn't give his love away freely to anybody, i think that's really rad, and I think that it takes a lot to do something like that.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
my own, for doing a poor job as an RA (i let too much get away, and was almost the cause of something really bad happening), and for doing a poor job at jobhunting for a career related job

14. Where did most of your money go?
going out for dinner, travelling expenses, food, presents, developing photos

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
travelling, student exchanges(even if i didn't go), concerts, meeting new people, seeing friends again seeing katie over the summer, as well as living with her.

16. What song will always remind you of 2003?
cold play - the scientist
travis- baby hit me one more time (covered by my friend stu)
the flaming lips- Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots pt.1
great big sea- The Old Black Rum
ben harper + Jack Johnson- high tide or low tide

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner, i think
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
school work, exercise, reading, sleeping, being active (physically and in the community), blogging, spending quality time with loved ones, job hunting, spending time in nature, camping, getting involved

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
pulling all nighters, procrastinating, wasting time on the internet without purpose, being in my room

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
It's over already, but x-mas eve was spent with much family (both sides) and some family friends, at my house for a giant chinese-style buffet-feast. Christmas was spent with family as well, and we woke up late, and then went for a mid-afternoon snack and then to the some streets that had awesome christmas light decorations to just look at, and then back home for leftovers.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
Katie

22. Did you fall in love in 2003?
yes, constantly, with katie.

23. How many one-night stands?
none

24. What was your favorite TV program?
none on tv really, but anime berserk on the internet (vive l'internet downloading!)

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hating ain't cool. but george bush was close.

26. What was the best book you read?
wow, can't remember when i read what book. neutral buoyancy (tim? escott) was rad. inspired me to really want to dive. all families are psychotic (douglas coupland), blankets by craig thompson(such a sweet/sad story)

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
damn, wish i had my mp3s w/me, but off the top of my head, jack johnson

28. What did want and get?
A digital camera, some travelling, new experiences, and to learn more about myself

29. What did you want and not get?
Peace on earth, the earth saved from being raped, the ability and knowledge to go diving, to be in shape, a (especially a career related one), and a stable computer.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I can't really remember which movies I watched were from this year, but finding nemo,i guess.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went to jill, john, christina, and matt's house for a b-day get-together with a whole bunch of friends, and we just chilled out. I turned 20.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
better sleeping habits
the ability to write papers painlessly
making better use of my time.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
hair is fun, and clothes are casual.

34. What kept you sane?
Friends, Katie, hugs, writing.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I honestly can't say. I don't fancy them equally.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I guess it would be the war on Iraq, just from my sheer exposure to it.

37. Who did you miss?
My puppy
Katie (while I was apart from her in the summer)
Guelph friends (during the summer)
Vancouver friends (during the school year)
My family

38. Who was the best new person you met?
wow.. so many neat people I met this year, i've truly been blessed. but Livia is really neat! I've only really met her for 6 months when we took intro to aquatic environments together this summer and started talking, but already she feels like an old friend... My fellow insomniac, and i think she understands me well. I can spew a chaos of thoughts, and she like digests and processes them into easy to swallow word pellets.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003:
Things change, whether you want it or not, and not for good nor bad, but simply because that is the way. The biggest changes happen imperceptibly, so gradually that it goes unnoticed, until you wake up one day, and reality slaps you in the face. And there are two ways to deal with it: like a willow tree, waving in the wind, but flexible enough not to snap in strong winds, or like a telephone pole, rigid and unwavering, but liable to snap under extreme duress.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I'm not really a song lyric guy.. I can't transcribe them into my memory... it's very strange. but i came across one looking at the cds i own:
"And times like those
What will be will be
And so it goes
And it always goes on and on...
On and on it goes
But somehow I know it won't be the same
Somehow I know it will never be the same."
-Jack Johnson

it's been a while.

2003-12-29T20:33:00.000-05:00
hey hey... i know it's been a while... I've been really busy... doing shit all.. haha. i dunno. I think that being home is more conducive to going out hooliganating, so i just haven't been home as much, and there's usually just more stuff (errands, chores) to deal with, so this has unfortunately suffered.
Anyways last night I was trying to get to sleep, and I was laying there for like an hour. Very very peculiar... 5am rolls around, and I'm just like "fuckit" and I just stayed up the whole night... I did end up crashing into my bed around noonish for like 2 hours, but i'm hoping that staying up will make me sufficiently tired enough to put my sleeping schedule into order. possibly unlikely though, especially with new years looming near in the future. *sigh* c'est la vie.

100 things about me

2003-12-29T19:30:00.000-05:00
I've been achin to do one of these for a while... they seem kinda fun, so let's begin, shall we!

1. i'm an aries, but not a very typical aries. (apr 14)
2. i'm trying to find patterns in people's astrological signs
3. i like collecting things: rocks, kinder surprise, pictures, emails, websites etc..
4. i've decided to stop actively collecting kinder surprise, and this is partly because I have much more materialistic stuff than I need
5. I've been going with my wonderful katie for 2 years, 2 months and 16 days, to be exact.
6. I'm very much nocturnal.
7. The ability to blow bubblegum, whistle or curl my tongue eludes me
8. I can snap my fingers very well though.
9. Snapping photos is one of my favourite pasttimes.
10. I don't really have a favourite past time; I enjoy dabbling lightly in many things
11. If any, collecting things would be my pasttime.
12. I desire acceptance, but not necessarily belonging
13. I'm pee-shy, but I'm making progress
14. Love is one of my most highly valued ideals.
15. Knowledge is another.
16. I enjoy quotes.
17. If my memory would serve me well, i would use witty quotes, but for the most part, my memory fails me.
18. I'm very good at numbers and names though.
19. I believe that people are inherently good, and that there exists beauty within them, somewhere.
20. I value my relationships with others.
21. I'm proud of my chinese heritage.
22. I wish I knew more about my history and origins.
23. I'm at the same time both proud and ashamed of my feet (different parts of it)
24. People's minds, and how they think fascinate me.
25. I'm feel scared and sorry for drunken old people.
26. I have a gimped knee.
27. I've got cavities, but i blame it on my braces, and how the cavities formed beneath the braces while I had them.
28. I wish someone would play calvinball with me.
29. I appear to have an obsession with monkeys, but it's just a continuing interest
30. I once wanted to be a giant purple telepathic amoeba.
31. I used to want to be an aerospace engineer, and I almost went to university for that.
32. I'm now in environmental science, after going on an amazing trip that inspired me and solidified a growing urge to protect the planet.
33. Although I haven't done a lot of backpacking, travelling the world is and will continue to be one of my passions
34. I enjoy the subtle, small, yet beautiful moments in life, and how some people can capture them so well.
35. One of my favourite places I've been to yet is Clayoquot Sound.
36. I'm not religious, but I believe in spirituality.
37. I have size 8 1/2 feet.
38. My legs are unusually short.
39. I'm an expert at the games Super Bomberman and Worms
40. Sometimes when it's cold, I'll wear socks to bed, and then take them off 15 minutes later.
41. I am definitely a procrastinator
42. Sometimes I wish that I could wake up and have read every single book ever written, for their content.
43. Then I don't wish that, when I think of the joy of reading and learning things narratively. Did I mention that I enjoy reading?
44. I have trouble saying no to food.
45. I can be a dweller.
46. I like to organize, but I'm not very organized.
47. Sometimes I like to hug trees to feel their power
48. The first band I was really crazy about was the Smashing Pumpkins.
49. I was born in Hong Kong
50. My family immigrated to Canada when I was the age of 4
51. My first memory of being in Canada was having another little boy let me play with his marvel action figures while we were in line at the airport.
52. I've worn glasses ever since I could remember
53. I have very little recollection of my childhood.
54. I was never in organized sports, or cubs, or scouts.
55. Cucumber used to make me gag, but not anymore. Same with shittake mushrooms and licorice,
56. Oysters (in any form: preserved, raw, well done) still makes me gag.
57. I used to hate vegetables as a small child. Without the fibre, I once fell asleep on the loo, going poo.
58. I'm notorious for twisted humour.
59. I used to have online friends, but I've since mostly lost touch with them.
60. I have similar scars on the inside of both my elbows.
61. I was born in the year of the pig.
62. I've really only had one pet.
63. I've gone through the gamut of hairstyles: bowl cut, hair parted in the middle, spikey hair, bleached and dyed, dreadlocks,a mohawk, and currently my hair is mostly shaved.
64. Beards are currently an impossibility for me at this point in time.
65. I wish I had more direction in life
66. I have a dislike for hype, hypocristy, and apathy.
67. I was a star wars junkie as a child, but I've mellowed out.
68. I like toys, even now.
69. No, I haven't.
70. I enjoy eating. all sorts of food.
71. I don't, but wish I could lucid dream
72. I'm mostly a visual learner
73. I constantly mishear what people say. "your mango wallet had herpes?" ;p
74. I feel like I live two lives, because I live in Vancouver, but have gone to school in Guelph for the past 3 years, but there's very little overlap in these two realms
75. My fingers get cold after I've been typing for a while.
76. I can't retain auditory information very well (long numbers, lectures), unless I write them down.
77. I try to avoid watching TV.
78. I dislike money as an end in itself.
79. Sometimes I don't understand the hate that happens in the world.
80. For a long time, I was scared of the darkness in my basement. I thought vampires lived there.
81. I've tried Qigong. It was an interesting experience.
82. I've fallen asleep in yoga class. (was I too relaxed?)
83. If you add 19 in front of this number, it's the year I was born.
84. I'm blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people.
85. I enjoy laughing until my stomach hurts, and I'm unable to breathe.
86. Back massages are nice. So are hugs. Both to give and recieve. :)
87. Some people say I'm too touchy-feely. I call it tactile. :)
88. I don't know how to bullshit. Sometimes I wish that I knew how.
89. I have a habit of tying plastic bags into small little balls to save space.
90. I had braces for around 5 years.
91. My teeth don't show when I smile consciously, only when I am laughing.
92. I enjoy getting mail.
93. I enjoy sunrises, but I just never wake up for them. Sometimes I'm still awake though. (eep)
94. I have asian flush when I drink.
95. Very random = me.
96. I've never broken a bone.
97. I figure that as long as you make the best of the choices you make, you shouldn't really have any regrets.
98. I've had this blog since the july 30th, 2002.
99. I want to live what I believe in.
100. The sheer immensity and intricacy of the world boggles me, and what boggles me even more is that the earth itself is a infinitesimal speck in the universe.

out of place

2003-12-22T05:45:00.000-05:00
out of place
The last week or so has been a blur...
It's kinda weird cuz I haven't been up to too much. I guess sleeping in til at least 12:00 daily would do that to you, huh? *sheepish smile* And I guess with actually doing something besides going to classes, I haven't had all that much time to exert much of an online influence... like getting my fix of blogs (reading and writing) and my webcomics... teehee.
But it's been good to see family and friends again... seeing the familiar faces brings me warmth, and i'm glad for the comfort they bring to the homesickness I had been feeling the latter half of the semester. But at the same time, seeing the familiar faces makes me realize something. something that has been sitting rather ill with me that has been largely unrealized. That is, until my epiphany while brushing my teeth. And looking back, I guess it should have hit me on the head like a burlap sack full of bricks, and much earlier than it should have. It's sorta come up now and again, but never so clearly as tonight.
I don't really have a life here in vancouver. Like in terms of one that really continues to move forward. The people that I know here, meet for 3 weeks in the winter, and for 4ish months in the summer are what drives it. My own life here has slowed to a near-standstill, especially since I don't work or go to school here.. I'm so glad for the connections that I have retained, and the past that these connect to, but really, it's just that. the past. I'm not really moving forward in my life here. I look around, and I see all my friends here getting jobs, making new friends, quitting jobs, meeting their loves, and basically moving forward with their lives. There's not really enough time for me to move forward here, and I think that has been making me feel kind of uneasy. insecure, even. I feel kinda of out of place. I know it's not possible to lead to coexisting lives, both in guelph and vancouver, but still I try... and sometimes it makes me wonder whether it is a act of futility? It's starting to become frustrating, as I continue to evolve and grow in Guelph, having new experiences, meeting new people and growing in one direction, and then coming back to vancouver, as a holiday , to see people going in their own directions, while the growth that I've made in Guelph has no context in where I am in vancouver.
So whenever I hear about what people are up to, I'm always happy for how far they've come along, but it makes me think of the could-have beens, the realities, and often times, the are-nots, and what is not happening. At any rate, it's been making me feel rather weird and wistful, in a way... that may accoount for weirdness coming from me, if you've felt it. I know from this post, it may seem very dramatic or something... and in reality, it's not really that serious. it's just the best way how I can articulate my thoughts, my reality.
Looking back after writing this, I realize that I have thought of all this before, in some shape and fashion, but yet, I feel feel like someone has just called "E-5", and sunk my last Battleship. It's name is Reality, and it's sinking in.

2003-12-14T03:52:00.000-05:00
a quick synopsis of the madness that ensued today... and then some

so yeah, to bring y'all up to speed.... i've been staying at my friend taeko's place the past two days or so... i've had a great time. i got to visit the wild bird clinic where she volunteers and see birds that i'd otherwise prolly never see so close up... turkey vultures, peregine falcons, redtailed hawks, great horned owls, etc.... it was really cool. i saw an one-winged turkey vulture eat a chicken head (not off a live chicken), but it was interesting nonetheless. and I got to go to carden st. cafe, with some peeps, and good food was in store. the girls dragged the guys shopping afterwards, and i actually saw this really cool toque that i'm gonna get when the sales come on after the holidays... it's a olivegreenish toque with a blue race car shooting flames out the muffler. tres cool.
but yeah, then went to chapters to drool over some more books, and wandered the mall, but saw nothing of interest. then we rented the movie canadian bacon, which is a comedy about the US invading canada, for reasons that i don't really understand, since we both fell asleep during the movie. it wasn't a bad movie... we were just both really tired. and i made thai green curry with chicken for dinner... that was good, even though I fucked up with the proportions royally... it worked out in the end though, so it's all good.
anyways, yeah... me bad... I didn't end up sleeping... I was helping taeko get her place in order and just keeping her company, cuz i felt bad for her running around like a chicken with its head cut off all night long by herself,...so i helped her with stuff... but around 4:30ish, i decided to take a short nap, so yeah, i woke up at like 5:45...

Taeko was running around madly, and she got the rest of the food in the fridge all prepped for cooking... We were trying to use up all the food in the fridge so that we wouldn't have to waste any, and i helped in making an omlette... and she was running around, stressing out. and we had to finish washing the dishes, throw out the garbage and getting things ready... (clean her turtle filter, etc...), and we gobbled down the food faster than humanly possible, and the red car to pick us up at 6:15 to bring us to the airport hadn't showed up by 6:20, so we were getting a bit antsy.

but eventually it did, and we were all running around madly at this point, making sure we had everything we needed... passports, wallets, luggage, socks, gloves, etc.. and then we got on the bus and was able to relax for a little bit.

Then we got to the check in at the airport terminal, and there were billions of ppl milling around, so we were gonna get into line and get our stuff checked in first, and then i was gonna meet her halfway between our check in counters, before we went our seperate ways (me --> vancouver, her --> san fran-->shanghai... so she left on my cart a package she was gonna send her friend in france, at the airport, mostly cuz her hands were mostly full.

So i went to check in... i snuck past the lines cuz i had express check in... so i didn't have to line up for like 5 weeks... but then my carry-on was overweight, and the kendo sword was a bit of an issue... so i had to rearrange... and that was such a pain to figure out, but eventually i did, but just barely, cuz i had to really sit on my suitcase to close it, and my carry-on duffel bag was cutting it really close... (8.7kg out of a possible 10kg).

so i went to find taeko... this was a at around 8:15 or so... she was stopping in san fran, so i think she had to go through US Customs which is ALWAYS a pain in the arse, and her flight was at 9:30... so I think she either forgot about the package, or just had to rush to make her flight.... but i never did end up finding her... i waited around until like 8:30 or so looking for her around the meeting place.. but no dice.

so now i was stuck with an extra package in a la senza bag (which a lot of ppl poked fun at me for)... Taeko's xmas package for her friend... I was gonna send it at the airport for her, but there was no post office there... just a mailbox., but there was no postage on it yet, and i had none either. Also it wasn't even taped closed, so that was a no-go too. I ended up going through security at like 8:40 or so... and yeah... so i had her package that i'm gonna send off for her tommorow... but i went through without any problems... so my flight was boarding at 10:40, so i had like 1.5 hrs to kill... in retrospect, it wouldn't have hurted to stuck around the check in area for another while, just to look for her... but it was a crazy place, and I had no desire to sit around there when taeko had most probably left.

so yeah... i spent $3 on the stoopid internet kiosk to leave her the news about her package, and to like thank her for having me at her place an stuff, since i didn't get to say goodbye.,... and the internet kiosk had the worst keyboard ever... damn, i shoulda takena picture of it... hehehe but it sucked ass, and a very uncomfy seat. gah.. i highly do NOT recommend using that shite.
After that I was walking past the mini-arcade near the departure gate, and seeing there were credits in the golden tee game, so i put another quarter in, and played 2 holes. I blew goats (aka sucked ass), but it was all good. I read my... er.. Katie's book Neutral Buoyancy until the plane started boarding ppl, so that was good, since it was a good book!

Eventually i boarded, and i got a window seat (12F, right in front of the wing), and nobody directly beside me... the seat beside that one say some guy who worked with computers, and was actually from guelph, having like lived there for like 26 yrs or something... it was bizarre...
and fuck, the steward dudes gave me a rough time when i first got on the bus about my carry-on luggage... cuz i had 3 pieces of luggage (2 was the supposed maximum), and one of the pieces of luggage was REALLY big.

but it went uneventfully after that, thank god... and then i gained some kinda of calmness in my day... reading my book, listening to ben harper, and writing in my journal.

So yeah, I touched down in vancouver with no problems, and then I went for lunch with faaahmuly, and then test-drove some cars(I just slept), and then we went for sushi at Kamei on broadway... Good times. I ate tons, and it was great! And now, I'm all comfy after my shower, just doing some laundry before I go to bed. My hands are severely dry, but other than that, I'm a happy boy. can't wait to snuggle into bed for the night. Would be nice if I had a certain warm body to snuggle with though.... *sigh*
anyways, you better be ready, vancouver,
this boy is planning to rock out!
woohoo!
nightnight!

Gone

2003-12-10T16:44:00.000-05:00
Gone

Well it's that time of the year again, kids... the grey limbo between the end of exams and the beginning of holidays.. well at least for kids who leave the province to spend their days at home.
Good god, I'm glad to be done my exams and papers... The last 3 days or so was spent on roughly 7 hours of sleep in total... Monday was rather hellish... with 2 exams, and a paper that I didn't get done on time. I took a 2 hour nap from writing my 20 page paper around 10-midnight the night before, and started cramming for my two exams, and basically kept going strong all night long, and during my exams (even though I started dosing at the very end of the first one (which was alright, because I was pretty much done with it), and then after that, had some dinner, at went back at my paper again. Sorta passed out around 8:30ish on my bed until 11:27pmand I was so confused, as I had litttle recollection of even going to my bed, and as to what day it was, and whether I was screwed for my 2 papers. Katie had also passed out in her own room, and as a result, we didn't get a chance to have dinner. I had some chinese delivery leftovers, which was decent enough, and then kept writing my paper again, all through the night, sustainaing myself on a bowl of instant noodles, and aroundd 9:30am, when I put a pillow at my desk and slumped over until 11:30 in the morning. I finished paper #1 around noonish, had a yoghurt for lunch, and then attacked paper #2 with mucho gusto! Paper 2 was one of the smoothest writing papers I've had in such a long time. At least a year and a half, if not more. I finished that 4 pager in roughly 2 and a half to 3 hours. Then I went to hand them in, borrowing kind Paul's use of his bike (permission due to absence, gotta love it!), and got paper #2 in at the nick of time (4:26 for a 4:30 paper), and paper #1, well, not so in the nick of time. (1 day late... sigh)
Then I came home, collapsed in the hallway for 5 minutes, and then me and Katie went christmas shopping (for each other, tut tut), so that was fun, and then we went to curry in a hurry to sit down and eat non-hurriedly, and yum. such good curry. And our waiter Tim was a hilarious dude. Probably one of the most laid back people i've met. I think if I was working, I'd feel compelled to act all like professional and stuff, but this guy, he just made people feel at home, and made me feel like I was going to someone's house for dinner, except for the fact that we had to order food from a menu, and pay for them... haha.
The bookstore was next in line... Macondo books. a fun store. One of those homely ones typified by chaos. and kinda hard to find stuff, but full of good stuff.
After that, we went back to our townhouse, and cleaned our rooms and Katie packed, as well as wrapping our presents for each other. hehe, so silly. It's kinda sad that Christmas gift exchanges always have to happen according to exam schedules... and I wonder if we'll ever to actually spend an actual christmas together. *sigh* Well, time will tell. and ooh ooh, she got me a chibi-remote control car! It's so tiny and cute! I wish it had a better way of recharging though... it uses 6 friggin batteries! yeesh! but it's fun! I enjoy it.

And now, after I finish write this, I wish I could burst through her doors and see her sitting on her bed, just to see her smile and tell her something completely random, but I can't. The door's locked now, and she's gone home for the holidays, and I'll have to be content with being in my own room. She's only been gone for an hour, and already I feel like there's something missing. I guess that happens when you spend all your time together, you get so used to each other's presence that you feel like one unified person. and now it feels like i'm missing half of myself.
And it rather hurts.
I guess it would if you were missing half of yourself.
Who would have thought, huh?
I hope that Katie will be okay... Rough news today...
She must feel like she's missing two halves of herself...

"Good night, sweet princess, and may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest"
Bye Ittybittykitty... you were sneezy, but you were a good kitty.

Whoa.

2003-12-03T00:39:00.000-05:00
Whoa.

Holy bejeezus, why is it -12C right now, with snow compacted into a deadly arena of slippery ice all over campus? Why is it exam time again? How is it December already? It seems like just yesterday that it was halloween... and the day before that, I had just moved back to Guelph... and Father Time's trying to tell me that another semester of university has come and passed? Argh... so many plans unfulfilled, things undone, people unmet, books unread, cooking experiments unconducted, plans unfollowed. I don't exactly remember when, but I feel like that at one point this semester I was in good shape... and the next thing you know, I've struggling to keep my head above the water, treading water for survival. I can't say that I haven't had a lot of fun this semester... I've had plenty of that. But I just feel like I have little to show for it, except a significantly lighter wallet, a crapload of pictures, and a whole lot of long weary nights working away.

It just seems like one big blur when I look at my past semester from a detached perspective. Sorta like if my head was floating around, just looking on at my body run around, like a chicken with its head cut off. There has been way too much of that. And essentially, the past three weeks have been hectic, but fun. I've been working hard, and playing slightly less hard. The weekends haven't proven to be very rejuvenating... I'm often too busy doing things, or completing assignments to relax at any rate. And now I'll describe them according to no sort of chronological order, whatsoever.

One of the weekends, I went to Alderville, a protected Black Oak Savanna run by Rick Beaver, a First Nations dude. For some of the exploits, check out some pictures here. That was a good time, although negligible amounts of work was done. Another weekend, I went to Toronto to visit my cousin and aunt. That was enjoyable too, getting a chance to get out of the university scene, even for just a little bit, and getting to see some familial faces, as well as seeing my 3 year old nephew. He likes trains.. soo kawaii!! (cute) :) The act of bussing into Toronto was kind of an adventure in itself. It made my psyched to go travelling, that's for sure. Another friday night was spent at a potluck, with my applied ecology class (whose 20 paper I have yet to begin in earnest), followed by a night out on the town. Pictoors can be seen here
There's also been three birthdays in this past month that I helped celebrate... my dear Katie, Paul, and Livia's B-days (who incidentally enough are going out) :D So those have involved in massive amounts of DQ cake, pressies, and food galore. good times all around. :D
I also went to the Enviro Sci End of Semester Bash, for kids in the same program as me, so people spanning all four years were present, I think. It was a good time. I won a door prize, even! Check out a picture here. A $15 gift cert to one of my fav restaurants in Guelph, Carden St. Cafe. huzzah!
Oh, and Katie's mommy and brother were able to make it up the weekend following to help celebrate it, as well as visit the christmas craft fair that happens at the U of Goo.. This, as many things it seems, also involved in copious amounts of good food, otherwise known as yummy restaurants, and apple pie. Yum. And I finally watched Finding Nemo for the first time... I highly enjoyed that movie.. so cute and fuzzy and heartwarming...
I think that actually, it made me a wee bit homesick. For the span of roughly a weekend, I really missed home in Vancouver... partly stressed induced, partly induced by seeing other families here, but I missed my mommy's cooking, the lack of class-going, the oceans and the mountains, and of course, the goodness that are my friends... :)

One of the neat things about having a digital camera, is that essentially, you can distill the essence of your past into a series of photographs that evoke the memory whenever they pop up on your screen. I've enjoyed that muchly. Almost as much as I enjoy my camera's ability to take pictures of complicated or wordy overheads in class. hahaha...

And speaking of which, in the apt words of my friend Henry, there's work "streaming out of every orifice of my body" Ugh. gruesome gruesome image, but pretty true. Here's my deadlines for the next two weeks:

Final Exams:
Soil 3050 (land utilization)- Dec 5 (25% of mark)
Met 2030 (Meteorology and Climatology)- Dec 8 (40% of mark)
Tox 2000 (Principles of Toxicology) - Dec 8 (25% of mark)

Term Papers
Envb 3300 (Applied Ecology and the Environment) - Due Dec 8 (30% of mark) ~ 20 pages
Soil 2120 (introduction to environmental stewardship) - Due Dec 9 (20% of mark) ~ 5 pages

It's mostly the fact that I have 2 exams and a 20page paper due on the same day that frightens me. Arghh... Speaking of which, I should probably spent some more time on it again.
And dammit, I need to make these shorter, dammit. so solly for the longness.

Good night all, and best of luck on exams!

| Feeling: Cold |
| Listening: Femi Kuti - Scatta Head |

Thoughts

2003-11-12T04:38:00.000-05:00
Thoughts
I had sorta ranted out in someone's comment page, and it was somewhat interesting to me, so I thought I'd stick them into here

Edited from a comment I made in livia’s livejournal:

It IS difficult to keep motivated about "saving the world", when it all seems like such a hopeless situation, I'll admit that. But I figure it's not really any reason to not care.. Maybe it's a matter of surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals so that you can feed off of each other's energy.
And you are right in saying that it won't be in your lifetime that everybody will think the same way as you do, that people should work towards saving the world and being sustainable. And in a way, I doubt that will ever happen. Like you said, the world's such a fucking big place... I dunno if it's even possible to concieve a change on such a large scale. But it's all about the grassroots. Individual to individual, community to community, I think change will come about. And while it may never reach the upper echelons of society, it should be what people strive for right?

And sometimes, it boggles my mind to wonder as to why nobody in power ever thinks like "us", the idealistic environmentalists. I dunno, part of it is that I think that type of person isn't necessarily conducive to a political life of any sort, and even if there was someone that was like-minded, and worked their way through the system to a place of power, I think that their beliefs would change through that process, and their original passion diluted and diminished. I think that the very structure of society IS to perpetuate its current way of living, and not to do so is to destroy society as we know it. And I think that they realize this, and then, they become trapped, because they can't destroy society, nor can they continue to contradict their values.

I also think that people are reactionary by nature. In general, people have a mentality of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", simply because modern life takes up so much of their energy. To live is to eat, to play, to earn the dough, to feed the kids, to pay the bills, water the plants, walk the dog, connect with friends, to go scuba diving, to procrastinate on the internet, to get smashed on weekends, etc....

I am guilty of this as well, and I wish I knew how to change. But I have no impetus to change from what I know is working in my life, to something potentially uncomfortable and difficult. And I think that a lot of people's apathy also stems from our collective disconnectedness from our surroundings: our land, our trees, our air, our food. There is no understanding of where and how things come to be. How often do people think about where they get their steak, or their salad, or fruit. Globalization and the media simply exacerbate this problem. Globalization makes it so that we have no chance of understanding where things come from. Our clothes are no longer made in one place. The stitching in Canada, the cloth in China, the buttons from Australia, the washing instructions from Cambodia, and so on. you know what i mean.
And the media, especially the news. The way that news is conducted today, in short 1.5minute clips, with randomly truncated quotes, render all news devoid of context. People rarely understand why things happen, just that they do, and as a result never learn. This applies to actual world events, not to entertainment news. By overwhelming us with useless information, it becomes very easy to become disconnected with the world, with no causality to events happening in the world today. There is a need to become reconnected with the land, to know who you are, and to set roots in where you live, like how David Suzuki described it in The Sacred Balance.
I'm not saying that everyone's needs to become a farmer/gardener, but simply that people need to take more pride and responsibility for the land in which they live.
In terms of people having different values and priorities... I get the idea from what you're saying is that the environment has intrinsic value and should be preserved at the expense of people's livelihoods. Maybe it's not the way you would word it, I'm not sure. But I dunno, I think that the right to a clean environment, clean air and water should almost be a right. That doesn't mean zero human activity, because that's simply not feasible. but there are many ways in which these seemingly conflicting issues can co-exist. Just look at eco-tourism, or agroforestry, or the myriad of creative ideas that are springing from the minds of people. And having to cut down trees to clear land for farming is one thing. Clearcutting thousands of hectares for profit, so that your family can all have matching gold chains, convertible colour changing cars is another.

Overpopulation is something that worries me. I can't fathom the fact that like every second there are at least thousands of people being born. that simply boggles my mind. And unfortunately, so many of these people will lead short, sad lives, of survival, conflict, hunger and sadness. It's depressing, to say the least. I don't think that even with advancing medical technology to "save the lives of millions, and to alleviate suffering" will do shit all. All that happens is that there's more people on a planet of fewer and fewer resources. There just needs to be some sort of population control, or else, it'll just be (or already is) like those population curves that increase exponentially until the point where it simply cannot be sustained, and then it will crash.

Anyways, sorry about the length.. Maybe I should just make this a post instead of a comment. hahaha! but thanks for stirring my brain. :)
And haha, I think it's interesting how you can really see how we're enviro scis.... ranting about the environment in our livejournals... haha we're so cool. :p

2003-11-08T22:33:00.000-05:00
focus

think. breathe. do. forget. be distracted.

rinse and repeat.

That sounds like roughly the story of my life right now. I'm too easily distracted. I don't feel like I have the ability of focus on one thing and develop it into something... of worth, well at least to me. Like the last post I made at my blog. It was jumping randomly all over the place. From going to toronto, to cousins, the future, to saving the world.
WTF??
Maybe it's the lack of sleep talking. I have enough sleep debt for many a small nation, (Luxembourg), and maybe even for a decent size one(France). Where was I again?

Point proven.

Anyways (point proven again), I'm sort of feeling a change. I can sort of feel it stirring itself inside me. It's a bit of a restless feeling. I need something. I'm not quite sure what, but I think it's generally a sense of feeling more alive. It's fucking hard in school and all, with assignments swarming like locusts right now, but I feel like I'm not appreciating each new day that comes my way. I'm trying to wean myself off my computer. (yes, I said wean) It seems like I spend so many of my waking hours in front of it, like I'm feeding an addiction, by basking in its radiation in all its glory. I want to simplify my life, and do the things that really matter to me, not the things that are much easier that I don't mind doing. and to stop doing useless things like it's not a useless thing... like collecting bookmarks like it's digital gold.
Part of it is that I want to live life in all its complexity, nuances, and grandeur. There's simply too much though, and even if I try to bookmark everything in the hopes that one day I'll get around to doing all the things I want to, there'll never be enough time. So I need to stop wanting to do stuff that I know I'll never get around to, and really figure out what I want so that I can just do it. Vive vie! Carpe Diem!
Carpe Noctem.
Have a nice day! :)

2003-11-08T22:08:00.000-05:00
Salutations from the t.dot

Hey y'all.. I decided to go to Toronto this weekend to visit my aunt and my cousin... partly to just see them, partly to gorge on yummy chinese food, and partly to pick up some stuff I had neglected to bring the first time around. So now that we'll all on the same page, let's go back in time to see how I ended up here.. *huzzah*

This morning, I woke up to an alarm clock going off (I think), and to the smell and touch of warm skin next to me. Although I was awakened, it made me happy to wake up and have the one i love beside me. She's always so warm after she's been sleeping in bed for a while. I love it, especially when I'm cold, and I feel like there's a warm blanket around me, and then I get to be warm, toasty and cozy. :D So yeah, needless to say, I fell asleep again, and when I woke up (or was it the 3rd time I woke up), it was like quarter to 12. Fuck... We missed the farmer's market, and the Greyhound for Toronto was at 1:00, and the bus to get there was every 1/2 hour, on the hour. That jolted me awake, as I had yet to pack all my shite together. So hastily, and not entirely willingly, I jumped out of bed, and got ready to leave. Luckily, I checked the greyhound website, and realized there was no bus at that time, and the next bus was at 2:15.
So me and Katie went to downtown Guelph for after a delicious lunch at the Carden St. Cafe. An amazing place... And after that Katie walked me to the bus station before she took the bus back to the University townhouses.. Hope she made it back ok.

So yeah, the hour or so on the bus was surprisingly short. I read a copy of the Georgia Strait that I'd brought with me from my flight from Vancouver, and didn't get the chance to read. So yeah.. like the first week of september or something. Apparently I did, as I recognized almost all the articles inside, from the Fringe festival, to the movies not to miss, and of course, the 50 top cds of the week.

Arriving in Toronto was actually a really neat experience. There was a certain freshness to it, arriving by bus, instead of never getting to put my foot in the streets of the city, like what usually happens when my aunt picks me up from the airport. It was something new and exciting, with just a dash of familiarity in there. I felt like I had walked on this street once before, but as a different person. The angles in the skyline were sharp and angular, and the buildings towered over me like gentle giants slumbering. Really, there's not much of this in Guelph.

My cousin showed up in her car and picked me up, and gave me a funny look, like many people who haven't seen me in a while have done, with my mohawk and all. We started talking, just some general catching up and stuff. And it was almost like a glimpse in the not-too-distant future. She'd just moved into a new apartment with a roommate, just off one of the busier streets of Toronto, and she was working a job from home, and looking for another.
Even though she's got a good 10 years on me or so.. it made me try to imagine where I would be in 5.. 10 years, and really I haven't the foggiest. Right now, I can't even really see much further than my next couple meals and assignments. But whether I want it or not, it's creeping up on me. like a glacier. Undetectable by the naked eye, but unstoppable by almost any means. All around me, it's seemed like there's all this bustling about building careers and getting into associations and getting experience and portfolios, grad school. all these things that people are just going around and doing, and sometimes I have no clue how they're pulling these things off. It seems like their whole lives are all so well planned out. They know what they want, and exactly how to get it. I just don't feel like I'm ready to be living in such a dynamic, yet strangely clear-cut, concrete world. It seems almost.. cutthroat and unforgiving. Even though I know it isn't. My cousin Carolyn's roommate Chris asked me the typical questions that are asked of university students.
Where are you studying?
"Oh the University of Guelph"
What are you studying?
"Umm, Environmental Science"
What do you want to do with that?
"Umm.. Save the world, I guess"
Save the world. For the cover-my-ass answer to that question, that's how clear-cut and concrete I am. I have no idea how, or where to begin. or how to get to a point where I can even make a difference. But there is one thing I do know. I know that the world I live in today, I want it to beat with the pulse of life. To survive and to flourish and not cower in fear, even with the knowledge that humanity is destroying the very ability for the earth to survive. And I want to believe that the Earth can do this, like the grass that grows in the cracks of the pavement, the tree that stands tall and proud beside the skyscrapers.

2003-11-06T02:51:00.000-05:00
Fall is in the air
Today it was bloody windy, and I was late for class. But I saw a cute black squirrel making his rounds to his cupboards. Very cute. Two things though. 1. Why do I always think squirrels are guys? Does anyone else do that? and 2. What kind of word is cupboard anyways? cubbard... cup-board. what is it? a board for cups? but anyways.. yeah. the squirrel was cute. And I saw leaves running about playing tag and chasing each other in the wind. And the trees were beginning to start shivering, as they lost their clothes, and as I walked under a lamppost, the seagull sitting on top of it laughed at me. These things more than made up for my stress with the stupid paper I had to write, and really, life is good... so live it up! :)

2003-11-05T00:20:00.000-05:00
Halloween fun
hey, click here for a pic from my halloween!! THERE! no wait... HERE!. What funness, and now, I chomp on the poor helpless jamaican beef patty!
EEp, back to work now.

| Mood: Slightly mad (in the maniacal sense |
| Music: Barry White- You Sexy Thing |

2003-11-04T02:23:00.000-05:00
augh... need sleep

heya.. Sorry the writing has been so far and inbetween lately. I actually wasn't planning to right, but I thought I'd document the monumentous occasion of me going to bed early... (i.e. before 2:30) I was gonna say 2:00, but that really just ain't happening at this point.. So I'm gonna settle for second best here.
Note: inane smatterings of words!
Well today was interesting. I had my Meteorology take-home midterm due today, and in the name of all things sacred, I could not for the life of me get any of those questions. I think part of it was exhaustion induced or osmething... but I just kept pushing myself last night because I knew that if I didn't, I wouldn't finish the thing. So 9:30am rolls around, and i'm just like "fugnuts!!!" and I crawl into Katie's bed for a warm short nap. I get up at like 11:00 and then start to work on the thing again... I made it to class at like 12:30... and somehow I managed to not keel over with tiredness... After that, I was supposed to have a class, but it was cancelled at the last minute, since my prof's flight from Brazil was delayed. Brzil, you must be thinking... yes... I'm convinced that my prof is an intermational man of mystery, and he goes around the world and does crazy shit all the time... Like since like september, we havne't had a normal week of class with this man... it seems like class is cancelled for various reasons... So far this semester alone, he's gone to Washington, D.C., Alberta, and Brazil... like WTF?!? oh well anyways. yeah, class was cancelled (again). So glad that there's no in class final for this class... So I went to the Bullring with henry, and I used my coupon for a meatball sub, which was fan-fuggin-tastic! Umm.. yeah, and then I sat on a couch by myself to do some work/pass out. It was random.. some guy randomly looked at me and said that I had nice shoes... yunno.. the blue new balance ones... It's just weird, because ever since I got the mohawk, I seem to be getting more attention... haven't decided if I really like it, cuz the last time was a bunch of 14 yr olds in stratford who said "nice hair", before walking off giggling. Umm yeah..
So yeah... apparently I was passed out on that chair pretty good.. I had my camera in plain view on my lap, and katie saw me, and came up to me and took it out of my lap to check the time... (yes I'm that sad, I use my digtial camera to check the time..), and I didn't even notice... that coulda been so bad... so then, ya... i had some more class, and then I went home, and made fried rice and potato slices.. vely nummy... and then I cleaned my room some, and then I buckled down a little bit for some work... and then since katie has such a hectic day/week and only had coffee cake or dinner...... i made her dinner... which was the same thing as I had... but I made mega amounts... so yay, for left overs!!! :)
and so yeah... I running on almost 36 hours of mostly consciouness... and my brain is getting fried, and this entry is blowing goats, so with that, I bid thee adieu!
before I go.. A list of upcoming thingys to do:
-finish Soil 2120 Guelph Landscape Paper
-finish Envb 3300 Abstract
-finish another Envb 3300 Abstract
-buy greyhound tickets to go to toronto
-write in my journal
-grocery shopping
-laundry (damn the lack of socks)
-sort through my digital photos
-write a blog entry that is midly entertaining
See y'all soons, you big baboons! :D

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate